也无风雨也无晴

豪妈妈

第一次看到这个网站，希望自己能和你们一样，将宝宝教育成人！
向你们学习！有好的方法请告诉我，谢谢！
宝宝现在在正规的幼儿园上学，但很不理想，老师都不理他。我想利用早晨和晚上的时间自己培训他，因为我和你们不一样，我的工资是一家人的开销，所以工作不能辞。

vivian

下面引用由熹儿妈妈发表的内容：

正想向嘟嘟妈和勤儿妈打听，国外的脱敏方法是怎能样的，因我刚看了一个报到，中国已多家医院开展新的脱敏法，以前是针剂，而现在是有一种舌下滴服剂，为患者减轻痛苦．据说此种治疗已在国外开展多年．而制剂方面有针对花粉也有针对尘螨的．

先要告诉熹儿妈妈我疏忽了一件事,脱敏治疗一般是要五岁以后才可以做.因为考虑给勤儿做治疗时他已经五岁了,就忘了这重要的一点,真是该打.另外,决定治疗前要先检查孩子的身体状况是否适合.脱敏治疗一般要从这年春天开始,熹儿如果决定治疗至少要等到明年春天.

我们这儿的脱敏方法有两种方法:针剂疗法有七十几年的历史了,舌下滴服疗法是从九十年代初开始使用的.舌下滴服疗法要求把滴服液含在舌下两分钟才可咽下,如果不能严格遵守这一条,那么效果基本没有.勤儿无法做到这一点,所以我们只能选择针剂疗法.另外,勤儿的治疗师告诉我,今年开始可以使用另一个方法,糖块含化疗法,要求把药剂糖块放在嘴里含化,不可以咬碎. 因为勤儿做不到,所以没有详细询问这种治疗方法,下个月去勤儿的治疗师哪儿我再打听一下.

我个人的经验和所听到的反馈,感觉针剂疗法效果最好,但对抗拒打针的孩子确实不是件愉快的事.勤儿很怕打针,所以每次都会很紧张.舌下滴服剂可以减轻患者的痛苦,据统计效果也越来越好.

脱敏治疗的整个疗程是三到五年.尘螨脱敏要求全年治疗,而花粉脱敏治疗是在过敏季节前后做半年的治疗.针剂治疗,开始两个月要求每个礼拜注射一次,药剂量逐次增大,接下来是每一个半月到两个月注射一次维持剂量,每次注射后要在医生哪儿观察一刻钟到半小时,以防发生严重的过敏反应.舌下滴服疗法,是每天清晨空腹服用,药剂量在半个月内逐渐增到最大量,接下来是每天或每两天服用维持剂量.脱敏治疗需要有经验的医师制定治疗方案,他会根据孩子治疗反应来不断调整药剂量.

希望这些信息能回答你的问题.

熹儿妈妈

太感谢了,介绍得非常详细,你们九十年代就已经有我们现在才说的舌下含服啊,原来技术要求也这么高,怪不得这边医生轻易不做,香港那边压根就不做,而舌下脱敏在广东也只有广州中山附一院才有得做.我已经把你的贴子收藏下来了.

kwenma2

天使妈妈和Vivian：不知你们对HEPA空气净化器了解吗？也许考虑一下HEPA空气净化器，它对过敏和空气中的Pollen， Mold等都有一定的作用。

vivian

kwenma,谢谢你的介绍.我们家的抽地机使用的是HEPA过滤器,空气净化器没注意过,下次询问一下勤儿医生的看法.

女儿是天使

多谢vivian和kwenma2留下的珍贵信息。
嘟嘟的湿疹已经好了许多，不影响日常生活和睡眠，外观也恢复得不错，好像没有传说中的那么难弄呢。
我打算先放自己一马，再观察一阵儿。时间和精力，真是有限啊。
楼上的豪妈妈，不容易呀。

最近有点抽不开身，很少能看到嘟嘟的训练，还好老师们有比较详细的每日小结，他们的会议记录也会电邮给我一份。昨天的训练师玉写到嘟嘟有很多的笑容，很主动的肢体交流，还自己钻进玉的怀里玩儿，把玉高兴坏了。

