阳光下的Ean和可爱多

Ean妈妈

生物疗法：


基于以下原因我打算进行初步的生物疗法：
Ean食物过敏很厉害，不能吃Wheat，Oat， fish, egg white, 也在禁奶。担心他的营养问题。
口角爱长皮炎，
经常得COld，
有时腹胀的厉害，象怀孕5个月似的。
大便不规律，中午，傍晚都有，就是没早上。
目前禁麦禁奶，但是不彻底，比如酱油，冰激凌没禁。禁奶以后没有明显的变化。
现在有俩个星期了，每天会有那末2分钟脚尖走路。
目前仍然会小声哼哼，有的像Huming，或Soft Screaming，（是不是自我刺激呢？）

5月中我见了一本地的DAN！，他没问什么Ean的具体情况就开了以下Order（要不是因为他有一个自闭的孩子我不会去看他）
1。Organic Acid Test(62 tests)--Urine
2.Cholesterol --blood
3.oral Omega 2tsp twice a day (目前还没成功加给Ean，他一喝就说NO）

关于第二项，他说是如果Low就需要Treat，这我还是第一次听说。
请过路的家长多指教。

Ean妈妈

下面引用由[U]LittleKoala[/U]发表的内容：

Ean的进步就是大噢！尤其是语言方面的进步让我们好羡慕。

我倒是觉得Ean先学会more和help没什么问题，因为他在说这些的时候，是伴随着结果的，不象大与小，先与后那样过于抽象。

此外，...

谢谢了，但愿是没什么问题。反正是这样了。这次猜错了。[EM07]只是妈妈在那个地方上的学说以说话受了影响。[EM07]

kwenma2

下面引用由Ean妈妈发表的内容：

生物疗法：


基于以下原因我打算进行初步的生物疗法：
Ean食物过敏很厉害，不能吃Wheat，Oat， fish, egg white, 也在禁奶。担心他的营养问题。
口角爱长皮炎，
经...

关于胆固醇的事，最近大平原试验室有报导。具体的你看一下：
http://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/home/eng/cholesterol.asp
我觉得在禁食的小孩中还是很可能发生的。但是有些小孩没有禁食，也有这个情况。胆固醇低，会造成很多症状，具体的看看文章。禁食的孩子很多又对鸡蛋过敏，所以实在不行，可以选用胆固醇的补充物（文章中提供了名字和牌子）。这是这个消息的大概意思。

Ean妈妈

Kwenma, 您真棒!Ean的样品正是要送到这个实验室.这样我有点信心了.

Ean妈妈

Ean看Starfall 这个网站有一阵了，因为每次都要求妈妈点击，妈妈又趁机提要求，今天他突然要自己操作，我也就让他。没想到他居然会用了，自己十分得意。
让我很是担心，不知道会不回失去这个有利武器。还有这种眼手的协调动作希望对大脑也是很好的锻炼吧？不知道小Kowala自己操作后情况有无变化？

LittleKoala

Ean妈妈：我觉得Ean学会了一项技能，就是学会了，不用担心，他用着你的地方多着呢！

小考拉学会使用鼠标玩游戏后，技术日见提高，现在就差熟练使用双击的动作了（其实就快学会了）。学会使用电脑，就给我们找麻烦，前两天把Task Bar弄到窗口顶端，他爸爸花了两天的工夫也没还原，最后只好打电话回北京向小考拉舅舅求援才解决。

Starfall那个program很好，不仅学习26个字母和单词，还有配对等其他练习。最近，我们就结合字母K后面的迷宫游戏，教儿子认识上下左右的概念。

还有，刚开始的时候，他很迫切想玩，过几天，就可以教他wait的概念。现在，他有时会撕一张计算机的图片，然后说help，想玩。告诉他现在不是时候，一般都可以做罢，没什么不良后果。

kwenma2

EAN妈妈，忙什么呀？这几天跑哪里去了？

问你一下，你们的ＲＤＩ　ＣＯＮＳＵＬＴＡＮＴ是不是ＲＤＩ网站上的有ＲＤＩ证书的同志呀？

哲哲妈妈

一直关注

oy

EAN妈妈，一切可好？
给你短信，给你电话，都没有人接应。好久没有新消息，有些挂念。
EAN你们都还好吗？不是带爷爷奶奶出去度假了吧？

Ean妈妈

谢谢妈妈们的惦记， 我也急着想看大家的更新。
我们去这个地方学习了：http://www.paceplace.org/ 回来了。

简单的说就是，他们提供一个家，你到哪住一星期，他们3人轮流每天给5个小时的实地指导。他们的方法是很靠RDI，很Functional。但也有ABA的印记。

为什么去呢，我的一个星妈朋友推荐的，后来又有俩个妈妈去了回来都给了很高的评价。
其中一个是我的RDI Consultant。其中一个还去了两次，所以我义无反顾地去了。
他们那有一本日记本，给大家写感受的。大多数妈妈去了哪里都会写下日记，当然都是夸奖的话，我想写的人都是发自内心的感激。

