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社交礼节训练十五条建议

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1#
发表于 2008-11-24 23:51:07 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
(先贴上来,有空翻译,或者是那位有能力用兴趣的帮忙翻译一下)

1. Telephone manners
Your child has finally learned to talk on the phone and you’re glowing with pride.  He’s on the phone with his Grandma and you’re smiling from ear to ear when suddenly you’re appalled to notice the phone has been abandoned, your child is nowhere to be seen and Grandma is still yakking away.
Social Etiquette Tip
When you’re finished talking to someone on the telephone, it’s a good idea to say good-bye and then hang up.  If you just put the phone on the desk and walk away, the other person won’t know the conversation is over.

2. In a restaurant
The waitress leads you to your table with your child in tow.  As your family is being seated you look around for your child.  To your horror and everyone else’s your child is sampling other people’s food on the way to your table.
Social Etiquette Tip
Other people’s food might look delicious and smell delicious but it’s their food.  It might be tempting but you can’t take food off stranger’s plates and start eating it.

3. Expressing gratitude
Your child thanks his uncle for the gift and rips open the wrapping paper.   His uncle sits next to him, eagerly anticipating his reaction.  To your dismay, your son glances at the gift for one second before he disinterestedly drops it on the floor and runs off to get his train.
Social Etiquette Tip
People spend a long time looking for gifts we like.  Even if you don’t like the gift, it’s important to smile and say “Thank you.”

4. Respecting people’s space
Retrieving a book from the library shelf, you turn around to ask your child a question.  You’re frozen in shock when you notice a gentleman seated and trying to read a book while your son is an inch away from his face, staring into his wire rimmed glasses.
Social Etiquette Tip
Some people have big eyes and some people have small eyes.  Sometimes glasses make their eyes look different.  Sometimes glasses have interesting frames.  Even so, you cannot put your face right in front of theirs to take a closer look.

5. Tact and diplomacy
Upon entering an ice cream shop you notice an acquaintance sitting at one of the tables.  You greet her and introduce your son.  As she smiles and says “Hi” to your son, he points his finger to a large mole on her cheek and in a very loud voice asks “What’s that?”
Social Etiquette Tip
A mole is a dark bump on somebody’s skin.  If somebody has a mole, you should not point to it, you should not touch it and you should not ask in a loud voice “What’s that?”   You should try not to look at it if it bothers you.

6. Sensory issues
Seated in the waiting room, the woman next to you is wearing a beautiful shirt.  It’s red and silky with bits of gold thread.  The receptionist beckons you for a moment.  As you turn back you’re horrified to see your son run his hand down the front of her shirt because he wants to feel the silky material.
Social Etiquette Tip
People might have nice things and might wear nice things.  These things might look good to touch but it’s important to respect people and keep our hands to ourselves.

7. Feigning Ignorance
You’ve spent the last hour enthusiastically telling your friend how much your son has progressed.  “His comprehension is right on track” you explain.  When your son arrives home with your husband, your friend happily greets him.  “I hope school was fun” she says “What’s your teacher’s name?”  It’s an easy question for him but much to your distress, your son stares at her and answers “I don’t know.”
Social Etiquette Tip
If you don’t want to answer a question you can say “I don’t want to talk about it” but you shouldn’t pretend you don’t know the answer.

8. Halloween
Glowing with pride you watch your son walk up to the door and ring the bell.  Within earshot, you’re thrilled when the door opens and he says “Trick or Treat.”  Your smile widens as you watch the lady handing him some candy.  Your son looks at the Snickers Bar distastefully, puts it back into her hands and walks back down the drive, leaving the lady stunned and you aghast.
Social Etiquette Tip
Trick or treating is fun.  Sometimes we get candy we like and sometimes we don’t.  This is because people don’t know what we like to eat.  If you get candy you don’t like, you should say “Thank you” and put it in your Halloween bag.  Someone in your family might want to eat it later.

9. Expressing concern
As your neighbor enters your house she trips over the step and almost goes flying on the floor.  Your son   is standing nearby and thinks it’s hilarious.  To your dismay, he bursts into laughter while pointing at your neighbor.
Social Etiquette Tip
You should not laugh if somebody trips or falls.   They might get hurt or need help.  You should ask “Are you OK?”

10. Unexpected meetings
Strolling through the mall you run in to your son’s previous teacher.  “Look who’s here.” You tell your son, “Do you remember Miss Halden?”  Seeing the recognition in his eyes and knowing full well that he does, you’re dismayed when he looks at her blankly and responds “No.”
Social Etiquette Tip
We often see people in unexpected places.  There’s no need to worry because they just want to greet you.  The doctor won’t start examining you and your teacher won’t start teaching you.  You should smile and say “Hi.”