禁了可乐和巧克力，嘟嘟的情绪好极了，她也好像忘了可乐这个东西，但每天都会有几次去冰箱寻找她的“小企鹅”。嘟嘟不大喜欢喝奶，但喜欢吃固体奶，“小企鹅”是很受小朋友欢迎的冷冻固体奶外加一层巧克力皮，以前嘟嘟的巧克力都是从这里吸收的。

要不是这回的湿疹，也不知道嘟嘟还可以这样听话。给她涂油的时候说“手”就把手伸给我，说“脚”就把脚伸给我，让“躺下”就立马躺下。。。以前好像也从没机会在那么短的时间里做那么多听指令练习啊，原来她也都听得懂啊。要知道她在历经了中文、乌尔都语、英文之后，在几个月前才开始改听一点德文。能听成这个样子，我应该知足才对。

豪妈妈

谢谢嘟嘟妈妈的支持和鼓励！我也一定会坚持不懈的努力下去，陪伴着豪豪，也让豪豪陪伴着我，你们的一句话让我很有感触：我们能活到１００岁，宝宝就能活到７０岁．

想到这句话，觉得有为豪豪好好活着的目标了．

谢谢你们！

蜜橙妈妈

嘟嘟妈妈，我们橙子和嘟嘟真是难兄难妹，这边我才建议你试试什么“固元膏”，今天上午我们橙子确诊为湿疹感染，右脚肿得厉害，吓坏了我。看来我做“固元膏”势在必行啊。

女儿是天使

蜜橙妈妈，那固元膏吃了能立刻见效吗？橙子肯吃吗？王子妈妈说的肤乐霜试过没？盼望着橙子快快好起来。发了悄悄话给你。

嘟嘟现在表现出了对玩具的兴趣萌芽。别人玩的时候会看一看，自己有时也能主动去玩，但时间短。接下来，我们的ABA小组准备把更多的时间和精力放在“玩”上了。

嘟嘟最近有个不好的行为，把东西仍到地上用脚踢。趁机我们把教她踢球列入训练的备选项目，并制定了具体的计划。我们做示范，然后发出口令“该你了”，希望她能模仿我们踢球。

教孩子玩不是正式的discrete trial，孩子无所谓做的正确还是错误。我们还有一些其它的选项，要看她对什么有兴趣。如果她积极照做，给与强化，如果她不感兴趣，我们也可以多次示范，可以辅助，但总之不勉强她，不同于之前做的物体模仿。

已经掌握的物体模仿却可以拿来用。比如物体模仿中有一个在轨道上推火车的动作，我们可以利用她掌握的这个动作教她在地上开火车。

在《A WORK IN PROGRESS》里有一段很关键的话：It generally is advantageous to introduce play in an informal, "playful" manner, such as on the floor. However, it may be necessary to begin with a more structured teaching approach at the table.Besides reducing possible distractions, it may accelerate acquisition of play and better familiarize the child with the basic steps involved in a play activity. Instructional procedures will include demonstration, role playing and differential feedback. Once basic skills are learned in a more structured discrete trial approach, the child should continue to practice and develop skills in the most natural setting and most natural manner possible.

我现在想，ABA这种方法真的很适合象嘟嘟这样的自闭症孩子。如果不用桌面教学的方式，他们根本不会玩，也没有兴趣玩。ABA帮助他们学习玩，最终的目的是让他们离开桌面，到地面上去玩，到生活中去玩。在这一点上，地板时光和ABA其实是殊途同归的。如果有的孩子从一开始就能和他人在地板上玩耍和互动，无疑是很棒的，应该继续下去。对嘟嘟这样的孩子，却还需要一个从桌面到地面的过程。

ABA认为，玩是非常重要的技能，它的最大的好处之一是促进语言的发展。稍后陆续贴一些《A WORK IN PROGRESS》里的内容上来，满足希望看到原文的朋友。如有高手将中文译出来不胜感激。

女儿是天使

Play And Social Skills

Play and social skills are among the most important siklls your child needs to learn. The quality of your child's life will improve dramatically through play and social connections.Deficiencies in these areas often lead to isolation, boredom and even depression. Being able to play with other children in a meaningful way will increase your child's happiness and provide him with a vehicle to learn important lessons about the world and how to get along with people as well as help abstract cognitive skills. As described below, there are many other benefits to teaching social and play skills.