以下是我的一个朋友的diary。
Humbled, exhausted, inspired are a few words that come to mind after a week of being in the hands of Eric, Kathi, and Steve.  When I heard the words, "XX is on the spectrum."  I closed my
eyes and in a split second my beautiful husband and I no longer had the luxury of just being parents.  When I opened my blurry eyes there we were standing at the bottom of Mount Autism.  We were naked, holding our precious baby (who just turned 2)  in one hand and
baby oil in the other to protect us from the burning sun.     And so we read, we studied, we learned.  We bought our gear, our crampons, our carabineers, and our ice ax. We took our first step forward leaving behind us a dream of raising a neurotypical child and moving forward raising XX.  When we took our first step we lifted our knees as high as we could and we smashed our
boots with all of our might into the cold hard ice.  The ice shattered and I felt XX squeeze her little fingers against our big strong hands as if she understood our message, "hang on little one this is going to be quite a ride."     For us, pace is perhaps our strongest Sherpa yet. For we climb
this mountain alone, but they have helped us stay on a path moving forward.  Not always the easiest or most efficient path, but a path that would help our little calf learn to climb a bit more
independently.  Pace helped us cherish the moments when she was able to throw her own ice ax as an avalanche was about the fall.  Pace provided us with more confidence, sharper axes,
warmer boots, and needle sharp crampons.      We are warriors now, relentlessly corralling our
little calf up a mountain she can't climb by herself. yet.  Our hope and prayer for our little XX (and I'm sure for all my fellow warriors) is that when we reach the top, it will be XX finding her
own path, creating her own journey, where we will watch her spread her wings and fly in
her own right.  Thank you to pace for helping us climb a mountain we never thought we'd be asked to climb.  From our grateful hearts to yours we thank you.  And away we go.

现在我回来了，这3个人里，Eric 是很Amazing的一个，我不认为我能从任何别的地方学到他教我的东西。就他一个人来说，每一分钱都值得。但是另外俩个，就低于我的期望。
总体来说，我认为还是值得的。如果一年后还有钱，我也会再去，因为不同的时期，孩子需要不同的指导，但是我不会象这次这样高的期望和义无反顾。

我觉得每家人的感受会不一样，主要看这家父母有多少知识，有些妈妈爸爸比较空白，那自然觉的学的很多。我觉的Kathi，Steve就没教我多少新东西。

我去的原因还有一个是因为他爸，他是很爱Ean的，可是他上班，回来也有很多的事，要他学太多也是比较勉强，他喜欢和Ean玩，但他没有RDI的技巧，总是不停的TEST Ean，我说都没用，我希望这次能提高他的水平。当话从专业人士嘴里说出来时，他会听。这是个把爸爸提高的好方法，一个星期我们完全Focus On Ean

如果你想使用他们的服务，请一定提到Ean Zheng Family，这样我们如果再去（至少一年后）能有些Discount。[EM01] 谢谢各位。

kwenma2

ＥＡＮ妈妈，谈点具体他们从什么方面来指导你们？你从ＥＲＩＣ那里有什么具体收获？＄６０００美刀费用能有保险报销吗？

Ean妈妈

给我一点时间，我写写Eric教我的东西。这些费用没有报销。

Ean妈妈

不如先把他们的Notes都贴上来吧，大家可以琢磨着也学习一下。
Kathi，那个博士:
Activities:  upstairs play, grocery store, sporting goods store

Social Play.  Playing upstairs was a nice way to get to know Ean.  He demonstrated some nice social skills in this context.  We played the “Swinging Game” whereby we swung Ean on a blanket and dropped him onto a bean bag chair.  Several variables seemed to contribute to success of this game.  First, the game was simple and repetitive, allowing Ean to feel competent and confident.  I created a structure such that Ean could find our play predictable.   Second, I never pursued Ean.  We began to play and then paused until he joined on his own.  This is an important distinction.  When possible, I want to create a play routine that Ean willingly chooses to play rather than an activity that we force him to do.  Often, we began to play on our own (e.g., “One….two….three…”), which drew Ean back to the play area and focused his interest on our activity.  Third, for this play sequence, I gave Ean responsibility in the play.  That is, he needed to lie down on the blanket (we did not place him there).  In time he needed to call “Mama” and “Bapa” to help him (we did not swing him until he requested our help).  When we said, “Ready….set….,” Ean needed to say, “Go.”  When we give Ean a role in the play, we are equal play partners.  We should not entertain Ean; we are playing together.

