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re:当孩子步入成人阶段,其实包括语言等各方面...
当孩子步入成人阶段,其实包括语言等各方面的能力都有不同程度的提高,也许情绪管理就成为一个很重要的试金石。下面一段是一位成人ASD的自述,最后提到自己的情绪还是很难控制容易发怒等情况。其实他已经能独立生活工作,最后还成了家,依我们大家的标准就是摘帽走出自闭症人士,更何况大多数ASD恐怕连独立生活都不容易,所以说情绪控制的确是重中之重。
I live in Oakville and am presently employed at Sheridan College, working on the telephone switchboard. I have lived a challenging life, dealing with many hardships in many different situations, being different for unknown reasons, and unable to mesh smoothly into society. Ultimately, they were all learning experiences.
As a child, I did many things repeatedly. One thing I used to do was move a toy car back and forth on the table for a long period of time. My repetitions became rituals, and they always had to be followed through. Otherwise, I became very upset.
A major problem with me as a child was my temper tantrums. I easily became upset when things did not work out the way I anticipated. I was irritated by situations that included my rituals being broken, transitions between activities, being disciplined, being ridiculed and disapproved of, being left out, and having to end a pleasurable activity. I threw those fits simply to express my feelings of displeasure, hoping that people would cooperate with me, but it never worked.
Hypersensitivity created unusual fears for me as a child. I was often traumatized by unexpected or excessive noise. Sleeping was also a problem for me throughout my childhood. I had nightmares very often.
I was extremely hypersensitive to taste and very picky about food. There were only a few foods that I loved as a child. My parents were strict about making certain that all our dinner was finished, so suppertime was often a bad time for me.
I was also hypersensitive to touch and, therefore, very sensitive to pain. When I was really little, I used to get so uncomfortable and resist whenever my mother washed my face. Going to see my family doctor was a major ordeal to my parents and me. Some of my doctor’s methods of checking me were very uncomfortable. In my early years, visits to the doctor were the worst times in my life.
I had some accomplishments and displayed talent as a child. In Grade 3, at the age of eight, I created a pastel mural of The Cat in the Hat which impressed my teacher and all of my classmates. This art piece was taped on the window of our classroom door for the entire school to see. My drawing skills became the one thing that my peers complimented me about.
Throughout my life, but especially as a child, I have been fascinated by things that were superficial to other people. I used to be mesmerized by windshield wipers in motion, and I used to always stare at running fans. The basement of our home was my entertainment centre as a child. I would watch our sump pump, inspect our furnace, and observe the actions of our washer and dryer.
One hobby of mine as a child was making inspections to fulfill my interests. Whenever we visited friends, I would go through their basement looking for items of interest. I often called on neighbours, asking to see their basement utilities and laundry appliances. Some people knew me well and gladly complied, while some were unpleasant, telling me to get lost and slamming their doors in my face. I must have been quite the pest.
I drove many people crazy, talking only about my interests. Other children did not want to socialize with me, since they were unimpressed about how I was turned on by these interests.
I was an extreme introvert throughout my life, especially as a child. As a toddler, I objected to excessive interaction with people outside of my family. I was extremely shy and became uncomfortable whenever people acknowledged me.
Throughout elementary school, I had no desire to socialize with other children. When people called on me, I would either turn them down or hide someplace.
I was intimidated by the responsibility of entertaining other people and I needed time and space to myself. I preferred to watch TV or live in a make-believe world at home.
I have been an avid daydreamer ever since I was a child. I developed a highly complex fantasy world for myself. My fantasy world was perfect. Everything was the way I wanted it to be, providing me an escape from the hardships of reality.
My fantasies continued and evolved as I became a teenager, but their purpose remained the same. I lived the customized life that I wanted to live, escaping from the real world. I fantasized about the things that I always wanted, which included being popular, owning a car, and having a girlfriend. I always fantasized about the future, optimistically hoping my life would change for the better.
Fantasizing allowed me to forget about the stressful times.
Since I’ve entered adulthood, I have outgrown my fantasy world. However, during idle times I tend to drift off into thought; it's something that happens to everybody. It’s the optimistic thoughts that keep me going.
I was misunderstood as a child. I was thought to be a lazy child since I was unable to understand, exercise motivation, and have a sense of responsibility. Nearly all of my time was spent fantasizing and watching TV, and everything else had little priority for me.
Whenever my parents asked me to do anything, I would complain and argue, often causing a confrontation. That’s an example of unwanted transitions; I had a hard time accepting being interrupted in order to participate in a task
School was a major problem for me during my growing years. I faced severe difficulties with my studies and ultimately had an extreme dislike of school. I was intimidated by the workloads, peer pressure, and treatment from teachers. I was unable to pay attention in class, and often couldn’t bring myself to do my homework. The teachers added to the problem, chastising me on a regular basis. I certainly hope that our school system has evolved since those times.