[U]FACILITATION OF LANGUAGE[/U]

Children's language development can be effectively stimulated through play and social skills. We usually see at least as much development of language through play and social skills as through structured therapy. Structured therapy is certainly an important part of the process but goes together with carefully enjineered play and social activities to make a complete program.

Children are far more inclined to vocalize when they are relaxed and having fun. Speech and approximations of speech occur more readily on a swing in the pool or jumping on a trampoline than when they are in a 1:1 teaching situation. Conducting overly structured discrete trials in a chair may actually inhibit language. Consequently, we suggest starting verbal imitation in a playful situation. It may be advisable to begin with Communication Temptations (please refer to "Curriculum") in unstructured environments.

Language is developed far more naturally through social interaction and play. Children learn from other children how to speak naturally and childlike. Adults teaching language to children often produce adult sounding language. For example, in response to the question, "How old are you?", children are sometimes taught to say, "four years old" or "I am four years old." Although this is a polite answer, it is far too formal and not how children typically respond. Three-year-olds do not even give a verbal answer; they simply hold up three fingers. Four-year-olds will hold up four fingers and say "four." Older children answer this question by simply giving the number (e.g., "five", "ten", etc.). Such non-child responses make the child sound unnatural and can sometimes complicate the integration process.

thankstoyilin

应“天使”的要求，我把上面一贴的英文翻译成了中文。如下：

Play And Social Skills

游戏和社会性能力

游戏和社会性能力，是我们的孩子需要掌握的最重要的能力之一。孩子的生活质量，将会因游戏互动和社会性交往而得到极大的提升，而这方面能力的缺损，常常会让孩子感到孤独、无聊甚至消沉。如果孩子能够用有意义的方式和别的孩子一起玩，就能使孩子更加快乐，让他能够有一个途径来认知这个世界，懂得如何和他人交往，也能帮助他提高抽象认知能力。正如下面所说的，教会孩子这方面的能力，还有另外的诸多好处。

有助于语言的发展

通过游戏和社会性能力的提升，可以有效地激发孩子的语言发展。我们时常可以看到，通过面向游戏和社会性能力提升的方式来发展孩子的语言，其效果至少不逊于结构化的疗法。结构化疗法自然是整个训练过程中很重要的组成部分，但从一个完整的训练计划来说，应该和经过精细设计的游戏及社会活动结合起来。

孩子们总是更容易在放松的状态下、玩得开心的状态下发出语言来。孩子在波波池里晃荡的时候，或者是在蹦床上跳的时候，相比于一对一的教学状态下，是更容易出语言（或者是类似语言的声音）的。坐在小椅子上用过于结构化的分离测试教学方式（这是指ABA的discrete trial，------thankstoyilin注），事实上还有可能抑制孩子的语言。所以，我们建议在游戏的状态下来启发孩子的语言模仿。建议在非结构化的情境下，从所谓的“诱发交流”（请参考“课程设置”部分）方式开始训练。

通过社会性交往和游戏，能够更加自然地发展语言能力。孩子可以从同伴那儿学到如何自然而然地说孩子气的语言。大人教孩子说话，往往会“大人腔”。比如，回答“你几岁了？”这个问题的时候，大人有时候会教孩子说“有四岁了”或者“我今年四岁了。”虽然这个回答显得很有礼貌，但显得过于正式，而且也不是普通孩子一般的回答方式。3岁的孩子还压根儿就不吭声，伸出三个手指头就完事儿了。四岁的孩子或许会伸出四个手指头，说“四岁”。再大点儿的孩子一般也简单地给个数字（比方说“5岁”、“10岁”）。这种成人化的回答方式会让孩子的语言听起来不自然，而且有时候还使孩子融入群体的过程更加复杂化。

thankstoyilin

顺手也把“天使”认为重要的那段话也翻译一下吧：

It generally is advantageous to introduce play in an informal, "playful" manner, such as on the floor. However, it may be necessary to begin with a more structured teaching approach at the table.Besides reducing possible distractions, it may accelerate acquisition of play and better familiarize the child with the basic steps involved in a play activity. Instructional procedures will include demonstration, role playing and differential feedback. Once basic skills are learned in a more structured discrete trial approach, the child should continue to practice and develop skills in the most natural setting and most natural manner possible.

