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马女侠之新传奇

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1#
发表于 2008-1-12 22:09:16 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
朋友转过来一篇华儿街日报上的文章,一看是讲马女侠的,原来是女侠又有行动了,准备买地建果园,看来是建"堪纳园"了.马女侠就是厉害,排起毒来能请来Dr.Shaw,现在又干起实业.在咱们星爸星妈里面,绝对是阴盛阳衰.网上一吵架,沟沟隘隘里的男人都出来了,真干事的时候都是些妇女们忙活.惭愧!

In China, Grass-Roots Groups
Stretch Limits on Activism

A Mother Leads Quest
To School Autistic Kids;
Selling the Family Home

By IAN JOHNSON
January 9, 2008; Page A1

TAIZHOU, China -- For nearly two years, Ma Chen and a group of her friends have run a volunteer effort to help children with autism. They opened three schools, raised $200,000 and brought in outside experts. Now the 35-year-old mother of an autistic girl wants to turn an overgrown plot of land into a working farm for the children when they grow up.

"We need to grow in size," says Ms. Ma, as she tramps through a tangle of orange trees and creeping vines.

But her ambitious goals will require a bigger, better-organized charity -- and that is propelling her into delicate territory. She is part of a grass-roots movement that is testing China's tolerance of groups that operate independent of official supervision.

The outcome has important implications for China. Independent centers of power, such as charities and advocacy groups, have begun popping up here in response to social problems. Beijing is gradually permitting nongovernmental organizations, but it restricts their scope. The country's leadership worries that too much civil society could stir up conflict, challenge its grip and put at risk the stability that has underpinned 25 years of fast economic growth.

Ms. Ma's group has been helped by state policies that for the first time recognize intellectual disabilities as a problem. This was highlighted in October, when Chinese President Hu Jintao attended the Special Olympics in Shanghai.

Ms. Ma, a long-haired woman who wears granny glasses perched on the end of her nose, isn't comfortable being pegged a social activist. Her real interest is engineering. She and her husband met at university, where they studied underwater acoustics. They married and got jobs at a defense contractor in Hangzhou, a tourist center of 4 million known for its scenic West Lake and green-tea plantations. In 2000, their daughter, Miao, was born.

But after two years, Miao seemed unable to interact with people. She could say only a few words and threw tantrums, hitting herself violently. The family went from hospital to hospital and finally found one able to make the diagnosis: autism.

Autism is a neurological disorder that affects the ability to communicate and interact. It can include severely restricted and repetitive behavior, as well as milder disorders such as Asperger's syndrome. Those severely afflicted need help in most aspects of daily life. The China Disabled Persons' Federation estimates that 104,000 children in China have learning disabilities, mostly autism, but based on surveys in other countries, the number is probably many times higher.

In China, as in many developing countries, disabilities like autism were long ignored or considered taboo. According to traditional views, birth defects were a sign that parents hadn't lived a virtuous life. Some mentally disabled people found work in the fields, but often were shut in to spare the clan a loss of face.

That has led to a dearth of knowledge on the condition. After Miao was diagnosed, Ms. Ma couldn't get an answer on what autism was or how to treat it. So she went online and discovered two schools for autistic children, one in Beijing and one in Qingdao. Ms. Ma quit her job and spent a year taking Miao to the two schools and to numerous private workshops the family paid for out of pocket.

She soon found that mainstream schools didn't allow even marginally autistic children, who often have short attention spans and need more intensive teaching. She decided she'd have to start her own school. In 2003, she went to register it with the government-run China Disabled Persons' Federation. It controls which charities for the disabled may be legally established.

The federation was founded to aid the physically challenged and only slowly championed the intellectually disabled. When Ms. Ma tried to register her school as a nonprofit, the federation said autism wasn't a recognized illness. Unable to operate legally, she closed her school.

Three years later, she reapplied. By then, autism was a recognized disorder. Although the federation had plans to set up its own schools for autism, officials said they could accept private outfits getting involved with teaching the disabled. In 2006, the federation's Hangzhou branch approved Ms. Ma's "Carnation Children's Rehabilitation Center."

Then came the next problem: money. To get the school off the ground, the family took drastic measures. They sold their apartment and emptied their savings -- in all, a loss of $100,000 in assets. The family now lives in a sparsely furnished rental in a grimy part of Hangzhou, without a car, stereo or any of the status symbols of China's middle class.

Ms. Ma's situation is typical of parents with autistic children, says Theresa Lu, a retired expert on autism from Taiwan who donates her time at schools in China.

"These schools are so fragile," Ms. Lu says. "I have seen so many go out of business. The parents just sell everything they have to pay for the schools until they run out of money and energy. Then they close."