Physical Coordination.  We went to the grocery store and the sporting goods store to practice walking together, staying physically coordinated.  It will be important to remember that Ean is very young and that very young children are not expected to remain perfectly attentive to walking together with Mom and Dad.  However, Ean can be expected to better physically coordinate.  I observed that when Ean gets more than about 10 feet away from Mom or Dad, he seemingly gets over-whelmed or frustrated.  At that point, he typically falls to the floor and cries.  However, if Ean stays within 10 feet of Mom and Dad, he was significantly more willing and able to run back to his parents.  If Mom and Dad were close enough (within 10 feet), he would often giggle with outstretched arms as he ran to Mom and Dad.  During our time together, when Ean got “too far” from Mom and Dad, I would provide some mildly firm emotional feedback (e.g., “uh oh….where’s Mama and Bapa,”), with a stern face.  I would hold this emotional feedback for approximately one minute and then guide Ean back to Mom and Dad.  In this way, Ean is experiencing that when he is away from Mama and Bapa, it feels scary and confusing.  When he is with Mama and Bapa, fun and interesting things happen (e.g., play with a motorcycle helmet, get a bite of candy, play drums, ride a bike).  We cannot explain this to Ean.  He must experience the different feelings associated with being physically coordinated versus not physically coordinated.  We were able to practice this difference for over an hour while shopping together.

I also observed that when the adult holds Ean’s hand, he often tries to pull away from the adult in the effort to escape.  In contrast, when we were able to get Ean to hold the adult’s finger, he was less likely to struggle against the connection.

Finally, Ean was easily guided to transition away from desired items when we verbalized, “All done candy/doors/bikes,” or “Bye bye store/boats/hats.”  This bit of language seemed to organize Ean and help him tolerate the mild frustration.


Activities:  Children’s Museum

Attending:  During a child-focused activity like our journey to the Children’s Museum, it will be difficult for Ean to demonstrate high levels of attending.  Like any young child, he was very distractible.  However, Ean explored his environment well and played in a largely age-appropriate manner.  It should be noted that Ean was on The ConnectorRx at all times, which prevented him from wandering haphazardly.  I am certain that the use of the ConnectorRx helped Ean’s attending to Mom and Dad.  I recommend that you continue to use the ConnectorRx, especially in highly stimulating environments.

Ean was focused on each exhibit.  He did not seem to observe other children much, but he did observe Mom and Dad.  Several activities were highlights for me.  First, his play in the clay section illustrated the importance of attending during play with novel items (e.g., the clay).  He was initially timid and uncertain about the clay.  However, he was able to soothe his distress and enjoy the activity by attending to the emotional state of Mom and Dad.  Since Mom and Dad were enjoying the activity, Ean was willing to engage.  We did not set out to “teach” Ean how to play with clay.  Rather, we all sat in proximity to Ean and played with our own clay.  Ean was attentive.  He learned how to use several tools by observing Dad.  We stayed for nearly 20 minutes at an activity I did not predict would interest Ean for long.  Only once or twice did he stand or try to walk away.  Each time it took minimal effort to re-engage Ean.  Given that he is typically a very physically active child, it was striking that this activity so engaged him.  He seemed to enjoy sitting calmly with Mom and Dad to explore together in a less distracting setting.  I encourage you to find opportunities to explore together with age-appropriate activities.   

The other highlight of our excursion was playing in the music room with the “Sound Tube.”  This activity clearly emphasized the difference between playing with a toy and playing with Kathi (who happened to have a toy).  Ean enjoyed playing with the toy.  However, his joy was clearly amplified by the social interaction.  As I made a predictable play routine with the “Sound Tube,” Ean began to anticipate my giggles and tickles.  He laughed MORE because we were playing together.  He even giggled multiple times on the way home, seemingly recalling our highly engaging play.