译文如下：

用一种“好玩的”、非正式的方式来引导孩子做游戏，一般而言总是有好处的，比如就在地板上玩一些游戏。但是，一开始的时候，或许还是得进行一些结构化的桌面教学方式。这种方式一方面可以减少让孩子分神的因素，也可以更快地让孩子掌握游戏方法，让孩子熟悉游戏活动中包含的步骤。这样的教学过程可以包括示范、角色扮演以及差异化的反馈形式。当孩子通过这种结构化的分离测试教学模式（就是指ABA的discrete trial，----Thankstoyilin注）掌握了基本能力之后，孩子才可以在更自然一些的场景中，用更自然的方式来继续练习游戏，拓展能力。


Thankstoyilin注：
   同意“天使”认为这几段话的重要。这些原则和其他能力的教学是一样的，比如语言教学。孩子的能力就是得一点点先构建最基础的东西，然后才能在上面添砖加瓦，逐步完善提高。

女儿是天使

多谢版主的支持和帮助。T版就是T版，读T版翻译的文字是享受。

是啊，ZC在236楼里说：“感觉上训练师是为了训练而训练，本应该生动的学习过程反而被弄得枯燥无味，然后还得想办法在生活中泛化。孩子本来就应该在生活中学习。”这话真是没错，而嘟嘟这样的孩子欠缺的恰恰是在生活中学习的能力。ABA的教学模式帮助他们先构建最基础的东西，为的是让他们能够在日常的生活中学会观察，提高在生活中学习的能力。使孩子具备一定的游戏和社会性能力的另一个好处正是 INCIDENTAL LEARNING。

在这个章节里，特别提到的是，自闭症孩子往往在结构化的情境下注意力更集中，这使得训练者不情愿跟孩子在不那么结构化的状态下工作。然而，如果不尽早摆脱这样的局面，情况只会变得更糟，对孩子的长期发展是个阻碍。孩子必须要尽早的适应在更自然的场景中学习。这样才能使孩子更成功的融入到群体中。

在嘟嘟刚开始ABA的时候，我们的目的是让她能适应关起门来在训练间和老师有效的进行一对一训练。现在她已经喜欢上了桌面教学，常常很主动的去到桌边。这时候我们的训练组开始有意识的让她离开桌面，离开训练间，准备尝试在开放的客厅跟她做一些项目。与此同时，另一方面，也努力使她在坐下的时候，能坐得更久一点。

女儿是天使

提高孩子的游戏和社交能力，使孩子融入到同龄人中的再一个好处是SOCIAL REINFORCEMENT。
下面的文字描述了同龄孩子所起的重要作用。

Perhaps one of the biggest benefits of social skills training is the importance that peers assume. Peers will become a significant influence for your child, often far more powerful than adults. We have often found that peers can stop inappropriate behavior faster, more effectively and far more naturally than teachers can. Additionally, their consequences are much less contrived. Adults tend to sound therapeutic (e.g.,"Use your words," "You are not being a good friend," "Are you feeling angry?", etc.), while children will be far more direct, politically incorrect, natural and effective (e.g., "Don't do that!", "Give it to me!," "That's weird!," etc.). Their actions can also provide effective natural consequences such as taking a toy back.

With time your child will develop a desire to please his peers. This is a crucial hurdle in the intervention process. It exemplifies the process of internalizing the desire to learn. Peers will come to be natural supports for appropriate behaviors. Consequently, generalization is far more likely to occur. Adult monitoring subsequently becomes less necessary. We have found integration substantially more successful when peers are viewed as important by the autistic child.

thankstoyilin

呵呵，“天使”每日一段给我home work，我看到这些文字的确也比较有益，就翻译出来吧。下面是“天使”上一帖英文内容的翻译：

可以这样说，孩子社会性能力训练最大的好处，可以通过同龄伙伴的重要性体现出来。相比于成年人而言，小伙伴给予孩子的影响会大得多。我们时常会发现，孩子们往往会比训练老师更加迅速而有效地阻止一些不恰当的行为，因此从结果上看反倒是显得不那么有设计的痕迹。大人的指令时常会显得有那么点儿“治疗味儿”（比如“你要用嘴巴讲”“你这样就不是个好朋友的样儿了”“你觉得恼火吗？，等等），而孩子们的话要更加直截了当，虽然从礼貌角度看不是那么得体，但显然更加自然有效（比如“这样不行！”“给我！”“真恶心!”,等等）。这些行为也能够造成更加自然的效果，比如直接就把玩具夺回来。