11. Repetitive
“Produced by DreamWorks and coming to a theater near you” says your son to his aunt for the 38th time in a row.  As patient as she is, even she can’t bear to hear it one more time and she says “I know.  You already told me that.”
Social Etiquette Tip
When somebody says “You already told me that” it’s time to change the conversation.  You could ask “What do you want to talk about?” or you could think of something new to say.

12. Sometimes things change
Your husband’s business partner stopped over for a quick meeting.  You never noticed that he always wears a baseball cap but your son has and he doesn’t like this change.  In his mind, this man belongs with a baseball cap.  No matter what you say, and to your utter embarrassment, you cringe as your son continually finds a way to try and put a baseball cap on this his head.
Social Etiquette Tip
It feels good when things stay the same but sometimes people change and things change.  If people change the way they look, it might seem different.  If you give it some time, you will see that even though it’s different, it’s still OK.

13. Staying on topic
Your son is playing at a friend’s house and you’re relieved it’s going smoothly.  Just then the hostess asks your son “Do you want some juice?” to which he replies “The car fell in the prickly pear.  Ha Ha Ha!”  She looks at him oddly and your heart sinks.
Social Etiquette Tip
We all think lots of thoughts every day.  When someone asks you a question you should answer them.  If you didn’t hear the question you should ask “What did you say?”  After you answer you can say “I want to tell you what I was just thinking.”

14. Avoidance
Eating lunch in the mall you unexpectedly see your son’s school teacher.  “That looks delicious” she tells your son.  “What’s your favorite food?”  Having tried to convince her for weeks that your child’s comprehension is better than she thinks, you’re distraught when your son says “Peanut butter” a food you both know he’s severely allergic to and hasn’t eaten in years.
Social Etiquette Tip
Giving the wrong answer is not a good way to get someone off your back.  It’s better to say “I don’t feel like talking now.  Let’s talk later.”

15. Giving a gift
At the end of year class party you encourage your son to hand his teacher a thank you gift.  He takes the gift and walks towards his teacher while you eagerly watch from your chair.  He approaches the teacher who is talking to someone else.  Without a word and without looking at her, he thrusts the gift in her belly and continues walking, leaving the gift falling to the floor.
Social Etiquette Tip
Getting a gift makes people happy.  If you’re giving a gift to someone you should walk up to them.  If they’re talking to someone else you can say “Excuse me.”  If they’re not looking at you it’s a good idea to tap their arm to get their attention.  Then hold the gift out to them and say “This is for you.”


- By Jene Aviram

This article is property of and copyright © 2003-2007 Jene Aviram of Natural Learning Concepts.  Reference of this article may only be included in your documentation provided that reference is made to the owner - Jene Aviram and a reference to this site http://www.nlconcepts.com
2#
发表于 2008-11-25 12:55:59 | 只看该作者

re:能力不够,翻译不出来,只好顶一下,期待着...

能力不够,翻译不出来,只好顶一下,期待着好心人。
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3#
发表于 2008-12-5 17:51:30 | 只看该作者

re:1 电话礼仪 你非常骄傲,你的孩子终...

1 电话礼仪
你非常骄傲,你的孩子终于学会在电话里交谈了。真让人高兴,他正在电话里和奶奶聊天。突然你吃惊的发现话筒被扔在一旁,你的孩子已经无影无踪而奶奶还在电话里喋喋不休的说话。
社交礼仪技巧
当你在电话里和别人结束谈话时,说再见和挂好电话是个好主意。如果你只是把话筒放在桌子上跑开了,别人就不知道你们谈话已经结束了。

2 在餐厅
服务生领着拖着孩子的你到你的位置。所有家庭成员都就座了,你打量一下孩子。发现了令你和所有人惊骇的事,孩子居然一路从别人的餐桌上取食品尝试。
社交礼仪技巧
别人点的食物看上去很美味很香,但是那是他们的。虽然很吸引人但是你不能从陌生的碟子上拿东西吃。

3 表示感激的心情
你的孩子对叔叔的礼物道谢后打开礼物的包装纸。叔叔坐在他身别,很热切的期望他的反应。令你沮丧的是,他看了一眼礼物然后毫不犹豫地把它扔到地板上跑过去继续玩他的小火车。
社交礼仪技巧
别人花了很长的时间才挑选到送给我们的礼物,即使你不喜欢这个礼物,一定要向别人微笑和说谢谢。