Referencing:  Ean should reference an adult when uncertain.  There were multiple examples today of Ean referencing an adult when he was uncertain.  As we passed by the hand dryers near the water tables, Ean was clearly frightened.  Because he was on the ConnectorRx, he could not run away and avoid the uncertainty.  Rather, he observed Dad using the hand dryers and calmly stating, “Oh, it is just a dryer.  It makes my hands dry.”  Ean crept slowly toward Dad, held Dad’s leg, and eventually reached out to feel the warm air.  Excellent job Ean !  Without the ConnectorRx, this learning moment may have been lost.

A similar experience happened when playing with the orange spinning balls.  Ean was initially frightened by the motor with the button.  Because the ConnectorRx kept Ean close to his Dad, he was able to reference Dad and find social regulation.  In time, Ean was playing at the exhibit rather than running from it.  I recommend that you always be aware when Ean is anxious or uncertain.  Don’t let him avoid situations that he can learn to understand with adult guidance.

Finally, when playing with the “Sound Tube,” Ean had thirty or more opportunities to reference me when he was confused when the toy was “stuck.”  That is, after each turn I held the toy in place.  Only when Ean glanced at me did I smile, nod, and continue our game.  I never said, “Look at my eyes.”  I never point to my eyes.  Occasionally I would draw his hand to my face to get his attention.  Most of the time I simply paused.  The game was “on hold” until Ean glanced at me.  Only then did our game resume.  In this way, Ean is learning that when he is uncertain, he should look to his social partner for information.  When he glances to adults for guidance, the action continues.

Activities:  train ride to the grocery store & Starbucks

Attending, Referencing, & Coordinating.  Our adventure on the train to the grocery store and Starbucks provided another opportunity to practice attending, referencing, and coordinating.  As we walked from the train to the grocery store, Ean was beginning to demonstrate improved ability to attend, reference, and coordinate.  Each time he got too far from Mom and Dad, I stopped him and sternly said, “Uh oh…where is Mama and Bapa?”  Ean would typically ignore me for approximately 30 seconds.  Then, he would begin to look distressed and irritated.  He then looked toward Mom and Dad.  As soon as I released him, Ean RAN each time back to Mom and Dad with great joy.  Ean is very teachable.

Ean妈妈

Session with Steve, Speach P


Activities:  play around the house, go for a walk

Family priorities:
•        Improve referencing
•        Improve engagement
•        Respond to his name
•        Improve attention to the speaker
•        Short, fleeting eye gaze
•        Repetitive behaviors (opening and closing doors, pushing buttons)
•        Relationship with 12 month old brother (Ethan)
•        Language development
•        Suggestions or comments on Ean’s overall program

  
Some emerging themes that impact Ean’s ability to engage:
During your stay at PACE Place we will look at a number of key areas that impact each item on your family priority list.  We will look for patterns in: 1) how does Ean regulate his arousal/attention/emotions when he encounters various degrees of tension/uncertainty, 2) How can Mom and Dad attempt to regulate Ean’s arousal, 3) what interferes with Ean’s ability and desire to attend to his emotional environment, 4) What helps Ean to reference and appraise his social environment when he experiences tension and uncertainty, 5) what variables enhance Ean’s ability and motivation to attempt to enter a coordinated pattern (emotional and physical coordination) with his partner.

•        Shared regulation -  “regulation” means ‘how do I modify my emotions so I can return to my comfort zone’?  For example, if I am feeling too anxious, how can I reduce this feeling?  If I am feeling too scared, how can I reduce this feeling?  When a child hurts his knee, what does he do to try to make it feel better?  If I am feeling too bored, how can I reduce this feeling of boredom.  If I get too hot, how can I cool down?  If I get too cold, how can I warm up?  When I get too excited, how can I turn it down to safe level?  
•        Feeling ‘regulated’ means feeling safe and secure.
•        When Ean attempts to regulate, he turns away from his relationships.   He coordinates with himself.  He finds predictability in cause/effect objects.  He gains a sense of organization from opening and closing doors.  Being organized and regulated feels good.  We want to help Ean to feel organized and regulated within his relationships with mom and dad.   Right now, it takes a lot of effort from us to entice Ean to coordinate.  It is not an automatic way of being for him.  
•        When we attempt to regulate, we turn toward our relationships.  We coordinate with another person.  We touch (e.g., when you soothe a child), we move (e.g., when he has so much energy/anxiety we don’t know what to do, we start to pace, or clean, or exercise).  We talk.  We are connected to other people in more ways than we are consciously aware.   It is like we have an invisible rubber band that connects us and prevents from getting too far apart.  Ean does not have that invisible rubber band that prevents him from getting too far apart.
•        Shared attention = looking to mom and dad’s face to amplify joy and to soothe distress.  This is regulation.  At this point in his development, Ean shares attention far more easily when he is emotionally aroused.  It takes a lot of energy from you to create the opportunity for shared attention.  We need to find less effortful ways to share attention.  Walking around the swimming together is one possible idea that requires slightly less effort to create shared attention.  Shared emotions and shared movement are crucial in order to attain shared attention.  You and Ean have to be feeling the same general way and moving toward the same general goal.   That means that he needs to follow your lead as much as you need to follow his.  
•        Coordinated movement = regulation and balance.  Ean needs to follow you just as much as you need to follow him.  When you follow Ean, it is not always a deliberate decision.  You do it without thinking.  That is what your relationship drives you to do.  We need to allow Ean to follow you in an automatic way.  That means, we want Ean to follow you without your having to say “follow me Ean”.  We want him to make that decision.  Having a ‘job’ (e.g., holding mom’s finger) can bridge the gap here.

