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美国的中国妈妈谈自闭症三
Cow,
Thanks. Yes, 他快乐就挺好。
But he is still young and I am still trying to help him as much as I can. Do not even imagine that he will be completely "normal", but hope that he can make a living in this world.
We do not push him much, that's school's job. We just give him a lot of love and patience. Home is the place he can just relax.
I have a few questions, if you do not mind. Since your nephew is older than my son, and he progress well, I'd like to learn what kind of therapy has he been on and if they are effective. My son has speech, OT, PT at school and I put him in a social play group therapy for a while too. The social play group doesn't help much, so I stopped it. I still wonder if something out there can help him more.
I do think that music has helped him in some ways that I can't explain. Like after he went to the park to play, came home could not tell me what he played, but wrote a piece "At the Park". After the "Nut Craker" show, couldn't tell me that he enjoy the show, but wrote a piece "Scarf Dance", since there was a real good dance--two women with huge scarfs.
You mentioned use all the resource---besides school, where else can I get more help? If your sister-in-law can give me some idea, I will be very thankful.
但他还那么小，我仍然在尽我所能地帮助他。我不敢想他能完全“正常”，但希望他能在这个世界上生存。
我们并不过多“推动”他什么，那是学校的工作。我们只是给他爱和耐心，家就是个他可以彻底放松下来的地方。
如果你不介意，我问几个问题。由于您的侄子年纪比我儿子大，且进步很大，我想了解他接受过什么样的治疗？疗效如何？我的儿子在学校作讲话／ＯＴ？／ PT治疗，我还带他参加了一段时间的社会群体治疗，但感觉没有多大作用，所以我就停了。我真不知道除了学校还有哪里可以帮助他。
音乐以某种方式对孩子很有帮助，但我无法解释原因。比如他游园归来，回家后没有办法告诉我他玩儿了什么，但却写了一首名为“在公园”的曲子；再比如欣赏过“胡桃夹子”，他不能告诉我他喜欢这样的节目，但是写了一首“丝巾舞”，因为真的有一场两位披着大丝巾的美女表演很棒的舞蹈。
你提到要利用所有的资源---除了学校，我可以从哪里得到更多的帮助呢？如果你的嫂子可以给我一些建议，我会很感激。
Suggest you try to social with families with kids at your son's age more, organize some activities with other families such as camping, going to the museum, fishing, swimming, skiing, traveling etc. Good Luck with your son!!
建议您尝试与你儿子的同龄孩子家庭多交往，组织一些与其他家庭一起的活动如露营，去博物馆，钓鱼，游泳，滑雪，旅游等，祝你儿子好运！
Re: 家有自闭儿
ShuiTian,
I will try that. He likes swimming and we do travel a lot. But I haven't try fishing and hiking yet. Will try these when the weather getting warm.
我会尽力一试的。他喜欢游泳， 我们也经常旅游。但是我还没钓鱼及远足。等天气暖和了再说。
Re: 家有自闭儿
Asked my sister-in-law, my nephew didn't have any therapy, just the mom did a lot work. She quitted her job since he was 1. Then they had 2 more children (8 yrs girl and 5 yrs boy).
When my nephew was young he was the darling of the family because he hardly ever cries, an easy and happy boy. He was very cute. Imaging a 3-year-old boy read book aloud by himself. My family has different opinions about how to bring him up. My other sister-in-law 2 and my mother-in-law think SIL 1 made too much fuss about the boy. The more you remind him he is different from other kids the more he would act differently. My SIL 1 disagrees. Now she takes him to whatever classes he's interested in even though it's an adult class such as cooking courses. He also takes drama and singing courses. In school he is in gifted program. Academically, he is way ahead of other kids in his age.
I used to be his favorite aunt. So every time I call the family, I would talk to him for a few minutes. I can talk to him just about anything including international politics. Some times I even had to prepare a bit before I pick up the phone.
Some scientists say autism is genetics, other say it's caused by trauma at birth. I believe more on the genetic side. My own son was very slow to talk. He had speech therapy. But he is very good with math.