4 尊重别人的空间
当你从图书馆书架上取下一本书,转过头来正准备问你的孩子一个问题。当你注意的你的孩子离那位坐着准备阅读一本书的先生的脸只有一英寸那么远,眼睛直直的盯着那位先生的眼镜,你简直要吓呆了。
提示
有的人有一双大眼睛有的人眼睛很小。有时候眼镜会让他们的眼睛看起来不一样,有的眼镜还有很有趣的框框。虽然这样,你也不能把脸紧挨着别人盯着看

5 得体的外交
当你进入一间雪糕店,你发现一个熟人坐在其中一张桌子。你跟他打招呼并介绍你儿子。当她微笑着向你儿子打招呼:“嗨!”,他却指着她脸上的一颗大痣非常大声地问:“这是什么?”
社交礼仪技巧
痣是人的皮肤上黑色的肿块。如果有人有痣,你不能指着它,也不应该摸它和大声问“这是什么”。如果它令你不舒服你可以设法不去看它。

6 感官问题
在候诊室挨着你坐的女士穿着一件漂亮的T恤,红色的柔滑还夹着金线。前台招手叫你过来一下,等你回来发现可恶,你的儿子的手放在在衣服前面往下滑,因为他想感受一下丝质材料。
社交礼仪技巧
别人可能有很美的东西或穿得很漂亮。这些东西可能看上去手感很好但我们一定要记住尊重别人不能乱动别人的东西。

7假装不知道
你正兴致勃勃的和朋友聊你的孩子取得的进步。“他的理解能力慢慢上了轨道”你说正说着,孩子和你的先生一起回家了。你的朋友跟他打招呼:“我希望学校很有趣”,她说道:“你的老师叫什么名字”。对他来说是个很简单的问题。令人绝望的是你儿子盯着她说:“我不知道。”
社交礼仪技巧
如果你不想回答问题,你可以说:“我不想谈这个。”但你不应该假装你不知道答案


8万圣节
看到儿子走近门口按响门铃,你觉得很自豪。 听到门打开和他说“招待还是捣乱”的声音,你很高兴。看到一位女士给他拿了一些糖你笑得更开心了, 可是,你儿子看着自己讨厌的Snickers Bar糖果,又把糖放回她手里溜掉了,扔下发愣的女士和呆带的你。
社交礼仪技巧
“招待还是捣乱”非常有趣。我们得到的糖果有时候是自己喜欢的 有时候不是。那是因为别人不知道我们喜欢什么糖果。如果我们得到的糖果是自己不喜欢的,你应该说:“谢谢”并把它放在万圣节篮子里。你家里可能有 人想要吃它。

9表示关心
当你的邻居走进你家不小心绊倒差点趴在地板上。你的儿子站在旁边他觉得很滑稽。令你尴尬的是,他指着你的邻居哈哈大笑。
社交礼仪技巧
别人摔跤的时候你不应该笑。这样做他们会受到伤害,他们可能需要帮助,你应该问:“你有事吗? ”

10不期而遇
你在大卖场逛的时候遇到孩子的前任老师。 “看看谁在这里?”你对儿子说:“你还记得Halden先生吗?”看着他认识的眼神你确认他记得的,令人沮丧的是他毫无表情的看着老师说:“不”
社交礼仪技巧
我们经常在意想不到的地方碰到别人。他们只是想跟你打招呼,不要担心,医生不会给你检查身体老师不会开始给你上课。你只需要微笑并说:“嗨!”

11重复
“由梦工场出品将在戏院上映!” 你的儿子对他的阿姨连续说了第38次。耐心如她,也觉得无法忍受他再说一次了:“我知道了,你告诉过我了。”
社交礼仪技巧
当别人说:“你已经跟我说过了”,就是改变话题的时候了。你可以问:“那你想谈论什么”或者你可以想一些新的东西说。

12更改
你先生的合伙人突然来拜访,你没有留意他原先总是带着棒球帽但你的儿子有留意而且他不喜欢这个改变。在他认为,这个人和棒球帽是一起的。不管你怎么说,你儿子不断设法给他头上戴棒球帽,让你非常尴尬想找个洞钻下去。
社交礼仪技巧
事情保留原来的样子感觉很好。但有时人变了东西也变了。如果人改变了打扮看起来可能不一样了。给一点时间,你会发现就算不一样了,也是挺好的。