Ms. Ma, however, began to tap into China's new prosperity. The country's economic rise has created tremendous wealth, but few outlets for charity. A handful of official charities exist, but are widely seen as arms of the government and excite little passion. Without a legal framework to allow private charities, philanthropy in China has been stunted.

So when Ms. Ma's quest spread by word of mouth, something unusual happened: Parents in Hangzhou, even some without autistic children, stepped forward.

"I just thought that here was something that needed our help," says Xu Wei, a 38-year-old housewife whose husband works for Hitachi Medical Corp. Their daughter isn't autistic, but Ms. Xu says her heart broke when she saw the children with no place to go. "It is something different to do, something with meaning."

Ms. Xu's family and three other families donated about $30,000 each, a large contribution by Chinese standards. They also gave their time; Ms. Xu, for example, is a former bank accountant who now handles the school's books.

Buoyed by their support, Ms. Ma began to recruit teachers. Parents of other children with autism began to turn to her, hoping they'd get a better education for their children. The disabled persons' federation is starting its own schools, but runs them for profit and so has higher student-teacher ratios.

Ms. Ma's school opened in April 2006. Soon after, she opened a second school, in Taizhou, and then last August, another one in her hometown. Enrollment fluctuates, but there are usually a total of about 100 students.

In October, Ms. Ma and her backers gathered to hold an unofficial board meeting in Taizhou and to survey the farm for sale. They timed their visit to coincide with a training class for teachers at the Taizhou school held by Ms. Lu, the Taiwanese volunteer. The 72-year-old spends several months a year traveling to mainland China to train teachers and parents.

Without a car, Ms. Ma and Miao made their way to Taizhou by bus. Ms. Ma worried for days about the four-hour trip. Like many autistic children, 7-year-old Miao dislikes enclosed spaces and can have fits of anger when cooped up. So Ms. Ma talked carefully to Miao about the trip, warning her what lay ahead. During the ride she stroked Miao, whispered encouragement, pointed to things outside and played games with her.

The effort paid off; only once did Miao jump up in frustration and rattle the seat of the passenger in front of her. Ms. Ma considered apologizing but reasoned that most people don't know what autism is. She smiled at the young man who turned around to look.

"He thinks Miao is a spoiled child and I'm a bad mother," Ms. Ma said, as the man turned away. "But what he doesn't realize is Miao's progress. Before the school opened, she couldn't sit still like this."

Finally, Taizhou. The city lies on a strip between the East China Sea and mountains that used to isolate this part of the country. Over the centuries, the seclusion forged a strongly individualistic streak; locals embraced China's economic reforms when they were launched in the late 1970s. The coast is now dotted with hundreds of family-run businesses, making everything from bra hooks to wooden toys.

The prosperity is important to Ms. Ma's work. Her schools, and others like them, get no government money. They survive by charging between $200 and $300 in monthly tuition. It is a staggering amount for China, even in wealthy provinces like Zhejiang, where the annual per-capita income for urban residents in 2006 was $2,400.

A few poor parents are given free tuition, but even middle-class families can't afford more than a few months of classes. Typically, a family enrolls a child for several months and one family member comes to learn how to communicate better with the child. Family members learn how to stop the children from hurting themselves and help them express themselves so they feel less frustrated.

The parents also learn that their child isn't being naughty -- and, hopefully, to stop beating their child, still a common reaction to an autistic child. Some dream their child will learn to read and write and join a regular elementary school. But most can afford classes just long enough to deal with the child's most pressing problems.

The day after arriving in Taizhou, Ms. Ma and her backers met at the school. As they prepared to hold a training session, Ms. Lu surveyed the 20 teachers and whispered to Ms. Ma: "There are too many teachers here. You only have 26 children. You'll go bankrupt."

Her schools lose about $10,000 a year. But Ms. Ma has little choice. China, a nation of 1.3 billion, trains fewer than 100 special-education teachers each year. This year, a class of 30, specialized in autism, graduated. The rest are trained in education for the blind, deaf and those with other impairments. Ms. Ma tries to hire the specialists but their numbers are so limited that she has to train most of her teachers. She trains teachers for six months. Even then, they still can't handle more than one or two autistic children at a time, she says.

So the schooling has to be especially intensive. The bottom line: Ms. Ma's schools have about a one-to-one student-teacher ratio, making it almost impossible to break even.

The next day, Ms. Ma, Ms. Lu and the parents surveyed the farm on the outskirts of Taizhou, then went to a small restaurant to discuss plans. The group agreed the disabled persons federation is better than before, but too passive and too concerned about money. One of Ms. Ma's schools is located in buildings owned and rented out by the federation, which the parents think isn't right.