问过我嫂子，我的侄子没有做任何治疗，只是妈妈做了大量工作。孩子一岁时她辞了职，然后，他们又生了两个孩子（8岁5岁的女孩和男孩）。当我的侄子还小时，他是家里的乖宝贝，因为他几乎没有哭过，又放松又快乐，可爱极了――――想像一下才3岁的男孩大声朗读的样子。我家对于如何养育他有截然不同的意见。我的另一位兄弟媳妇和我的婆婆觉得大媳妇对男孩的反应过于大惊小怪。你越提醒他的与众不同，他越是会有“不同”的行为。但大嫂不同意，现在她带他到任何他感兴趣的地方玩儿即使是参加成人学习班，比如烹饪课；他还曾经戏剧和歌唱课程。在学校，他是天才“班”的，学问方面，他远超过其他的同龄孩子。
我曾经是他最喜爱的姨妈。所以每一次我往家里打电话时都会和他聊上几分钟。我可以跟他任何谈论任何东西，包括国际政治。有时候我在电话前甚至要先做点功课才成。有些科学家说，自闭症是遗传的，另一些则认为这是由出生时的外伤引起。我相信，在遗传方面因素更多些，我自己的儿子说话也发展很慢，他在做言语治疗，但他的数学也非常好。
岩雨,
Thank you very much for your detailed explanations. My little boy's hearing is normal. He actually acts very much like what you described about your son (both fronts). The early intervention program specialist recommended Speech, Occupational and Physicscal therapies too. Further uation elimilated OT and PT. Later, the school district provided him with Speech and OT. They prefer the kids in the IEPs to receive as many kinds of services as they could provide and get fund for. I rarely heard anyone who took their kids for uations not qualified for an IEP.
After reading your newest posts and that of ChangShan's, I'm wondering what were the criteriers doctors used to diagnose your son or ChangShan's nephew with HFAC. I only can see that your son has weakness in interpersonal communications while he is very strong in music, math and reading. But he is only seven. He would catch up in that area when he is ready. I agree with a few friends in this thread that parents don't make too big of deals about their child's weakness. He needs confidence in socializing with other kids. In your examples, he could say like "my zipper" or "want sleepover", that would be sort of acceptable for his age factoring in a couple years of delay. My goal is to encourge my little boy to say short phases like that. Once he can master that, I think it is just a matter of time that he will catch up in this area. I do think it is up to us to simplify their "talking" tasks so that they gain their confidence in communicating.
非常感谢您的详细解释。我的小男孩的听力是正常的。事实上，他的行为很符合你对你的儿子的描述。早期干预计划专家建议对他进行语言治疗和理疗，并做进一步的评估。后来，学区提供了语音训练和理疗。但他们宁愿选择合乎全国教育计划的孩子，尽可能地多接收并提供多方面的服务，因为他们可以籍此获得基金支持。我很少听到有谁带孩子评估后的结果是不符合ＩＥＰ的。
读过您和常山的新贴，我想知道医生用于诊断你的儿子和常山侄子为高功能自闭症的标准是什么。我只看到你的儿子在人际沟通有些弱点，但他在音乐，数学和阅读方面很强。他才7岁，当他准备好的时候他一定会迎头赶上的。我同意这一主题中几个朋友的看法――――家长不要对自己孩子的弱点过于焦虑，孩子更需要的是与其他孩子做社会交往时的信心。在您的例子里，孩子能说“我的拉链”或“希望借宿”，在此年龄有几年的语言迟滞是可接受的。我的目标就是鼓励我的小男孩说这样短语，一旦他能掌握之后，语言就只是一个时间问题了，他一定可以在这一领域赶上大家。我认为需要靠我们家长来简化他们的“会说话”的任务，以使他们在沟通方面获得信心。
By the way, don't quit your job unless you also have other kids need to take care at home. Can you sign him up for the regular after-school kids program? That might be good for him. The reason that I put my little one in regular preschool (paying full tuition) instead of IEP preschool was that I think/hope the classroom enviroment would benefit him.