•        Thoughtful participation – As mom and Ean walked around the swimming pool, Ean had some valuable experience with being thoughtfully engaged.  His “job” was to hold mom’s finger.  If he did that, he was coordinated with mom.  When he let go, he was effectively saying “YOU need to coordinate with me.  I don’t need to coordinate with you”.  When he was moving with Sarah it was because he was holding her finger.  When he let go, we created an emotional consequence.  Ean felt different after he let go of mom’s hand.  We stopped his world from moving by sitting him in on a pool chair.  He sat on the chair for 10-20 seconds and then mom offered her finger as the way out.  We were persistent and we were successful.  I fully expect Ean to need frequent reminders to ‘hold mommy’s hand’.  He’s young.   I also fully expect him to take mom’s and dad’s guidance.  He doesn’t know enough about the world to follow his agenda at will.  He needs your guidance and your persistence.  It is easy to guide him when he is happy and content.  It is more difficult to guide him when he is protesting and pushing you away.  But, in both situations, he needs your guidance.  

•        Too much verbal prep can start the ‘dis-connect’ cycle from Ean’s perspective.  You should just start doing it.  Upstairs, mom had a great idea about swinging the bears on the blanket that Ean had been swinging on.  When you presented the information with language (e.g., “Ean, do you want to swing the bears?”) the interaction stalled and you lost your momentum.  It felt like we were watching Ean….waiting for HIM to get the interaction going again.   It’s ok to provide pauses to allow some time for Ean to initiate.   It is equally ok to simply say what you are doing as you do it.  (e.g., “one bear…on the blanket…two bears….on the blanket….ready…..set……go…).  When we simply started to line up the bears to carry out mom’s plan, Ean loved it.   His attention was strong and he brought his emotions into the interaction.  First we started to move.  Second, we used language to talk about what we were doing.  Third, we did not ask Ean what he thought.  




Activities: pet store, big swing, playing around the house

Objectives:
•        Improve referencing
•        Improve engagement
•        Shared regulation