"You can say there's progress because now they don't block us," Ms. Ma said over bites of shrimp and cuttlefish. "But I'll put it to you this way: They're our landlords. You can say, well, the rent is lower than it might be. That's true. But they still make money off us."

A spokesman for the federation said he couldn't comment on its financial arrangements with Ms. Ma's school.

Ms. Ma would like to set up a provincial or national parents' association. A bigger group would mean a more stable number of students and more money to train teachers. Eventually, they could raise the student-teacher ratio to 2 to 1 -- better than the government schools' ratio of about 6 to 1 -- but enough to break even. A bigger pool would also make it more likely to find enough parents to purchase the farm.

Last year, parents in Beijing tried to establish just such a national federation but were denied registration by the Ministry of Civil Affairs. The ministry declined to comment but a spokeswoman noted it is setting up schools for the autistic.

Ms. Ma's group would like to tap more efficiently into China's growing wealth. It hopes to set up a foundation where donations could be tax-free -- an important incentive because China is starting to tax the wealthy.

For now, a lack of legislation makes this impossible, although China's parliament may take up a charities law at its annual session in March. It shelved a draft bill at the 2006 session.

"There's no doubt there's progress, but it's slower than it might be," says Liu Hongchuan, a Beijing-based lawyer with an autistic child. "President Hu's visit [to the Special Olympics] shows that awareness is up, which is very important. But what these groups lack is a stable legal platform."

Before lunch broke up, Ms. Ma's benefactors agreed to cover the schools' estimated $10,000 in losses this year. They could end the losses by cutting out the few indigent families and upping the student-teacher ratio. But instead they opted to sink more money into the schools.

On the way back to town, they drove under a banner heralding the Special Olympics: "Pay more attention to and develop the affairs of the disabled."

"China is [paying more attention]," Ms. Ma said, nodding at the banner. "But the thing is, I'm not interested in organizations or networks. I want this [farm] so my daughter will have a place to live when we're dead."

--Ellen Zhu in Shanghai contributed to this article.

Write to Ian Johnson at ian.johnson@wsj.com
2#
发表于 2008-1-13 00:03:47 | 只看该作者

re:时间关系,翻译一前一后两段:近两...

时间关系,翻译一前一后两段:

近两年来,马琛女士和她的一干朋友,一直以自愿的形式在帮助自闭儿。他们开设了三所学校,筹集了20万美元,并且外聘了一些专家。而今,这个有着一个自闭女儿的三十五岁的母亲,正在考虑把一块荒地,变成自闭儿们长大后能够干活儿的农场。
...
“中国的确是(在逐步关注),”马女士说,“但关键是我个人不对机构或网络(此“网络”我估计指支持网络,不是互联网的概念)感兴趣,我想在我们去世后,这个农场可以让我女儿有个地方呆。”
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3#
发表于 2008-1-13 13:20:57 | 只看该作者

re:PS:最后一段中的organizatio...

PS:最后一段中的organizations译成“机构”恐带来误解(虽然不错),但是在上下文中更应指各类组织(如残联)。
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4#
发表于 2008-1-14 11:29:08 | 只看该作者

re:这里有中文版http://chine...

这里有中文版
http://chinese.wsj.com/gb/20080111/chw141101.asp
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5#
发表于 2008-1-14 13:12:30 | 只看该作者

re:写的真好。学习\感动!

写的真好。学习\感动!
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6#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-1-14 13:17:38 | 只看该作者

re:中国民间组织在摸索中前行2008...

中国民间组织在摸索中前行

2008年01月11日13:49

在将近两年的时间里,马琛和一群朋友一直在志愿救助患孤独症的孩子。他们开设了三所学校,筹集了20万美元,还从外面聘请了专家。今年35岁的马琛自己就有一个患孤独症的女儿。现在,她希望将一块植物很茂盛的场地改造成农场,以便让这些孩子长大以后能有个生活来源。

“我们需要扩大规模,”马琛走在一片长着桔子树和遍地藤蔓的地方,一边对我们说。

但要实现这个理想,还需要规模更大、组织更高效的慈善团体──这将她推到一个很微妙的境地。她所投身的这场民间运动考验着中国政府对独立于官方监管之外的民间组织的容忍度。

这场考验的结果对中国意义重大。伴随各种社会问题的出现,慈善团体和活动组织等独立社会力量团体开始在中国涌现。中国政府正逐渐认可非政府组织,但对其活动范围加以限制。中国领导阶层担心过多的民间组织会激发冲突,对政府的控制形成挑战,并危及25年来经济快速发展所依赖的社会稳定。