随着时间的推移，孩子会逐渐懂得如何取悦于他的小伙伴。这在干预训练的过程中是一个关键的坎儿，因为这是一个把心理需求内化的学习过程。小伙伴将会给孩子形成得体行为的过程中起到一个自然而言的支持作用，因此也更容易使这些能力得到泛化。在这种情况下，大人的监护就显得不那么必要了。我们已经观察到，当把伙伴对于自闭儿的作用看得比较重要的情况下，融合训练往往会更有实质性的成果。

女儿是天使

T版，万万不敢给您homework。但下面的这部分内容就更有益了，特别是对那些误解ABA较深的和不敢让孩子玩，争分夺秒教认知的训练者们。T版周末的时候要是“顺手”，就也给翻了吧：-）

RESISTANCE TO TEACHING SOCIAL AND PLAY SKILLS

If you are feeling resistant to the notion of devoting a great deal of teaching time and effort to play and social skills, you are not alone! The majority of parents do not view this as a priority and qestion the importance. These are comments we hear frequently:

"I am more concerned right now with getting him to speak"
"Once he has language then we can work on social skills"
"I don't want to take any time away from speech and academics"
"My other children don't have lots of friends so why should my autistic child?"

As discussed above, the answer to these objections is that play is an important avenue for enhancing language and learning in general. Additionally, although not all people are social, nearly everyone learns from observing social interactions. Therefore, it is essential that your child have an opportunity to learn this way as well! In terms of priority, we see play as paramount.

Another big reason why there may be so much resistance to working on play is that it is extremely difficult to teach these behaviors. Unlike language and academic skills, where you can develop a structured curriculum, teaching play and social skills requires far more flexibility.

The specific play and social skills you teach will largely be based upon the skills of the target group of peers. Therefore, we cannot give you a specific curriculum of play and social skills. (举例说明了不同国家不同地域的孩子玩的东西不同，省略）

Similar to toy play, social behaviors differ just as widely as toy play. For example, how children initiate peer interaction varies widely. Whereas most adults teach children to approach and ask "do you want to play with me?", this in reality is not the way most normal interaction occurs. In some areas, children simply play next to a child and then gradually incorporate themselves into the play. Often children simply lead a new friend by the hand in order to facilitate social play. In some situations, children may simply make a comment as an initiation (e.g., "I have a toy like that" ) or ask a question (e.g., "where did you get that?"). No one way is better, there are just a variety of ways that children typically instigate social play. Thus, it is crucial to identify the way children play in your neighborhood.

Because of the tremendous variety of play and social behaviors, they are difficult skills to teach. Therefore, parents and teachers often fall back to the comfort of teaching more defined and structured skills. Although Discrete Trial Teaching techniques are used when teaching these skills, it requires far more creativity in its implementation.  One must be subtler in prompting and providing consequences, for example.  Additionally, it is extremely beneficial if the teacher possesses great play and social skills.

Perhaps one of the greatest sources of resistance is the feeling that the child's behaviors must be brought under control before play can be attempted. Behavior problems become much more evident in the less structured setting of play and social interaction. Naturally, this is not a good reason to avoid teaching these skills. In fact, it is just the reason to work on it. Additionally, it is essential to address behavior problems in all situations!!!