Notes:
•        Moving together - Before we left the townhouse this morning, mom and Ean hooked up with the connector.   In order for social attending skills to develop, Ean has to be in a position to notice.  But, if he is expending all of his energy in effort to regulate and organize his experience all by himself, he will have no energy left to notice anything.  This is what we saw this morning when Ean retreated to a corner while mom and dad started to move around the house and prepare to leave.  Ean withdrew from his relationships and sheltered himself from what was happening (e.g., he was sitting at the side of the sofa where he could not see anything that was happening).  Once mom hooked up with Ean, he moved with you and he watched you as you put on your shoes.  When he was moving with you, he was sharing attention with you and THAT was his source of regulation.  He was noticing what you were doing.  He noticed where you went to get your shoes.  He watched as you put them on.  He imitated that language that you used as you narrated your action (e.g., “this is my shoe”  “white shoe”  “I put it on”).  He sat on the step and he comfortably watched everything you did with your hands.  
•        Initiations - In the car, Ean made a very loose initiation to close the car door himself.  All he did was look at the door.  His intent seemed to be “I need to close the door”.  When gave him the job to close the door by himself and he did it.  In some situations, Ean might be thinking “let me do it myself”.  But, he is not effectively communicating his intent.  Ean’s initiations are not always strong and clear.  If we watch his eyes, we can see his intent and we can offer him increasingly sophisticated ‘jobs’.   Ean uses language to initiate about 30% of the time.  The rest of his initiations are subtle, nonverbal initiations.  For example, he might look at the freezer door after he has opened the refrigerator door.  His intent is “let me open the freezer door” and he lets it be know by simply looking at the door.  Or, he might look at the freezer door and then reach up to dad to be picked up.  Without using a single spoken word, he expresses his intent: “pick me up and carry me closer to the door so I can open it”.   To increase the frequency of Ean’s social initiations, we need to honor his non-verbal initiations much of the time.  He does not have to use words every time he initiates.  
•        Distress-recovery-competence & trust - It is important that Ean have experiences that lead him to realize that he can regulate his emotions by attending, referencing, and coordinating with mom and dad.  
o        Distress – As we left the pet store, Ean wanted to go to the park.  Mom and dad decided “no, let’s go”.  Ean experienced distress.  He was not happy.  He wanted the park but he didn’t get it.  His response is to cry/protest.  This is a common response for children who are at Ean’s developmental level.   The big question is “how will the distress be regulated?”
o        Recovery – As we drove away, Ean was crying.  He was coordinated with us, physically.  He was not coordinated with us emotionally.  We waited for HIS emotions to catch up with ours.  Ean was distressed.  Mommy and Daddy were ok.  Ean was watching mom and he was calling for dad.  He was attempting to pull you into his emotional confusion.  But, the situation did not merit the level of distress that Ean showed.  Mom and dad did not follow his emotional lead.  (In fact, if you had followed his lead (i.e., tried to soothe) he would likely have protested louder).  Rather, you allowed the interaction to unfold while holding your own emotions as something Ean could aim for.    Ean experienced the feeling of recovery within your relationship.  He did not leave the interaction to self-regulate.  Rather, he stayed in the relationship and he self-regulated.   
o        Competence and trust – Recovering from distress is a crucial experience for a child to have.  It is important that EAN learn to manage small levels of distress by attending, referencing, and coordinating, and thereby recover from his distress.  In this way, he learns to not avoid uncertain experiences or panic when he is uncertain.  Ean can recover from his distress by self-regulation and co-regulation.  When Ean appreciates that he can manage his own uncertainty, he will more effectively handle situations of distress.   He can trust that “when I coordinate with mom and dad things usually work out ok”.
•        We provided Ean with another opportunity to experience distress-recovery-competence.  As we left Eric’s office with the musical toy, Ean was living in the moment and he was a happy boy as long as he had the toy in his hands.  When I helped him to put it in the trunk of the car, he felt distress.  He was likely thinking “if I lose contact with it, it will be gone forever”.   We knew that wasn’t the case, but he did not.  He recovered on the drive back to the townhouse.  He experienced competence, joy and trust when dad let him get the musical from the trunk of the car once we had arrived at the townhouse.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Afternoon session with Steve Ryan MA, CCC
Activities: trip to the bookstore in the mall

Notes:
•        I think that the big take aways from this afternoon came up near the end of our time together.  During routine interactions (e.g., getting into the car, putting on shoes, eating) really hold back on a providing Ean with help.   He is a smart kid.  He often knows what to expect and he anticipates.  As we were getting out of the car, mom did NOT automatically reach over and unhook Ean’s seatbelt.  Ean, for several seconds, sat passively and he waited.  He waited for mom to do the thinking for him.  He waited for mom to do it all.  In fact, he even held his arms to make it easier for her!
•        As we stepped back and waited, Ean started to initiate.  At first, he kicked his leg.  When that didn’t get this routine system moving, he moved his hand toward the buckle.  When he realized that he needed help, THEN he looked toward Steve.  His look was quick and he did not use language.  That is fine.  
•        I encourage you to hold back and wait before you provide help that Ean doesn’t know that he needs.   He needs to put forth some level of effort to contribute to the interaction.  This is not to say that he needs to be completely independent.  Not at all.  He needs to be completely inter-dependent.   When he is trying (e.g., shoes, seatbelt, closing the car door) he is feeling a healthy level of tension and stress.  He is organized and his attention is at its best.  When we provide unrequested help to him, we are depriving him of this experience.  We are removing the tension that he needs in order to organize himself and exert his will on the world.
•        At the store, as dad and Ean walked around using the connector, we made an observation.  When it began to feel like dad was working really hard to engage and entice Ean, the harder he tried, the more evasive Ean became.  He turned to get as far from dad as he could.  BUT, when dad started to ignore Ean, Ean’s attention slowly came back to see what dad was doing.  As long as dad was talking about what dad was doing, Ean was nicely coordinated.  When Ean felt like dad was directing language directly at him, he was not as well coordinated.   
o        When you are using the connector, it’s ok to direct language at Ean.  Be mindful of how Ean is responding to your language.  If he is coordinating with your language, great.   If it feels like your language is pushing him away, reduce the amount of talking that you are directing at him.  Talk to yourself.  Or, talk about what you are doing.  But stop directing your words AT Ean.  