目前,中国政府已承认心智障碍是一种需要解决的问题,这一政策对马琛很有帮助。2007年10月,中国国家主席胡锦涛出席了在上海召开的特奥会,也显示出对这一问题的重视。

马琛一头长发,鼻梁上架着一副金边眼镜。她对自己被打上“社会活动家”的标签感到很不自在。她真正的兴趣是工程学。她和丈夫是在大学里认识的,两人都是学水下声纳专业的。结婚后,他们在杭州的一家军工企业工作。2000年,他们的女儿淼淼呱呱坠地。

两岁的时候,淼淼似乎没法与别人交流。她只能说几个字,爱发脾气,还会用力地打自己。马琛带着她看了一家又一家医院,都查不出结论,直到最后,有一家得出了诊断结果:孤独症。

孤独症是一种神经官能失调症状,它会影响患者的交流和沟通能力。患者会有一些限制性和重复性的举动,以及较轻微的行为障碍,比如艾斯伯格综合症。病情严重的患者日常生活的大部分行动都不能自理。据中国残疾人联合会(China Disabled Persons' Federation)估计,中国有104,000名儿童没有学习能力,其中大多为孤独症患者,但从其他国家的调查结果来看,实际人数可能比估计的高出许多倍。

与许多发展中国家一样,在中国,孤独症等残障长期被忽视或被视为禁忌。在传统观念中,孩子的先天缺陷表明其父母品德有问题(因此受到报应)。有些智障者可以在外面做些活计,但也有很多被关起来以免让家人丢脸。

这种情况导致人们对孤独症相关知识的缺乏。在淼淼被确诊以后,马琛到处都打听不到孤独症是怎么回事、应该如何治疗。于是她上了网,发现有两家针对孤独症儿童的学校,分别在北京和青岛。马琛辞掉了工作,花了一年时间带淼淼去了这两所学校,还去过其他多家私人训练班,全都是自掏腰包。

不久她发现,正规学校不接受患孤独症的孩子,即使是很轻微的孤独症。通常,这些孩子能集中注意力的时间很短,需要更高密度的教学。她决定自己开办学校。2003年,她去政府主办的中国残疾人联合会登了记。成立面向残疾人的慈善机构需向该机构申请。

成立残联的初衷是帮助有身体残疾的人,它对智障人士的支持十分有限。当马琛试图将自己的学校登记为非营利机构时,残联说孤独症不属于公认的疾病。不能合法运作的马琛只好关闭了学校。

三年后,马琛再次提出申请。此时,孤独症已被承认属于残障。虽然残联自己已计划为孤独症患儿开设学校,但相关官员表示,可以接受私营机构参与残障患者的教育。2006年,残联杭州分会批准了马琛的“启明星儿童康复中心”。

随后,新的问题又出现了:他们需要资金。为了将学校办起来,马琛一家想尽了办法。他们卖掉了房子,掏空了积蓄,总计花费了相当于10万美元的财产。现在,马琛一家在杭州一个环境脏乱的地区租了房子住,房间里没几件家具,更没有汽车、音响等像样点的家当。

来自台湾的退休孤独症专家Theresa Lu在中国的智障儿童学校义务教学。她说,马琛的境况在孤独症患儿家长中很普遍。

Theresa Lu说,这些学校太脆弱了,她自己就亲眼见过许多学校关门。家长们倾其所有支撑学校,直到耗尽钱财和精力,然后只能停办。

不过,马琛开始借助中国经济发展带来的可能机会。今天,中国正在创造着大量财富,但慈善事业仍很不发达。虽然有一些官方的慈善机构,但人们认为它们都是政府部门,因而激不起捐赠的热情。由于没有一个允许私人慈善组织生存的法律体系,中国的慈善事业一直举步维艰。

当马琛正在从事的事业在社会上传开以后,奇迹出现了:杭州的许多家长伸出了热情的手;有些家长并没有患孤独症的孩子,但也踊跃相助。

徐薇(音)的丈夫在日立医疗公司(Hitachi Medical Corp.)工作,她说,我就是觉得这是需要我们帮助的事情。他们的女儿很健康,但徐薇说,当她看见那些患病的孩子无处可去,她的心都碎了。她觉得这是不一样的,是有意义的事情。

徐薇一家和另外三个家庭每家捐赠了大约3万美元,按中国的标准,这是个不小的数目。他们还为学校义务服务;比如,曾在银行做会计的徐薇现在为学校管理图书。

在他们的支持下,马琛开始招聘教师。其他孤独症患儿的家长开始考虑她的学校,希望能让自己的孩子接受更好的教育。残联也开办了自己的学校,但是营利性的,因此师生比率比较低。

