自闭之魔

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周二将开第三次小组会议。估计会有很多可以交流讨论的。

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Self-regulation will be lost under stress or too much stimuli. Doing worse as space gets bigger: smallroom> living room> playgroup> store.

Limited interests, unable to play toys appropriately, wondering around during leisure time

Short attention span, move very quickly through materials/toys.

这是我们对宝贝的评价之部分。

环境，对宝贝的影响似乎很大很大。空间越开阔越嘈杂，宝贝越迷失。参加Playgroup已经几次了，宝贝表现一直不好。定不下来，不会玩。绝大多数时候是跑来跑去，自己开心地笑开心地叫。

今天，又是这样。

宝贝笑着张望着，Joyce(文文的case coordinator，一个快言快语的黑人女人，是我感谢名单里的第一个人，第一个告诉我们宝贝有自闭的人)说：“文文今天状态不错！”我说，“他是很开心，可惜我不知道他是为什么开心。在自己的世界里自己开心。。。”Joyce打断我说，“开心就好，总比不开心好吧！” －－－我苦笑，脑子里想象着某些神智失常傻笑狂笑的人。。。。。。

宝贝吃着Snack,我喊宝贝。宝贝面无表情。我对Joyce说，“以前，他很依恋我，看见我离开就哭，现在看见我无动于衷。我不知道这是进步还是退步。”Joyce又打断我，“现在他的世界变大了，你不再是中心，要老惦记着你干什么！”

宝贝笑着跑着，突然跑到某个小朋友的妈妈的怀里，把头枕在别人胳膊上，就象和我一样。估计把别人的妈妈当自己妈妈了。那个妈妈也很慈爱，抚摸着宝贝。我看了，很伤心。首先想到的是宝贝不明白，不知道人际关系中的“boundary"。后来想，感谢上天，他是一个快乐的善良的孩子，这样的孩子，人们应该不会忍心去伤害吧？

我一直在想，我让宝贝来playgroup的目的是什么？可能达到这些目的吗？平心而论，没有比这更supportive的playgroup了。不到８个孩子的playgroup，总有四个甚至更多的工作人员，每个孩子有一个家长在场，宝贝还有自己的训练师只陪他玩。即使这样，仍然不能让宝贝有很好的互动。我不得不承认，宝贝，实在Challenging!

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Niuniu mom:

如果孩子有多动，该怎么对付呢？你有什么这方面的招吗？

kwenma从生物治疗的角度建议我给宝贝戒面食，我试了短短不到一个星期，最后是孩子和我都要崩溃了。注定了走不通的一条路。很失败。唉。如你所说，不管自闭不自闭，还是先把身体养好吧。。。。

说宝贝多动吧，他却不是那种很强壮的孩子，浑身肌肉松松的，一点劲也没有，跑起来动不动就摔跤。一点也不象我想象的多动孩子身手敏捷的样子。

带他去playgroup，是为了让他适应那样的环境，为三岁后去preschool做准备，让他明白snack time好好坐着规矩吃饭，收拾好自己的杂物，circle time的时候乖乖坐着。。。。以后学区提供的服务，基本上就和现在的playgroup类似，说不定还没有那么多的工作人员提供支持，希望现在他适应这样的流程了，以后去preschool能适应。至于从同伴那学习，获得社交知识，估计是不做指望了。

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考拉妈妈：

如果我有你们那么好的心理承受能力，就铁心做宝贝的训练师了。我对自己能否长期坚持下来没有信心，和宝贝训练，基本上有1/3的精力用来内耗了。不过，万一没有选择，不行也得自己上了。

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开了一两个小时的会，谈了很多，最多的时间是来谈宝贝的问题。

自闭的核心问题，宝贝样样都有，而且很严重。不过，也不是彻底没戏。对于宝贝，有一个那么狭窄的窗口，在那个狭窄的窗口里，你提供了宝贝很感兴趣的事情，你对他提的要求正好合理，他和你会有很好的共享互动。那只是一个很狭窄的窗口，如果你把握不好度，过于挑战他，他就会放弃回避了；过于纵容他，他会陷入另外一种overarousal的状态，狂热固执而不再关注接收其他(比如你给他喜欢的数字玩具)。

怎么办？大家都觉得，当务之急，要宝贝学会玩，培养起宝贝对其他东西的兴趣。让他体验到玩其他东西的美妙。只有有了这个基础，才会有其他如注意力，social skills等方面的提高。ABA下一步主要任务就是让宝贝玩，不再局限在那个训练屋子里，而是搬到外面的客厅里来玩，这么做，就是为了找机会修正宝贝乱跑动的行为。Floortime,从今天开始，决定不再只是介绍有数字的玩具，开始引入其他类型的玩具，扩展宝贝的兴趣。

“wen is rarely observed using toys in a functional manner unless strongly facilitated by an adult. Wen need extensive intervention to increase functional play skills.  