13停留在一个话题
你的儿子在一个朋友家玩。一切都很平静你松了一口气。就在这时女主人要问你儿子:“你想要果汁么? ”你儿子回答:“车倒下刺梨啦,哈哈哈”
她奇怪的看着他,你的心一沉。
社交礼仪技巧
我们一天会想到很多事情。当有人问你一个问题你应该回答他们。如果你没有听到你可以问:“你在说什么?”你回答后你可以说“我想告诉你我刚刚在想什么”


14 避免
你在卖场用午餐时遇到你儿子的学校老师。“看起来很好吃”,她和你的儿子说:“你最喜欢的食品是什么?”一直努力证明你的孩子理解能力比她想象的好的你几乎要发狂了听到你儿子回答:“花生酱黄油”-你们两都知道他严重过敏很多年没有吃的食物。
社交礼仪技巧
给一个错误的回答不是一个叫人不打扰你的好方法。你可以说:“我现在不想说话,我们以后再聊。”

15 送礼物
在年末班级晚会上你鼓励你儿子递给老师一份感谢礼物。他拿了礼物向老师走去,你在自己位置上热切的看着。他靠近正在河别人谈话的老师,一言不发也没有看她,把礼物塞到她怀里就走了。礼物掉到地板上。
社交礼仪技巧
送礼物令别人很快乐。如果你要送礼物给别人,你应该走近他。如果他正和别人说话你可以说:“对不起”。如果他没有看你轻轻拍一下他是个好主意,然后拿出礼物说:“这是我送给你的”
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4#
发表于 2008-12-5 18:23:56 | 只看该作者

re:好感谢楼上的翻译,收藏了。

好感谢楼上的翻译,收藏了。
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5#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-12-5 19:20:08 | 只看该作者

re:又一高手露面.谢谢拔刀相助.

又一高手露面.谢谢拔刀相助.
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6#
发表于 2008-12-7 11:45:09 | 只看该作者

re:写得很实用。有件实际发生的事,刚刚发生,...

写得很实用。有件实际发生的事,刚刚发生,我觉得也是他们身上特有的。 不知道怎么写才比较好呢,先试一试。

分清哪件事是最重要的

你发现儿了请了好朋友来家里,说好了要给你们看他在学校的活动影集,这些内容在学校的网上。于是我们一起坐下来。因为上网查要一点时间,儿子说来听一首歌,同学也同意。但这时儿子却发现喜欢的周杰伦的碟坏了一张,放不出音来。于是儿子努力想试所有的可能性,在DVD机和电脑上反复做着试验,还不断地想着怎么去买一张好碟,注意力完全被这张碟的事占据,似乎朋友都不存在了。这时,儿子的好朋友坐沙发上只能由你陪着。

社交技巧:

请朋友来家做客,招待朋友就是最重要的事,你应当使朋友觉得开心。招待朋友的过程中,如果你一心一意去弄自己的事而忘了朋友,会让朋友觉得很没意思,不受尊重。如果你想要有一个自己喜欢的活动,最好跟朋友商量。如果朋友愿意,可以一起做;如果朋友不愿意,应当以朋友的选择为主。
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7#
发表于 2008-12-7 17:55:31 | 只看该作者

re:在外面吃饭或购物时,儿子经常会问店员一些...

在外面吃饭或购物时,儿子经常会问店员一些他自己感兴趣的问题,弄得他们摸不着头脑.
比如说:阿姨,你知道某某游戏的第几关有多少枚金币吗?
或出一道数学题请人家来回答.
往往儿子是得不到答案的,大多数被问者都是笑笑说:"不知道啊".或者是:"不明白你说的是什么".

我的方法:阿姨可能没玩儿过你说的那个游戏,所以她也不知道有多少枚金币.
自我分析:缺乏推测他人心理的能力吧,认为自己喜欢的东西别人一样喜欢.或是想跟他人交流,不太会根据情景发起对话.

请大家再说点儿技巧.
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8#
发表于 2008-12-11 08:32:56 | 只看该作者

re:谢谢b版和3楼的J,非常好的社交建议,可...

谢谢b版和3楼的J,非常好的社交建议,可以用来根据自己孩子的需要编写相应的社交小故事呢。
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9#
发表于 2008-12-15 21:50:14 | 只看该作者

re:要是能有录象就再好不过了. 一直希望教孩...

要是能有录象就再好不过了. 一直希望教孩子如何与人交谈, 错误方式是什么样的, 正确的方式是什么样的. 不知道是否有这样的真人拍摄的录象, 想必会对我们的孩子有非常大的帮助.
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