Thanks for information on "hyperlexia". There is another one called "dyslexia". They are in the same category, right? I'll do some research on this and get back with you later.
顺便说一下，不要放弃自己的工作，除非你还需要在家照顾其他的孩子。你能否让他参加“课后儿童计划” ？这也许对他有益。我之所以把我小孩放在普通学前班（支付全额学费）而不是特殊ＩＥＰ班，是由于我认为并希望（普通）教学环境更有利于他的发展。
谢谢提供有关“阅读症候群”的信息，还有另外一个名词“阅读障碍”，这两是同一概念对吗？我会做一些有关这一问题的研究，稍后再回来与您探讨。
Re: 家有自闭儿
bluwave,
don’t worry about your son. My friend, now a very social and intelligent gay, told me that he began to speak at about 5 years old. Before 5 he did not speak one word. He got Ph.D. and works at a university now.
His son`s IQ score is surprisingly high( I can not remember the number), but there is problem for his son to play with other children. At school his son (9years old) can not behavior normally, e.g. does not sit in the classroom quietly, instead, he would go around; in a large conference, his son went to the lecturer and took up the microphone to speak sth.
His wife also quit her job.
不要担心你的儿子。我的一个非常聪明的非常善于社交的朋友，5岁才开始说话。5岁前他一个字都不会讲。现在他获得博士学位并在大学工作了。
他的儿子智商出奇地高（我不记得具体数了），但仍存在与其他孩子交往的问题，。他的儿子在学校（九年岁）的行为异常，例如不是静静地坐在教室里，却到处转悠，在一个大型会议上，他的儿子走到讲师处，拿起话筒开始发言。他的妻子也辞掉了工作。
changshan,
Thanks for your info. Your nephew is really a smart boy.
When my nephew was young he was the darling of the family because he hardly ever cries, an easy and happy boy. He was very cute. Imaging a 3-year-old boy read book aloud by himself.
My son is the same way, hardly ever cry, easy going and happy.
In school he is in gifted program. Academically, he is way ahead of other kids in his age.
That's great. How does he deal with others? Does he have friends in his own age group?
My own son was very slow to talk. He had speech therapy. But he is very good with math.
How old is your son? I know a few adult who had speesh therapy when they were young and now they are very good with languange (also very smart).
感谢您的信息。您的侄子实在是一个聪明的男孩。
我的儿子一样，几乎从来不哭，随和又快乐。你侄子（学习）很棒，他是如何处理与他人的关系的？他是否有同龄的朋友？
你的儿子几岁了？我知道有几位成年人，在儿时也接受过语言治疗，但现在都是能说会道滴（也很聪明的）。
bluewave,
If your son's hearing is normal, the speech will catch up evtually. Some boys talks later than others. It is good that you kept engaging him in short phases. Also, he is still very young.
My son can speak sentances, and is getting to the point that he can answer something concreate. For example, he told me "I don't want that pants", I ask "why? You wear it last time." He said: "it hurts me." I ask "what hurts you? Where does it hurts you?" He will say: "The zipper." I will ask "where, which zipper?" (his pants has many zippers). He pointed at the leg (not the pants) said "right here, right here." I checked the pants, along the zipper there is a shape piece. (His pants can be converted to shorts). I was so happy that day, since this is the first time he can tell me something bothers him.
He will say things like: "mommy, come away!" really, he wants me to go away, since he doesn't want people look over his shoulder when he is on the computer.
I always try to reason with him, but for a long time, I do not know if he gets the reasoning. But now, I know that he gets it since he started asking questions and argue with us, like "why ALL the human have to sleep, not just SOME of the human?", or "I really do not want to go to bed, do I have to?"
Since he doesn't watch TV and doesn't play games, doesn't play any sports, he doesn't know how to play with other kids. He can't even play rough or wrestling with other kids, since he is tall and big. Sometime, other kids try to play wrestling with him and they always end up on the floor. So most of the time, my son just hold his own hand in front of himself and let others push him around (if he push back just a little, the other kids will be falling down easily. [he is at least a head taller than his classmates. He has been sent to the principle's office for that, and he can't defend himself.)