One final reason we have heard for postponing teaching these skills is the argument that children need language for social skills. Certainly language is helpful, but it is not essential. All one has to do is go to a park where children from different cultures are playing. You will quickly see that they are able to play beautifully even though they do not speak the same language. So go ahead and work hard on developing basic language and cognitive skills but do not delay getting started on play and socialization.

thankstoyilin

好顺手啊，我这会在老家呢，在等大姐来车子一起去扫墓的间隙就顺手翻完了。如下：

[U]对游戏和社会性交往能力教学的抵触心理[/U]

如果你对化大量的教学时间在提高游戏和社会性交往能力这个方面感到抵触的话，不是只有你才有这个想法！大多数家长不觉得这个是需要优先安排的，并且会质疑它的重要性。下面是我们时常会听到的一些说法：

“我眼下更关心他开口说话”
“只要他语言出来了，我们就可以教他社会性能力了”
“我不想去侵占语言和学业教学的时间”
“我其他的孩子都不太有很多小伙伴，我这个自闭的孩子怎么就得要？”

正如上面讨论到的，对这些反对意见的回复是，一般来讲，游戏是提高孩子语言和学习能力的一个重要途径。另外，尽管不是所有人都是善于交往的，但是差不多每个人都从观察社会交往行为中学到东西。所以，你的孩子也必不可少地应该得到这样的学习机会！从学习重要性的角度来看，我们把游戏能力看作是头等大事儿。

这种抵触想法的另外一个重要原因是教孩子这些游戏行为是非常之困难的。在语言和学业技能的教学中我们可以制订出一些结构化的课程，与之相比，教孩子游戏和社会性能力则需要更大的灵活性。

我们要教孩子怎样的游戏和社会性能力，很大程度上得根据小伙伴的能力来定。所以，我们很难给出适合你孩子个体的教学课程（接下来举例说明了不同国家不同地域的孩子玩的东西不同，省略）

社会交往行为和玩具的玩法一样，也是千差万别的。比如，孩子发起交互行为的方式就有很大的差异。我们大人通常会教孩子通过征求伙伴的意见来发起交往，比如“你愿意和我一起玩吗？”事实上在绝大多数正常的情况下，这种问法都不会发生。在某些地方，孩子只不过就是挨着另一个孩子玩，逐渐地就融合起来了。孩子们也时常就简单拉着新伙伴的手就开始一个社会性的游戏了。在有些场合，孩子们只是简单做出一个评述，就算发起了一个交互行为（比如“我也有一个这样儿的玩具”）或者是问一个问题（比如“你这个玩具从哪儿来的？”）。不能说哪一种方式更好，只是说这些都是孩子们通常用来鼓动伙伴进行一个交互行为的方式。所以，去观察你们邻居的孩子怎么个玩法的，这一点很重要。

正因为游戏和社会性行为是非常非常多样化的，所以教起来就比较困难。所以，家长和老师们时常会退一步从教会孩子更加具体和结构化的能力上得到一些抚慰。虽然ABA的分离测试教学方式在教孩子这些技能的时候也是会用到的，但是在具体的实施过程中就需要更大的创造性，比如在向孩子发出提示性方面、给出行为回馈方面，需要更加细腻的考虑。当然了，如果老师有非常丰富的游戏和社会性能力教学经验，那就非常有利了。

可能另外一个抵触心理来自于大人觉得在孩子还不足以有能力进行交互性游戏之前，孩子的行为还得受到大人的控制。在不太结构化的游戏和社会性交往情境下，孩子的行为问题更加突出。当然，这些都不成其为回避这方面教学的理由，恰恰相反，这正是需要教的理由。并且更为重要的是，应该在所有场景下去正视和处理孩子的行为问题。

我们听到的另外一种觉得可以把这方面能力推迟一些来教的理由是，孩子的社会性交往需要用到语言。当然，语言是有助益的，但不是必需的。你们大家只要去公园里看看来自不同文化背景的孩子怎么在玩儿的情形就可以了。你很快就会发现，尽管他们说着不同的语言，但是玩得好极了。所以，在推进基本语言和认知能力教学的同时，也要及时启动游戏和社会性交往能力的训练。

女儿是天使

ABA把提高游戏能力看成头等大事。ABA从不否认玩的重要。那其它的训练方法也重视玩啊，它们有怎样的不同呢？正在做RDI的“快乐小鱼”说：“RDI是游戏。错，非常错。RDI是一个人际互动。”那么地板时光呢，比较服从孩子的兴趣。而ABA的目的性是极强的，它明确的直接要达到的现实效果是使孩子融入同龄人。玩符合孩子年纪的，玩符合孩子性别的，玩同龄伙伴所玩的，是ABA训练游戏能力的特色。ABA反对大人想当然的去“认为”孩子喜欢什么，不喜欢什么，这样做的后果是限制了孩子游戏能力的发展。ABA行为训练的目的正是要扩展孩子的兴趣。尽管发展孩子这方面的能力是需要一些时间的，但这正是我们应该做的。事实也证明很多孩子先学会了某种玩法，才喜欢上了。不是吗？