2006年4月,马琛的学校开始招收首批学生。不久之后,她又在台州创办了第二所学校。接着在去年8月,她又在自己的家乡创办了第三所学校。虽然入学人数时多时少,但通常都能有100名左右的在校生。

去年10月,马琛和她的支持者在台州召开了一次非正式的董事会会议,并考察了正在出售的农场。他们将活动安排在台湾志愿者Theresa Lu在台州学校举行教师培训的时候。现年72岁的Theresa Lu每年都要花几个月的时间来中国大陆培训教师和家长。

马琛没有车,所以她和淼淼只能坐公共汽车去台州。出发前好几天,马琛都在担心这次4个小时的行程。与很多孤独症患儿一样,7岁的淼淼不喜欢封闭的空间,而且如果处于这样的空间,就会大怒不止。所以马琛小心翼翼地向淼淼说起这次行程,告诫她会碰到什么事。在车上,她不断地抚摸淼淼,低声鼓励她,指着窗外的景物让她看,还和她一起做游戏。

皇天不负苦心人。只有一次,淼淼受挫地跳了起来,摇晃前面乘客的座位。马琛本想道歉,但是想到大多数人对孤独症都一无所知,所以她只是冲着回头来看的年轻人微微一笑。

马琛说,年轻人回过头去的时候,以为淼淼是个被宠坏了的孩子,而马琛是个坏妈妈;但是他不知道的是淼淼有了怎样的进步。在学校开课之前,她甚至无法像这样安静地坐着。

终于到了台州。台州坐落在中国东海和群山之间的一片狭长地带上。过去,连绵的山脉把台州与世隔绝起来了。在过去的几个世纪里,这种封闭的状态给当地人的性格中增添了非常强烈的个人主义色彩。上个世纪70年代末,中国改革开放的春风也吹到了台州。现在这片海岸上有上百家个体作坊,生产的产品从文胸挂钩到木质玩具,一应俱全。

台州的繁荣对马琛的工作非常重要。她的学校以及其他类似的学校都没有政府的拨款。他们通过每月向学生收取200到300美元的学费维持生存。这笔钱在中国来说可是个不小的数目,即使是在浙江这样的富裕省份也很可观。2006年浙江省城镇居民的人均年收入为2,400美元。

少数几个贫困家庭可以免缴学费,但除此之外,即使中等收入的家庭也只能承担几个月的学费。通常一个家庭会让孩子上几个月的学,同时一位家庭成员会来学校学习如何更好地和孩子交流。家庭成员们学习如何防止孩子自我伤害,并帮助他们表达自己,以便减少挫折感。

家长们还认识到他们的孩子并不是在淘气;如果运气好的话,还可以不再打骂孩子。目前打骂还是对孤独症患儿的普遍反应。一些家长梦想他们的孩子能学会读写,并进入普通的小学上学。但是大多数家庭能负担的在校学习时间只能解决学生最迫切的问题。

到达台州的第二天,马琛和她的支持者在学校见了面。他们准备开始培训课程的时候,Theresa Lu对20名即将接受培训的教师进行了调查,之后悄声对马琛说,教师太多了,而学生只有26个,她会破产的。

马琛的学校每年大约要亏损1万美元。但她别无选择。尽管中国有13亿人口,但每年培训的特教老师还不到100名。今年共有30名从事孤独症患儿教育的老师学成毕业,剩余的是从事盲人、聋哑和其他残疾儿童教育的老师。马琛试图雇佣这些专家,但专家的人数太少了,所以她不得不培训自己学校里的大部分老师,这些老师要接受为期6个月的培训。马琛说,即使是在接受培训之后,每个教师也只能同时应对一两个孤独症患儿。

因此培训的强度必须非常高。而说到收支平衡问题,马琛的学校中师生比大约为1:1,所以要想达到收支平衡几乎是不可能的。

第二天,马琛、Theresa Lu和家长们考察了台州郊区的农场,然后到一个小饭馆里讨论计划。大家都认为目前残联的工作比以往任何时候做得都好,不过仍然过于被动,而且太在乎钱了。马琛的一个学校租用了残联名下的房子,但家长们认为这样做不合适。

马琛一边吃着虾和墨鱼,一边说:“应该说现在已经有了进步,因为他们不再阻挠我们了。但我会这样说,他们是我们的房东。你可以说,房租要低一些。这是事实。但他们仍在我们身上赚钱。”