如果你的儿子的听力正常，语言一定会最终赶上。有些男孩子就是“语迟”，你鼓励他说短语特别好，而且他还小呢。
我的儿子能讲整句，重要的一点是他能回答实际的问题。例如，他告诉我：“我不想穿那条裤子”，我问：“为什么？上次你还穿来着。”他说：“它弄伤我了。”我问：“什么东东伤你了？伤在哪里？”他会说：“拉链”。我会问：“在哪里？哪条拉链？” （他的裤子有许多拉链）。他指着腿（不是短裤）说：“就在这里，就在这里。”我检查裤子拉链，发现一条拉链上有一处很尖锐。（他的裤子可以转换为短裤）。那一天我非常高兴，因为这是他第一次说出了他的困扰。
他会这样说：“妈妈，走吧！”实际上他希望我离开，因为他不喜欢玩儿计算机时别人和他一起看。我总是试图找（不走）的理由，但很长一段时间，我不知道是否理解。但现在，我知道他能够明白了，因为他开始提问题并与我们争论，比如“为什么所有的人都得睡觉，而不是一部份人？”，或“我真的不想去睡觉，我非得去睡吗？“
由于他不看电视，不玩游戏，不做任何运动，他不知道如何与其他孩子玩。他甚至不会玩儿摔跤，因为他很高大。有时，别的孩子尝试与他玩摔跤，他们最终总是倒在地上。因此，在大多数时间，我的儿子只是举起手，让别人推他，如果他稍一用力，其他孩子会很容易跌倒（他长得至少比他的同学高1头）。为此他曾被送到校长室，可他根本不会为自己辩护。）
Bluewave,
As long as your little boy's hearing is normal, he is just delayed in his expressive language development. He will catch up later, may take couple of years.
Expressive language delay is far more common in boys than in girls, from what I observed.
My older boy, who is 5 now, had mild language delay when he was 2 (I even started a thread here back then). So he qualified for the state IEP and later attended language enriched preschool program. He actually caught up right after 3, don't know if it's because of all those programs or just his time came, maybe both.
Once he began to talk in sentences, he has been non-stop. And his talks are all very intelligent with great logic, all his teachers say he is a very smart little boy. He now tells you whatever happens at school, ..."my teacher is going to graduate with a master degree, so she will be a better teacher".....very adult like conversations. Pretty soon, his English will be better than mine. Our concern now is he doesn't speak Chinese back to us.
So in my mind, a language delay is just a delay, if the child don't have other underlining medical problems. They will eventually catch up and I don't think their ultimate communication skills are affected.
只要你的小男孩的听力是正常的，只是在表达性语言的发展上落后的话，他能逐渐赶上，但可能需要几年时间。
表达性语言延迟从我观察看来男孩比女孩更为普遍。
我的大孩子，现在5岁了， 2岁时出现轻度语言迟缓（我在坛子里另开了一主题）。所以他符合国家教育计划（IEP）并随后参加了语言丰富化的学前教育计划。3岁时他赶了上来，不知道这是因为所参加的这些训练或只是他的“时机”到了，也许两者都有。
一旦他开始能说整话，他就刹不住了。而他的语言都非常非常的睿智和有逻辑，所有的老师说他是一个极聪明的小男孩。他现在能告诉我任何发生在学校的事情，...“我的老师及将硕士毕业，所以她会变成一个更好的老师。”简直像成人间的交流。很快，他的英文会比我的好。我们现在担心的是，他不用中文回答我们。
所以在我看来，语言迟缓只是一种延迟，如果孩子没有其他医学上的问题。他们一定能赶上，我不认为他们最终的沟通能力会受到任何影响。
凌霄,
Very much agree with you on this.
My son doesn't really have language delay, since he started speaking right on time. But his communication is lag way behind.