Next steps:
1. Video modeling will be utilized to increase functional toy use.
2. Picture activity schedules will be utilized to keep Wen on task for extended periods of time.

It is essential that all play skills be generalized into the natural enviorment as soon as possible and adult facilitation be reduced to encrouge independent play. Adult support should be utilized to redirect Wen back to play tasks and ensure he remains on task for appropriate periods of time once he has learned how to play with target materials."

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manyou:

谢谢你的回复，给你发了短信息，请查收。

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今天，大小宝贝的两个训练师决定一起做一个session。于是，小小的训练室里，挤满了6个人。人多嘈杂，最后是两个宝贝的状态都不是很好。

妈妈发现，大家更愿意陪小宝贝玩。和哥哥比起来，小宝贝更好玩儿，因为他对什么都好奇，有反应。尽管训练师们也在特意不让宝贝落单，可是不知不觉地，注意力总是被小宝贝吸引过去了。大宝贝自己也自得其乐地一个人在一边玩。

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You can do many learning activities during daily routines. For example, you
can teach counting while putting away the dishes, by having your child count
the number of knives, forks and spoons as he or she puts them into the
drawer. Teaching is very effective when it comes as a natural part of every
day activities. Here are some ideas to help you get started….

Mealtime:
• Talk about your day and upcoming activities. Help your child remember
sequences by asking about their day.
• Teach past, present and future by talking about the morning before, what
you’re doing now, and what you plan to do.
• Make placemats out of colored construction paper and talk about the
colors.
• Teach your child to follow directions and learn sequencing by asking him
or her to help with simple food preparation: “First you need to get out the
bread, then spread the peanutbutter and then the jam,” for example. Or,
“Please put the forks, spoons and napkins on the table.”

Dressing:
• Ask your child to look out the window before he or she dresses to help
choose clothing appropriate for the weather.
• Teach you child to do fasteners on his or her clothing and shoes
• Write your child’s name on his or her hanger or peg so he or she can learn
to recognize his/her name.
• Review color concepts by talking about the colors of clothing: “Do you
want the blue shirt or the red shirt?” for example.

Bedtime
• Ask your child to tell you a story either from their imagination or
retelling a book.
• Read, read, read to your child—even 5 minutes a day makes a difference!

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Remember, young children learn best when doing “hands on” activities
with someone who cares about them.

1. Cue your child to listen to you and to look at you when you give an
instruction—sometimes children don’t follow an instruction because they
haven’t really focused on what you are saying.

2. Praise your child for listening and following directions. (“Wow, Mary, you
really listened and remembered to do both of the things I asked!” rather
than “Good girl, Mary”.)

3. Play Find It—ask your child to get two or three things and bring them to
you, or ask them to follow two or three step directions with some small
toys. For example, you could ask her to get her Teddy Bear, blanket and
favorite book and bring them to the couch, and reward her with a story
and a cuddle. Or, you could have several small toys and containers and ask
her to follow directions such as “Touch the block, put the ball in the box,
and give me the doggy,” building up to three steps.

4. Play “Concentration”. You can buy or make the cards yourself:
Paste pairs pictures or stickers to the backs of 3x5 cards or squares
of paper—you’ll need about 10 to 15 sets of cards. Lay the cards face
down on the table and take turns picking up one card, looking at it and
then turning over another card to see if it matches. As you turn over
the cards, your child should start to remember where the matching
card is located. Start with as few as six sets and gradually increase
the number of pairs of cards you use as your child learns the game,
and her memory skills improve.

5. There are some commercially available “Memory” games available: Pooh
Memory and Turtle Memory are just two.

6. Read stories with your child and ask her what happened to the characters
in the story.

7. Make a sequencing activity. You can get children’s story books at St.
Vincent’s or Goodwill or garage sales. Cut the pages of a familiar story,
such as the 3 Bears, apart, and have your child put them in the sequence
of the story. Start with 3 pictures, for example, 1 showing Goldilocks
coming to the Bears’ home, 1 showing her breaking the chair and then a
picture of the Bears coming home and finding her asleep. As your child
learns the activity, you can increase the number of steps to about 8.