残联的一位发言人称他不能就残联和马琛学校之间达成的财务安排发表评论。

马琛希望能成立一个全省或是全国性的父母协会。组织规模越大,就意味着生源越稳定,会有更多的资金用于培训教师。最终,他们可能会将师生比提高到1:2,虽然没有政府创办的学校中1:6的师生比那么高,但足够达到收支平衡了。规模更大还会增加机会找到足够多的家长来买下农场。

去年,北京的家长们就试图成立这样的一个全国性联合会,但民政部没有批准。民政部拒绝就此发表评论,但一位发言人表示目前正在为孤独症患儿创办学校。

马琛的团体希望能更有效地利用中国不断增长的财富。它希望能成立一个基金,捐款和捐赠物可以享受免税待遇。这是一种很重要的激励机制,因为中国开始向富人征税了。

不过现在由于中国的法制还不健全,这种想法还无法实现,虽然人大可能会在3月份召开的会议上着手制定一部慈善法。2006年的人大会议上一个类似的草案被搁置了。

刘洪川(音)是北京的一位律师,家里有一个孤独症患儿。他说,毫无疑问中国取得了一些进步,但进步本可以更快些。胡锦涛主席出席特奥会的行动显示出国家对残疾人的关注有所提高,这很重要。但是这些团体缺乏的是一个稳定的法律平台。

在午餐结束前,马琛的捐助者同意负担学校今年约1万美元的损失。他们本可以拒绝几个贫困家庭学生的入学,或是提高师生比,进而扭亏为盈。但他们并没有这样做,而是选择将更多的钱投到学校里。

在回城的路上,他们坐的车从一个特奥会的宣传条幅下驶过,上面写道:为残疾人投入更多关注,促进残疾人事业的发展。

马琛一边对条幅连连点头称赞,一边说,中国正在更多地关注残疾人,但问题是她对各种组织或是网络不感兴趣。她想买下这个农场,以便女儿能在他们离开人世后有个安身之处。
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7#
发表于 2008-1-16 02:40:49 | 只看该作者

上下求索

小的时候,电视里放《京华烟云》,因为当时学习比较紧张,家长不让看电视剧,只能在休息的时候在电视机前磨蹭一会儿,看上几个片断。但是有两个片断在心里留下深刻印象,二十年过去,反倒更加清晰。
    片断一:抗日战争开始了,年轻人群情激奋,慷慨陈词,有的表示要投笔从戎。长者却冷静的说:战争能否取得胜利,取决于曼娘的态度。曼娘性格软弱善良,凡事逆来顺受。当大家的征询的目光汇聚于曼娘脸上的时候,曼娘茫然不知所措,说:大家相安无事就好了,好好的,打什么仗?长者说:这一仗中国必败。
    片断二:战火迅速蔓延,中国军队果然大败,丧师失地。曼娘被日本兵凌辱,悬梁自尽。临死前,她悲愤的嘱咐子侄辈投军,与日本人血战到底。
    尤其是第二个场景,历历如在眼前。在这悲愤的一幕中看到了抗日战争胜利的希望!
    回忆这么多,是因为联想:和自闭症之间何尝不是一场殊死的战争?战争有没有希望取决于谁的态度?个人认为应该取决于中度与重度大龄自闭儿童家长的态度。
    由此联想到早前的一个贴子,大致名字叫“大龄自闭儿童该怎么办”。本来希望能够得到一些有价值的信息,然而令人失望的是,除了引发一场争吵以外,有价值的东西实在很少。一位家长的提问字字打在我的心里:“孩子终究要长大,如果不能上小学,没有希望回归正常社会,我们该怎么办?有没有其它的路可以走得通?”这何尝不是每一个星儿父母心中的疑问?彩虹大姐(cai_hong)的回答让人尊敬,她用实际行动开创了一条道路(这地上原本没有路,走的人多了,也就成了路)。实事求是的说,对于一个资深的家长、一个论坛或者一个机构来说,这个问题过于沉重,也许只有社会才能回答,然而目前没有答案。
    由此又联想到在以琳的时候,见到一个母亲,孩子的个头已经与她一般高,程度大概是中度。她看到孩子不能理解和执行老师的指令的时候,焦急万分,连打带骂,她的眼神已经有一些麻木,似乎是在徒劳的努力。这是因为她心中的疑问没有人能回答,她必须竭尽全力,争取最后一点让孩子回归正常社会的希望。
    由此又联想到以琳的一位老师从韩国考察回来后写道:我们别无选择,只有靠自己。
    由此我想,论坛上一些孩子程度比较好、家庭条件也比较好的家长的乐观、信心甚至焦虑并不能代表整个群体的心理状况。只有当中度与重度大龄自闭儿童家长认为未来有保障前途有希望的时候,才是战争胜利的时候!(个人认为:战争的胜败并不是医学上是否有方法治疗——即使有这样的方法,也是数十年上百年以后的事情,而是让所有这个群体的家庭都能得到充分的社会保障)。当他们勇敢站出来说我们应该团结起来,去争取社会保障的时候,也就是局面真正改观的时候!(我们必须面对这样的事实:这个群体里有相当比例是不能回归正常社会的,社会有责任给他们提供合理的空间,不能无视他们的存在。打开局面的担子同样也落在每一个家长身上。)
    路漫漫修远,上下求索!
注:这个贴子已经发过一次,由于读了《马女侠新传》,把它贴在下面,作为支持!
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8#
发表于 2008-1-17 19:47:57 | 只看该作者