I have two little boys, just imagine how busy we are. The younger one always follows his older borther in every way, they fight yet the older one is always committed to "take care of" his brother.
They have very distinct personalities, the older one has all those deep thoughts that always surprise us and the younger one is so social, he knows all the parents in his preschool class!
We learn so much from them, especially how to appreciate their uniqueness in every unique way. I believe you feel the same for your boy.
I would like to keep you and your boy in my prayers if you are ok with it.
很同意你这一点。
我的儿子并没有真正语言上的拖延，因为他开始说话的时间不晚。但他的沟通能力落后许多。
我有两个小男孩，可以想像我们是多么繁忙。小家伙对老大亦步亦趋，哥哥虽然始终致力于“照顾”他的兄弟，但打的不可开交。
他们个性鲜明，老大的深思总是让我们感到惊讶；老二则极擅社交，认识所有学前班孩子的父母！
我们从他们身上学到很多，特别是如何以独特的视角欣赏他们的独特个性。我相信这也是你对你孩子的感觉。
我想为您和您的孩子祈祷，如果您不介意的话。
Re: 家有自闭儿
About half a year ago, I mentioned that my son still couldn't talk and 岩雨 gave me a lot of good advice. I had him uated by a speech therapist in summer, but didn’t take any therapy lessons. He is now 4, he is definitely starting to talk. So I guess he is what they call "natural late talker".
So don't worry, it all will come in due time.
Bluewave, There are some criteria to diagnose the High Function Autism and Asperger Syndrome. You should read books about it. From your description, your son's doctor seems to be very ignorant about this. If your son shares a lot in common with 岩雨's son, then there is no way for a doctor to have a diagnose or rule out a diagnose within half an hour. So go see another doctor. Also, it is possible that your son might just have some language delay, but it might be something more serious. HFA or Asperger kids don’t have language problem, but have communication problem. Basically they are less mature than other kids while they have the same or even higher IQ. The worse is classical autism. It has all the problem of HFA plus language.
约半年前，我提到我的儿子还不会讲话时岩雨给了我很多好的建议。今年夏天我请语言治疗师为他做了评估，但没有采取任何治疗手段。他现在4岁，真的开始说话了。所以我猜他是他们所谓的“语迟者”。
所以不要担心，这一切将在适当的时间出现。
Ｂｌｕｅｗａｖｅ，有一些用来诊断高功能孤独症和Asperger综合症的标准，你应该读读相关的书籍。从您的描述，你儿子的医生似乎对此相当无知。如果你的儿子与岩雨的儿子有许多共同点，那么医生就不可能在半小时内对病症确诊或排除（我的理解是需要花更大量的时间）。因此，赶紧去看另一位医生吧。此外，有可能您的儿子只是有一些语言发育迟缓，但也可能是更为严重的问题。高功能孤独症或亚斯伯格孩子没有语言问题，但有沟通和社交问题，他们相比其他孩子幼稚，即使他们有相同或更高的智商。更糟糕的是典型的自闭症，他们具有所有高功能自闭症的问题再加上语言迟滞。
bluewave 写道:
...
After reading your newest posts and that of ChangShan's, I'm wondering what were the criteria doctors used to diagnose your son or ChangShan's nephew with HFAC.
...
I agree with everything 四维 said on this thread. It seems to me that some parents here are a little bit too optimistic for their kids' "symptoms". As parents, we know our kids the best so we should trust our gut feeling regarding our kids' development. Early intervention is the key and it does work! Some parents refuse to accept that their kids are not "normal". I'm not sure if that's the best for their kids. I would much rather hoping for the best but prepare for the worst.
我完全同意四维的意见。在我看来，这里有些家长对他们孩子的“症状”有点太乐观了。作为父母，我们最了解我们的孩子，所以我们应该相信对我们的孩子的发展状况的直觉。早期干预是关键且十分见效！有些家长拒绝接受他们的孩子“特殊”，我不知道这样对自己的孩子好不好。我对事宁愿抱有最好的希望，但作最坏的打算。
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发表于 2009-11-12 22:09:07