关于儿童自制力的培养

秋爸爸

鉴定：不是教育训练的科学文章，而是攻击我国社会主义教育制度的政治性黑文章。
池博来，动动手，把它扭送社会栏目。
既然连自制力都没个定义，上来就先讲故事，那读老润应该配合读于丹。

沉静

这回终于跟秋偶站一边了。鸡冻。

秋爸爸

又一个谦虚的。咱们都是站在于丹这一边儿的。ABA告诉我们说，痛苦地克己复礼不对，快乐地克己复礼才对，国学要从娃娃抓起。

文章还谈到了金融危机？那应该转给温总理看看。心理学据说好像有这么跨行指导的先例，业余的心理学好像还没有过。
寅吃卯粮，贷款买房，都是缺乏自制力的表现。建议关闭所有银行，买房子的，攒够了再来。

马丁

The Key to Health, Wealth and Success: Self-Control

By Maia Szalavitz Monday, January 24, 2011 [/ALIGN]

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/24/the-key-to-health-wealth-and-success-self-control/#ixzz1E7kTawxf[/ALIGN]

[/ALIGN]
Self-control may be the secret to success, according to a persuasive new study that followed 1,000 children from birth to age 32: children who showed early signs of self-mastery were not only less likely to have developed addictions or committed a crime by adulthood, but were also healthier and wealthier than their more impulsive peers.
Problems surfacing in adolescence, such as becoming a smoker or getting pregnant, accounted for about half of the bad outcomes associated with low self-control in childhood. Kids who scored low on such measures — for instance, becoming easily frustrated, lacking persistence in reaching goals or performing tasks, or having difficulty waiting their turn in line — were roughly three times more likely to wind up as poor, addicted, single parents or to have multiple health problems as adults, compared with children who behaved more conscientiously as early as age 3.

"This is a great study, mining a huge trove of data to tease apart the relationships among some really important factors that can determine the direction of our lives," says Martha Farah, director of the Center for Neuroscience and Society at the University of Pennsylvania. "It highlights how incredibly important self-control is."


Dr. Bruce Perry, professor of psychiatry at Northwestern University, agrees: "It's a very cool study. This is taken from data from what is probably the best long-term study in our field." (Disclosure: Perry and I have written two books together.)

The new research confirms the findings of the famous Stanford marshmallow study, which found that young children who were able resist grabbing a fluffy marshmallow placed in front of them — for 15 long minutes — in order to get two of them later scored an average of 210 points higher on the SAT than kids who couldn't wait. About one-third of the 4-to-6-year-olds studied were able to withstand the sweet temptation. As in the current research, the kids with more self-control in the marshmallow trial had better life outcomes across the board.


For the new study, the "Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study" whose results were published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers led by Duke University psychologist Terrie Moffit followed 1,000 children in New Zealand for more than three decades.

Moffitt and her colleagues measured children's self control on numerous occasions, getting behavior ratings from parents and teachers as well as from research staff who worked with the children. "All children have varying attention spans, and all get frustrated now and then," she says. "But our measures indicated that a child had low self-control only if the scores from different reporters and on different occasions all added up and pointed in the same direction."
By adulthood, children in the highest self-control group were significantly less likely to have multiple health problems (11%), compared with kids in the lowest self-control group (27%). They were also much less likely to have addictions to multiple substances (3% vs. 10%, respectively), says Moffitt.

Only 10% of kids with high self-control grew up to have low income — less than $20,000 per year — compared with 32% of their more impulsive peers. Forty-three percent of the least disciplined children had a criminal record by age 32, compared with just 13% of the  most conscientious. And as adults, 58% of kids who had low self-control had become a single parent; this was true for only 26% of the high self-control group.

In previous research, researchers have found that impulsiveness and out-of-control behavior are more common in children who have experienced loss, trauma or violence — factors that tend to affect poorer kids more than rich ones. "If you have adverse experiences, that's going to turn up the stress response," says Perry, explaining that stress may affect the proper development of the frontal cortex in children's brains, which is responsible for self-control and for "putting the brakes" on the brain's lower brain regions. "If you have lower self-control, you'll have a harder time in school, you won't learn as efficiently, you're more likely to act on frustration, which means more social problems and you might end up with legal problems."