论坛上一些孩子程度比较好、家庭条件也比较好的家长的乐观、信心甚至焦虑并不能代表整个群体的心理状况。只有当中度与重度大龄自闭儿童家长认为未来有保障前途有希望的时候

说的真好,我是一个低收入家庭,孩子也是重度的,我也是常考虑孩子的未来。而且也正在为此努力
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9#
发表于 2008-1-18 07:50:56 | 只看该作者

不怕力小怕孤单

    大圣明儿,建议多和一些比较资深的家长联系,多沟通,看能不能想到一些办法。争取社会支持这一点,同样是个长期艰巨任务,短期内不容易收效很大,所以期望值要适当。但是尽心尽力做了,总是要好一些。
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10#
发表于 2008-1-18 07:56:29 | 只看该作者

re:大圣明儿,你到“帮我一把”里面看...

    大圣明儿,你到“帮我一把”里面看看“南京家长请看”的帖子里,有讲道南京和上海家长联合起来积极争取社会关注和支持的内容。
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11#
发表于 2008-3-3 21:01:08 | 只看该作者

re:冯班长:原来这个帖子是你发的呀?哈哈.....

冯班长:原来这个帖子是你发的呀?哈哈.......
熟悉我的朋友都知道我一直有个心愿,那就是在有生之年建成一个小型的“世外桃源”:或是个美丽的农庄或是个静谧的社区,几十个有自闭症孩子的家庭生活在里面,或从事有机农产品和花卉的栽培或进行一些简单的例如手工艺品或食品的加工,我们的孩子在里面可以自由自在的工作生活,这个农场或社区是为我们的孩子而存在的,里面可以有一些其他的人,但这些人都是了解并爱我们的孩子的,例如我们的孩子去买东西,他们会耐心的倾听我们孩子的表达,如果没带钱或付多了钱或表达的不清楚他们会及时的和我们家长沟通,例如我们的孩子迷了路,任何一个社区里的人都会协助他找回自己的家。。。。。。我们不必担心我们的孩子没法与别人去竞争更不用担心会受到别人的歧视或虐待,我们不必要求他们完全和别人一样有高超的交际技巧,不必要求他们遵守和别人一样的规则,这是一个属于他们的世界,每个人都理解他们,每个人都帮助助他们使他们生活得更有尊严更有质量,我们可以不必那么焦急的而是一点点顺其自然的教会他们做饭、买东西、表达自己的要求、照顾自己、遇到危险时自救、做一些简单的工作甚至和别人打交道等等等等。不让他们感到焦虑,不让他们有挫折感,让他们有一个虽然与别人不同但却同别人一样快乐有成就感和幸福感的人生。
等等等等还有很多,篇幅有限我就不多描述我那尚不很成熟的白日梦了,不然再写几千字也写不完。有很多人并不认同,可我却一直做着这样一个白日梦,因为我女儿是一个程度比较差的孩子,在机构里训练几年了,虽然有了很大进步可我一直不放心把她送到学校,而且我也不认为把她送到学校是个好的选择。办了几年的机构也看过了很多自闭症的孩子,一直觉得有一部分孩子一定要让他们回归主流社会和别人过一样的生活并不是对他们最好的选择,也许写到这里很多人要对我拍砖了,可我认为事实的确如此。我从来没放弃过对女儿的训练和努力,但我现在把方向完全放在了生活自理,我想如果她能在那个梦想的农场里“独自”很好的生活我就满足了。
言归正传说说那个马琛买了农场办肯纳园的传闻是怎么来的。刚好一年前台湾的卢妈妈来指导我们办大孩子班的时候也提到了她也一直想为大孩子在国内办个农场,因为她曾经在美国和德国参观过类似的农场,看到以后她就一直有个心愿想在有生之年也在国内办一个,虽然与我的想法不完全相同但初衷和目的都是一样的,她也一直在催促我快点办起来,所以一直以来我都想在一个交通方便又山清水秀的地方买一块地以便以后实现我的梦想,刚好去年十一卢妈在杭州时,我有个朋友在台州帮我看好了一块地,我便和卢妈一起去看,巧的是美国华尔街日报的记者那时来采访我也一起去看了那块地,后来因为交通不便,地价太高,环境不太好等原因我们没有买那块地。我还是比较倾向于在杭州近郊,因为背井离乡毕竟不太现实。可没想到华尔街日报的记者在过了几个月后把这件事报道了出来,我想肯定是有朋友看到了华尔街日报以为农场已经买下了。其实是个误会,而且即使买了地建农场也要等一段时间,因为我现在的主要精力还在训练女儿上,如果训练不跟上买了农场也是没用的。农场不是养他们的地方而是让他们生活的地方,所以他们一定要有一定的能力。如果真的哪一天农场开始建设了我一定会告诉大家的。也希望那时大家可以支持我,毕竟靠我一个人是实现不了这个梦想的。
[em08]
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12#
发表于 2008-3-3 21:51:37 | 只看该作者