One of my biggest problems in school was with peer relationships. I was unable to gain social skills and my peers noticed that I was behind. My mannerisms were quirky so they always mimicked me and since I struggled in school my peers considered me to be stupid. I had eccentric interests and was considered to be weird. Since my personal hygiene was inconsistent, I was considered to be a slob.
My reputation in school made me totally unattractive to girls. I was attracted to many different girls but I only ended up heartbroken. In my early adult years I tried joining extracurricular activities in the hope of meeting girls but there were never any in my age group. It took me until mid-adulthood to finally find a significant other.
I received counseling many times throughout my life. When I was six years old, I saw a child psychiatrist. Autism was not well known in the 1970s and this doctor came to the conclusion that I was highly intelligent but lacked motivation. I saw this doctor for many years and as time went on he became impatient with me. I was not progressing to maturity; I was still living in a fantasy world and struggling with my studies. If things did not improve immediately, he advised my parents to send me to military school. As a result, I lived my childhood in fear and intimidation. When I was a teenager, I was severely stressed about my problems. I saw a guidance counselor who did not have a major effect on my life but he was a person for me to talk to. He tried to boost my self-esteem and give me advice on social skills and ways to minimize stress. Occasionally throughout my life, I entered periods of severe depression for no apparent reason. The worst thing about depression was the mystery of it and not being able to understand why it was happening. While suffering from depression, I regularly saw a psychiatrist who prescribed antidepressants. Once I was diagnosed with autism, the mystery was gone and I began to see things in better perspective. And after a few years, I no longer needed psychiatric care.
Employment was a complicated issue for me as a teenager. My first job was in a distribution warehouse when I was 17. I first thought it was like high school, but then I quickly realized it was much tougher. I often came in late, like I did in school, but got severely reprimanded. I was also unable to comprehend instructions and they often became very impatient with me. I was constantly pressured to keep up the pace, which often fluctuated. It was a very rough way for me to be introduced to the work force. After I graduated high school, I was extremely reluctant to have a job since it was far beyond my comfort zone. I preferred to be at home. I began my employment at Sheridan College when I was 19. I quickly became accustomed to the job and began to enjoy the work. Nobody was overly demanding of me and the duties were all straightforward. This became a very familiar place for me, and I got to know and like many of the people there.
In the early 1990s, my parents retired and allowed my brothers and me to rent the family home. Even though I was living in the house that my parents owned, the one that I was raised in, I was officially living on my own. I had no problem adjusting to it, and I handled all of the responsibilities with minimal difficulties. This became proof that I could look after myself with no special guidance or supervision. This was the time that I became an adult.
I continued to experience some difficulties during my adulthood. A major problem that I had to deal with was my lack of self-esteem. In the years before my diagnosis I could not figure out what was wrong with me and I blamed myself. There were times when I felt so low that I became physically sick. My condition was finally discovered when I was in my 20s. One day my brother was watching a talk show on autism and he noticed that many of the characteristics described matched my own. He sent for a transcript of the show and with that information I was finally referred to a psychiatrist in Hamilton who confirmed that I had Asperger syndrome. With this knowledge, a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. I no longer blamed myself for my challenges. This was the turning point in my life.
Today, I feel that I have come a long way. I live independently and work a full-time job. I handle all of my responsibilities and can do anything that any neurotypical adult can do. In many ways, I am just like anybody else. I still experience some difficulties due to my challenges. I am an exceptionally sensitive person and can become easily hurt when involved in a personal confrontation. My temper is a major problem for me. I still lose it easily whenever I am inconvenienced in any way. My self-esteem also hits its lows at times. I am very hypersensitive to sound and have difficulty accepting transitions. I prefer to be notified in advance about any changes and I still prefer my solitude much of the time. I do not mean to instill any pessimism in anyone. I am simply sharing all of my experiences with you - negative and positive.
In recent years, I have developed a great interest in helping people on the autism spectrum. Being on the spectrum and progressing as much as I have makes me a great asset. If I can be successful, there is a positive future for anybody on the autism spectrum. Fortunately, autism spectrum disorder is becoming recognized and understood, so today’s children on the spectrum have the major advantage of being properly treated and guided. My dream is to assist in giving these children the happy and fulfilling maturing years that I never had. I did not let my challenge defeat me, and I am determined not to let it defeat others! I do not look at ASD as a disability, but simply as a way of being.
-Gary Waleski
P.S. Since this account was written, the author has met and married a lovely woman. |
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