Although Moffit's study found some "concentration of low self-control children in homes with low income," the author says, the correlation was small. "There were plenty of well-to-do children with very low self-control."


In fact, poor children who scored best on measures of self-control were more likely than others to become wealthy in later life. "One interpretation of the findings is that children with high self-control who began life in low-income homes ended up as adults with higher incomes," says Moffitt.

Not surprisingly, many of the lapses in self-discipline that led to the worst life outcomes occurred during the teenage years: teens who had scored lowest in measures of self-control in early childhood were the most likely to make mistakes in the first place. And even those low self-control teens who managed to avoid smoking, pregnancy and alcohol or other drug problems, and stayed in school did worse later in life than their more disciplined peers. "This suggests that there might be a better return on investment from early childhood interventions," Moffitt says.

"Trial and error is a healthy part of teenage life," she adds. "But teens with good self-control engage in trial and error strategically, and they appreciate the difference between a useful learning experiment and real danger. I'm convinced that teenagers can be coached on this distinction."

Interventions aimed at improving self-control and behavior throughout childhood are now being studied, but so far, research has not identified a single best approach. The most effective programs are small and tightly focused on increasing self-control itself — as opposed to fighting bullying, drugs or other problem behaviors — according to Moffitt.

Intriguingly, about 7% of the children in Moffitt's study dramatically increased their own self-control over the course of the research, suggesting that such change is possible. But researchers don't know how or why this happened. "Perhaps some of them attended a school that stressed achievement and provided structure. Perhaps some of them experienced changes in family life, such as parents' changing marital status that brought more structure into the child's daily life. We don't really know," Moffitt says.

"We have deeply held cultural beliefs about self-control — the importance of thinking about the future, persisting with the chores of life — which show up in fables like 'The Ant and the Grasshopper' or 'The Tortoise and the Hare,'" says Farah. "This research shows that there is great wisdom there — delaying gratification and hanging in are aspects of self-control that bring great benefit."

That's probably welcome news to all those tiger mothers' ears. While tiger parenting may err when it veers into harshness, the evidence in favor of teaching the discipline of hard work and repeated practice only continues to grow.

马丁

22楼沉静好，好久不见，黑眼睛也好吧？不知道你们译言翻译了上面这篇没有，如果有的话，能给个链接吗？

马丁

以前没怎么读过于丹，后来方老师推荐，就情不自禁地爱上她了。

小萨也好久不见了，估计去忙组合的事情去了。不过，星期一格莱美的时候见过另一个加拿大人，贾比伯，忒帅。

燕原

看明白了，自制力就是对自己ABA。因为喜欢对自己下狠手的人不多，所以要从小培养。

一说ABA就简单了，决定权在后面价值观，文科。

blackeye

被马四爷点了名，就跟着沉静冒个泡。这个“自制力”我怎么看怎么觉得应该叫“他制力”才对。那些杀人的学生是否是因为管教的原因不说，就说那些吸毒的酗酒的人，我觉得都是家里“他制力”太强大造成的，他们从来就没有用过自己的眼睛来看世界，一旦脱离家庭，那些boundaries就不再存在，人也就迷失了。而自己建立起来的boundaries才是真正有效的boundaries。孩子成长的过程，就是摸索客观存在的boundaries的过程。家长人为地设置、灌输、并且强制实行一些boundaries，我认为对孩子的成长是有害的。家长能做的是帮助孩子去探索和建立自己的boundaries，这包括允许他们越过界限，允许犯错，给他们时间自我调整。这样，孩子才有可能长出真正的“自制力”。

马丁

黑老师给的“自制力”的定义很好，这样我们这个贴从此就有目标了，重复定义如下：

-------------------------------
自己建立起来的boundaries才是真正有效的boundaries。孩子成长的过程，就是摸索客观存在的boundaries的过程。允许犯错，给他们时间自我调整。这样，孩子才有可能长出真正的“自制力”。
====================================================