re:我认为买农场安置我们的孩子,这想法是挺好...

我认为买农场安置我们的孩子,这想法是挺好的。我认识马琛本人,她是付出了很大的努力。我现到乡下买了一小块有院子的地皮以便建点房子来安置孩子。(我是这样想的:如孩子长大后可在院子里,让孩子种些小花草来卖补给自己的生活,)而乡下地皮稍许便宜些,乡下的人们或许对我们友善些。只是因为我们至今仍在为孩子在外训练,至今也快三周年了,妻子开初也同意我的想法,可最终因现阶段经济上的支出过大(孩子在外训练也需要钱,造房子也需要钱)只好暂时停工了,但我想我们每个家长都在为孩子的未来做打算,努力过就好了。但我想最终仍需要造好房子,这样不仅可以安置孩子,并不至于把孩子关在家里,而自己能自主地给孩子找些活来做。我想,那样孩子将会有更好的未来。
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13#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-3-4 13:23:41 | 只看该作者

re:马琛:你有这个心就已经是"巾帼胜...

马琛:

你有这个心就已经是"巾帼胜于须眉"了.

真要买地的话,也和我们说一声,说不定可以凑个份子.以后有什么进展,多多联系.
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14#
发表于 2008-3-4 18:03:34 | 只看该作者

re:去乡下买房买地不知如何处理产权方面的麻烦

去乡下买房买地不知如何处理产权方面的麻烦
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15#
发表于 2008-3-5 16:51:31 | 只看该作者

re:[QUOTE][b]下面引用由[u]bi...

下面引用由binfeng2000发表的内容:

马琛:

你有这个心就已经是"巾帼胜于须眉"了.

真要买地的话,也和我们说一声,说不定可以凑个份子.以后有什么进展,多多联系.

买地的事一直在联系,有了眉目一定报告
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16#
发表于 2008-3-12 10:47:27 | 只看该作者

re:下面引用由马琛发表的内容:言归正传说说那...

下面引用由马琛发表的内容:言归正传说说那个马琛买了农场办肯纳园的传闻是怎么来的。
我想请问马女侠:上《华尔街日报》的报道还叫“传闻”?在报道中人物、时间、地点交待的清清楚楚难道也叫“传闻”?真是太可笑了。让我怀疑你办农场的真正目的是为孩子还是为……?
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17#
发表于 2008-3-12 12:42:24 | 只看该作者

re:16楼没有证据不要凭空怀疑别人,这种怀疑...

16楼没有证据不要凭空怀疑别人,这种怀疑很伤人。
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18#
 楼主| 发表于 2008-3-12 13:54:11 | 只看该作者

re:我是觉得如果马堔要办这个堪纳园的话,首先...

我是觉得如果马堔要办这个堪纳园的话,首先就是要为自己,为自己的孩子而办,然后在有条件的下,再照顾到其他的孩子.如果自己的孩子都顾不了,拿什么去顾别人的孩子.所以为自己又怎么了?
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19#
发表于 2008-3-12 15:14:03 | 只看该作者

re:己欲利而利人,己欲达而达人有什么不好呢?...

己欲利而利人,己欲达而达人有什么不好呢?马琛不象借孩子来图野心的人.
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20#
发表于 2008-3-13 09:35:20 | 只看该作者

re:各位说得对,没有证据是不能凭空怀疑别人,...

各位说得对,没有证据是不能凭空怀疑别人,为了自己的孩子也无可厚非。但是,如果只是打着为孩子建农场的名义,而事实只想利用为孩子建农场的名义而达到自己不可告人的目的。在这种情况下该保持沉默还是……?
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