Ean妈妈

session with Eric


1.        Building Initiative Capacity:  Much of child development involves initiating toward the people in our lives as well as other stimuli.  Ean initiates are limited in the social realm.  Ean needs to experience the power of initiating within his relationships in order to develop a stronger understanding of how the social world works.  Many of the initiations that we would want to encourage in Ean are non-verbal.  
a.        First and foremost Ean needs to accumulate experiences looking at another person to develop a firm understanding of the power of this behavior.  Looking at his mom and dad should provide Ean with emotional comfort, stimulation, direction as well as predictability.  Having no other agenda than allowing looking to produce these results will help Ean gain confidence in his ability to impact his relationships in a positive and organizing manner.
b.        Imitation within the context of daily living is another behavior that can be seen as an initiation as long as nobody is requiring imitation to occur.  A good example of this was reflected in the walk in the Nature Park we took.  Ean was apprehensive to touch a pinecone when I showed it to him.  When the pinecone was put in mom and dad’s hand Ean was at first resistant.  As they each held the pinecone in close proximity to Ean and did NOT require anything from him Ean became curious.  He hid behind mom for a few seconds and then started to attend (observe) mom and dad looking at the pinecone.  After a few more seconds Ean was touching the pinecone.  It wasn’t long he was picking up the pinecone and throwing it.  Through the walk Ean was open to new things to touch and explore as long as mom and dad were having the same experience and waiting for Ean to coordinate; NOT trying to get him to perform.
c.        Gesturing is another area of initiations to allow to unfold with Ean.  Waiting for Ean to gesture in conjunction with his eye contact will help Ean’s communication be better understood.

2.        Combing social with cognitive:   When Ean speaks he often does not look to his communication partner to ensure the information he is trying to convey is being received.  Waiting for Ean to reference our face before providing him with a response will help Ean understand the power looking at a communication partner has.

3.        Different styles: Mom and Dad:  Although the family system thrives when the parents share the same goal it is important to keep in mind that a child does not have the same relationship with their mother as they do with their father.  Ean will thrive being in different relationships that share a common goal.  Making room for each other’s style of engagement will allow Ean to learn about the many ways people learn and grow together.  

4.        Language:  Although language is an important skill in our culture it is important to note that language is not pivotal to impacting the core deficits of autism.  Ean will thrive with the more socially competence he gains.  Building language skills is done via social development in neuro-typical development.  We want to replicate this process as closely as possible with Ean’s educational path.  To help ensure that Ean’s language development is both progressing and socially functional I strongly encourage that he learn language in a functional setting whereby talking moves his social world.  That is, Ean needs to know that words make things happen not to simply label objects.  This is why Ean will say “stop”, “all done” etc. because they make something happen in the world.  We want to add to this list of vocabulary that makes change in his immediate environment.  

5.        Ean Saying “STOP”:  Social development trumps language development.  That is, Ean sometimes says “stop” when he needs to be pushed a little.  If we stopped when he did not want to see the pinecone he never would have discovered that it was safe and expanded his horizons.  Be sure to take into context weather Ean’s protest is in need of validation.  He may need to have something stop or he may need to be stretched a little.  As parents you will know best.

6.        ConnectorRx:  Ean was able to attend, reference, and coordinate with us with minimal conscious output when on the Connector.  These processes are supposed to occur with minimal to no conscious effort.  Ean’s diagnosis comes from developmental weaknesses that are believed to largely emanate in the right hemisphere of the brain.  The Connector seems to bring the right brain processes back into social interactions with little to no awareness on the part of the parent or the child.  Ean’s interactive style while connected with mom and dad demonstrated right brain behaviors that are in need of remediation.  I recommend that you continue to use the ConnectorRx to help Ean access these unconscious processes.

7.        Creating interactive play:  Ean is always doing something.  Responding to his actions as though they are initiations creates play that requires little to no effort on the part of the parent.  For example Ean wanted to be held by mom.  Dad playfully grabbed Ean away from mom and Ean got away and ran back to mom.  Dad came and got Ean again.  This simple interaction was easy for Ean to organize and increased Ean’s arousal level, eye gaze and use of language all within a social context.