下面的问题是怎样培养孩子的自制力， 我先说第1点，其他的大家有空补充。

1 等。

燕原

我等了这么久，QBB都没戒烟。
老V给了第二条，我认为是非常重要的：高级诱惑。喜欢上高级雪茄了之后，肯定就不抽烟了。

沉静

不白爹好，元宵节快乐。我去译言看了，没这篇。学习之后只觉得很急很闹心，它阐述的都是我早就知道的，我想知道的它都不阐述——“but so far, research has not identified a single best approach”；“suggesting that such change is possible. But researchers don't know how or why this happened”。好容易提了一句The most effective programs are small and tightly focused on increasing self-control itself，又故意不说是怎样的program。真是急死人。末尾暗示的虎妈推术，又与上面那句警告“stress may affect the proper development of the frontal cortex in children's brains, which is responsible for self-control”互相矛盾。着实叫人为难呀。

燕原给的第三条，价值观，我认为是非常重要滴。autism自然既不是自闭症也不是孤独症，而是自向症，自我感受就是最高强化物。价值观管着自身尊严、自我评判这些最重要的自我感受，肯定有谱。

马丁

谢谢沉静，很锐利，我看那段也有想知道的却找不着的感觉。

燕园发话了，老V写第二条，包包你就看着办吧。乘着葛莱美的热度，我先把第3条挂出来，周末再展开。

3 吹。

燕原

楼上自制力很好，说三年不写日记，就是不写了。

24楼比第1楼靠谱，一到方法论那儿就不写了，因为前首席说了，除了ABA，就没有靠谱的教育方法论，哲学流派不能当枪使，那只是旗帜。

怎么让孩子学会自我ABA，首先要建立八荣八耻观念，夸人为荣，吵架为耻，然后自我奖励惩罚，自制力就培养出来了。
八荣八耻观念是哪儿来的，除了被我D洗脑，父母也可以洗脑。不过比较了中美的不同洗脑方式之后，我一个也没认同，洗AS比洗NT难多了。
那AS的价值观是怎么被洗出来的，看T版就行了，洗理科很容易，洗文科需要最纯的情感才行。

马丁

不喜欢方法,偏说方法.来自NPR的报道：

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133629477/for-kids-self-control-factors-into-future-success

  

Self-control keeps us from eating a whole bag of chips or from running up the credit card. A new study says that self-control makes the difference between getting a good job or going to jail — and we learn it in preschool.

"Children who had the greatest self-control in primary school and preschool ages were most likely to have fewer health problems when they reached their 30s," says Terrie Moffitt, a professor of psychology at Duke University and King's College London.

Moffitt and a team of researchers studied a group of 1,000 people born in New Zealand in 1972 and 1973, tracking them from birth to age 32. The new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the best evidence yet on the payoff for learning self-discipline early on.

The researchers define self-control as having skills like conscientiousness, self-discipline and perseverance, as well as being able to consider the consequences of actions in making decisions.

The children who struggled with self-control as preschoolers were three times as likely to have problems as young adults. They were more prone to have a criminal record; more likely to be poor or have financial problems; and they were more likely to be single parents.

This study doesn't prove that the lack of self-control in childhood caused these problems, but the large size of the study, and the fact that it followed one group of people over many years, makes a good case for an effect.

（以上与24楼内容基本重复。下面是“方法”）

Teaching Control

Economists and public health officials want to know whether teaching self-control could improve a population's physical and financial health and reduce crime. Three factors appear to be key to a person's success in life: intelligence, family's socioeconomic status and self-control. Moffitt's study found that self-control predicted adult success, even after accounting for the participants' differences in social status and IQ.

IQ and social status are hard to change. But Moffitt says there is evidence that self-control can be learned.

"Identical twins are not identical on self-control," she says. "That tells us that it is something they have learned, not something they have inherited."

Teaching self-control has become a big focus for early childhood education. At the Clara Barton Center for Children in Cabin John, Md., it starts with expecting a 4-year-old to hang up her coat without being asked.