[U]AGE APPROPRIATE[/U]. One objective in teaching play is to give your child the skills that will lead to an increase in social play with peers. Therefore, it is essential to choose play that is typical for his age group. Although his abilities may not, as yet, be commensurate with his chronological age, we still suggest choosing toys that come as close as possible to his chronological age. In most circumstances, a child will be able to learn some level of age-appropriate skills regardless of his current developmental functioning. Playing with toys that are associated with a much younger age can have the effect of stigmatizing children and interfering with acceptance by peers. The selection of play items can also impact self-esteem and the maturity level to which the child aspires. Age-appropriateness also applies to other issues such as clothes, back packs, lunch boxes, haircuts, general appearance and interests. Appearance and level of play can subtly influence how adults view and interact with the child. You want to ensure that all teachers and caregivers have appropriately high expectations, giving himcredit for being capable and mature.
The best way to determine age-appropriateness is to simply watch what toys other children are using. Naturally, a good method is asking children and their parents what their favorite toys are. You can also go to a toy store and ask or read on the toy what the recommended ages are.

[U]GENDER APPROPRIATE.[/U] This can be a controversial topic since today's society is generally much more accepting of children playing with all defferent toys. While playing with dolls or in a toy kitchen used to be primarily thought of as "girls" toys or activities, many boys engage in such play today. Similarly, girls being involved in rough play and sports is quite common. Despite society's increased enlightenment regarding this topic, we still need to be cautious and aware of the toys and activities that are more likely to be used by your child's peers, so that integration is facilitated.

[U]PEER [/U][U]APPROPRIATE.[/U] Although a toy or activity may be age and gender appropriate, that alone does not guarantee that it would be a toy that your child's peers typically play with. Peer appropriate means that a toy or play activity is likely to be accepted by the peers your child will be socializing with. In order to maximize the opportunity for integration, you should also look at what toys his peers are playing with. Otherwise, the probability of social play is greatly reduced.

何子

真是好贴。

thankstoyilin

有的老外写东西也未免行文比较啰嗦（这不是贬义，他们往往写得很全）。所以上一帖的文字中，第一点我全部翻译，后面两点简单提一下，把意思讲明白就行了。

[U]适龄的考虑[/U]
教孩子做游戏的一个目标，是让孩子具备游戏能力，促进他和同伴的社会性游戏交往。所以就必须得选择适合他这个年龄段的典型游戏。尽管他的能力还没有达到适龄的程度，但是我们还是建议选择尽量接近他生理年龄的玩具。在大多数情况下，不论孩子的发展程度如何，他还是能达到一些适龄的游戏水平的。相对太低幼的玩具会造成孩子过于幼稚的印记，影响同伴对他的接纳。同样，选择太简单的游戏项目也会影响每一个孩子都会希求的自尊和成熟度。适龄这个要点，也要贯彻在诸如服饰、背包、午餐盒、发型、外形和兴趣爱好等方面。孩子的外形和游戏层次会微妙地影响到大人对孩子的印象，也会影响到和他的交互方式。你要让所有的老师和看护者保持对孩子恰当的高期望值，也给孩子一种会变得更能干更成熟的信心。

判断是否适龄的最好方式，就是看看其他小朋友是在玩什么玩具。所以，可以去问问其他孩子和家长最喜欢什么样的玩具。你也可以去玩具店去咨询，也可以看看玩具的推荐年龄段。

[U]性别的考虑[/U]
现在不论男孩女孩都在玩差不多的游戏，我们只是提醒大家注意选择那些孩子的小伙伴们玩得更多的游戏，这样有利于孩子的群体融入。

[U]“适合同伴”的考虑[/U]
处理年龄适合和性别适合之外，更主要的是要考虑孩子的小伙伴们一般在玩些什么，他们愿意玩什么。