8.        Arousal level:  Ean’s arousal level can drop pretty low.  His facial affect (emotion) is often flat.  Engaging Ean emotionally drives his arousal level up and he initiates more interaction.  Keeping Ean EMOTIONALLY engaged will be pivotal to his continued development.  

9.        Having a “job” in play and daily routine:  Ean always needs a job in play.  He needs to have a role to act out.  When dad was playfully grabbing Ean away from mom Ean’s job was to get back to mom.  This was organizing on both the cognitive as well as the emotional level.  

10.        Language Development:  Language grows in syllables not words.  Learning to speak using longer sentences in is taught indirectly and discovered by children.  Directly teaching language is artificial and requires addition care to be made to generalize in to daily living.  Ean’s language has continued to prosper in the context of daily living with mom and dad over the last week.  He needs to feel emotionally safe and connected to develop his language system.  Mom and dad are best equipped to provide this form of comfort.

11.        Tolerance of parental input:  Ean was more tolerant of sensory input from mom or dad than he was with myself.  I was unable to elicit a laugh from Ean when tickling his belly.  However, when mom and dad tickled his belly he laughed.  Ean clearly felt safer with mom and dad engaging him.  This observation adds to the reality that Ean will be learning the most from his parents at this time in his developmental process.

12.        Trust:  Ean was more likely to laugh when mom tickled him than when either dad or I did.  This is a sign of trust with mom in this area of development.  Mom can use tickling to guide Ean’s emotions.  When Ean got upset over silly things she was able to give him a little tickle to let him know that he was OK and that what he was upset about was not a big deal.

13.        Movement and language:  Trying to use language to move Ean’s body is difficult.  Moving Ean’s body when opening the refrigerator and putting away the juice was powerful.  Moving Ean helps him organize.  Talking while you are moving his body puts language on top of movement making it much easier for Ean to learn the meaning of the words and their functional use.

14.        Trust:  Ean has developed a lot of trust with falling to sleep with dad.  When mom tries to get Ean to fall asleep Ean will resist and mom lets him go.  Sleeping is one of the biggest transitions a child makes all day.  The ease of transition into sleep requires that Ean feel emotionally safe.  Being strict (keeping Ean in one place until he falls asleep) in this setting helps Ean learn to trust that he will be safe.  When Ean is frightened he tries to distract himself.  Ean needs to rely on his relationship to aide him into sleep.  Mom needs to be sure that she is a stronger, wiser and kind force in order for Ean to trust her in transitioning to.

a.        Ean trusts mom in every other situation above anyone else.  When Ean was frightened by stimuli he looked to mo for comfort.  When Ean was shy about saying goodbye he looked to mom for support.  Dad needs to watch Ean’s reaction to stimuli and try to slow down.  Too much stimuli too fast creates chaos and Ean disengages.  Dad has great ideas, but needs to stick with them longer without trying to get Ean to perform.

oy

谢谢你的分享。

我很好奇，ConnectorRx是什么东西？好像很有用。有它的图片吗？

Ean妈妈

就是俩根皮带，一头绑这妈妈或者爸爸，一头绑这小孩，中间的绳子有一臂之长。如果你还想看说一声，我给拍张照。

LittleKoala

Ean妈妈：仔细看了Eric写的记录，观察得真仔细，建议的很到位，这真经是取回来了，钱没有白花。有些好的建议我们也借鉴了。

Ean妈妈

"上帝在造我们时，把我们当成一只只苹果，每只苹果都是不同的，上帝对某些苹果会特别偏爱-----他越看越喜爱，会忍不住要咬上一口。我知道，儿子被咬了一大口。虽然，儿子被咬得残缺了，但是，他身体上留下了上帝的香味。他真的好可爱。
我愿意坚守这个信念：
上帝曾经这么喜欢他，一定不会遗弃他。（
"之所以上帝给了我们富足、给了我们温馨的家、给了我们善良的心，是因为他将要把他最喜爱的那个苹果交给我们照顾。"
乐乐妈妈的贴里的，让我感激自己拥有的。

melon

写的很好！觉得他们真的有水平，提的建议很到位！

我们当年去耶鲁的时候也非常喜欢他们写的报告。看一遍根本不够，要经常拿出来读一读－－孩子的水平不同，你读报告的感受也是完全不同的。

看上去他们是有些facility来观察，测试孩子，是吗？