Director Linda Owen says the children are expected to be responsible for a series of actions when they arrive at school each morning, without help from Mom and Dad. The children sign in, put away their lunches, hang up their own clothes, wash their hands before they can play, and then choose activities in the classroom.

"All those things help with self-management," Owen says.

Mediating Conflict

Of course, not all 4-year-olds are ready to manage that, so the classroom is loaded with cues and clues to help the preschoolers make their own decisions and be responsible.
Liya Pomfret and Rowan Miller demonstrate how they use the "solutions kit" to resolve conflicts.
Enlarge Maggie Starbard/NPR

A series of seven photos over the sink shows the correct sequence for hand washing. A "solutions kit" poster shows techniques the children can use to resolve disagreements themselves, like sharing or playing with another toy. The two teachers give the children multiple cues when it's time to clean up: Lights flash, a bell rings and the children clap and count to 100. That makes it easier to switch gears without a meltdown.

If a child has problems with self-management, the teachers make a customized "visual cue" card, with photos of the four play choices in the room, to make the decision easier.

And teachers Cathie Morton and Daniela Capbert don't just supervise — they're in the thick of the children's play so that when the inevitable conflicts arise, they can redirect the children into other activities or help them talk through their feelings.

When things do go wrong, there are consequences. Timeouts and apologies don't mean much to children at this age, Owen says, so the teachers try to match consequences to the deed. When one of the children accidentally knocks over a 2-foot-tall tower of blocks that several children had spent half the morning building, the teachers ask the builders what should happen next. "Help fix it," one boy says. And, with a little prompting from the adults, they all pitch in and rebuild.

Self-Control At Home

Parents can help their children learn self-control. Mary Alvord is a clinical psychologist in Silver Spring, Md., whose new book, Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents, teaches self-control strategies. Take small steps, she says. For example, preschoolers can learn that they don't always get what they want immediately; they may need to wait for that treat.

"I call it Grandma's rule," Alvord says. "No dessert until you finish your dinner."

Parents can help teenagers learn self-control by making sure the family has clear rules for things like curfew or finishing homework before they have screen time. Teenager who have problems with impulsivity may benefit from special driving classes that let them practice controlling the car in difficult conditions on a racetrack. For all teens, clear rules such as curfews help them regulate themselves.

Though self-control can be improved throughout life, Moffitt says the earlier children can learn these skills of self-discipline and perseverance, the better. "The later you wait in life to try to learn self-control skills, the more problems you have to reverse and overcome."

All the more reason to start picking up blocks when you're very young.

沉静

我对那个special driving classes有兴趣。其它的就太虚了，日常自理、规范和责任心，相信以琳的每个家长做得都要比上面说的多得多，也比nt孩子家长做得多得多。然而事实是我们孩子的自控能力依然比nt孩子差很多。

马丁

我自己对孩子自制力的培养是不够的，因为经常以自闭症为借口，有些事情是睁一只眼，闭一只眼。至于“相信以琳的每个家长做得都要比上面说的多得多，也比nt孩子家长做得多得多”，可以找方老师对证，我猜她多半会哈哈大笑，或者嘿嘿苦笑。

燕原

日常自理、规范和责任心，我家大都不如我家小都做得多，因为本身就事儿少，不需要整理书包，做小队长什么的。

事儿少是因为要求低，我没有把对AS的要求提到对NT的要求高度，这点和方老师的严格要求有距离，也是楼上最看不上的地方，资产阶级自由化，都有差距了还放养，不圈起来管教。
整天不检讨自己懒还有理，再有理也是小资产阶级的道理，不是红色的。

我承认我被西方历史文化洗脑的太多了，不符合中国文化和国情。

马丁

和楼上继续握手。你有点开始偏离你的同志们了。

马丁

F版那边的葛莱美贴不知道为什么参与的人不多，反正我这里是要继续折腾一阵子的，有些话题先移过来。比如那里老V问：Lady Gaga 和 Katy Perry 哪一个更性感？ 不能马上告诉你。

马丁

翻页继续