8. Teach your child to do something which has several steps. For example,
teach her how to make a sandwich. Give instructions for two or three
steps at a time, for example, put the bread and peanut butter on the
counter and get a knife from the drawer.

9. Start a journal with your child. Sit down with your child in the evening
and talk about her day. She can draw a picture highlighting a favorite
activity, and you can write a word or two at the bottom, like “Playing with
Julie” She will learn to recall events which happened earlier in the day
and it is a nice way to share and wind down at the end of the day.

10. Switch roles and ask your child to give you directions or lead a game.
You can be silly and pretend to forget what to do next and have your child
remind you.

11. Ask your child to tell you things about familiar objects, places or people
which are not in view at the time. For example, “Tell me three things
about our car.”

12. Ask your child to name things from a common category, for example,
“Tell me all of the animals you can think of” Other categories would
include shapes, colors, articles of clothing, names, body parts, toys, etc.

13. Build memory and thinking skill activities into daily routines, for
example remembering what things need to be done when it is bathtime, or
what steps to take when helping Mommy bake cookies.

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Fine Motor Activities

! Drawing on a vertical surface promotes development of fine motor control in young children. You may want to tape a piece of paper to the fridge (easier to wipe off stray marks) or use an easel.

! Provide large size pencils, crayons and chalk and large surfaces to color, paint or draw on: big pieces of paper, sidewalks with sidewalk chalk, etc. (See illustrations)

! Hole punches and scissors come in lots of different designs, such as squiggly lines and different shapes. Using a hole punch can strengthen hands and using different, fun tools sometimes makes a difficult task more rewarding.

! Games like “Bedbugs” require the use of plastic tongs which strengthen hands and develop the child’s fine motor skills. Using tweezers and medicine droppers for picking up things is fun and develops hand control

! Make necklaces or jewelry or gifts using macaroni strung onto a lace or glued onto a container. You can help the child spray with gold or silver spray paint and add glitter, or paint with poster paints or food coloring.

! Working with clay and play dough strengthens hands and develops fine motor skills. Using real dough can be very interesting for children. For example, let the child knead and shape bread or pizza dough to make their own hamburger bun or pizza. (See clay recipe)

! At celebration times, your child may be interested in making cards to give to family members and friends. A wide variety of papers and embellishments (feathers, pompoms, glitter, stickers, etc.) are available to make a fancy card.

! Make a picture frame by gluing popsicle sticks onto a piece of cardboard and inserting a picture. Your child may have fun gluing rocks, pine cones, etc. onto the frame to decorate it.

! Use stencils for your child to trace and make pictures and designs

! Make placemats out of construction paper for everyday and for special events. Your child can cut out objects from magazines or catalogs and glue them to the placemat to personalize it. (You can preserve the placemat by covering it with clear “Contact” paper) Napkin rings can be easily made to match by cutting sections of a paper tube and decorating it.

! Give your child a plain paper bag to decorate for a gift bag.

! Writing in shaving cream: spray shaving cream onto the table or a baking sheet. Let your child finger paint with it. You can add drops of food coloring to make the design more fun. (See shampoo paint recipe which follows)

! Ask your child to help you cook. Stirring, spreading, placing objects are all good fine motor activities.

!Display your child’s creations prominently.

!Cover the bottom of a pan or plastic container with a layer of sand or cornmeal. Your child can use his/her finger or a stick to “write” in the sand.

! Markers and crayons come in all kinds of fun styles. Some have shapes on the end to use as stamps, and some are scented.

! Make paper airplanes ! Give your beginning scissors user card weight junk mail to learn to cut. They can “shred” you junk mail for you while learning to use their hands.

Make learning fun—do interesting projects focusing on your child’s interests. For example, if your child is interested in dinosaurs, you can make a dinosaur picture with torn paper and shapes to represent the dinosaur habitat. Finish with dinosaur stickers.

Many more ideas are available on the internet and at the public library!

Play dough
3 cups flour
1 cup salt
1 cup water
1/4 cup oil
2 Tablespoons vinegar


Mix all ingredients well. Add more water if needed, but avoid making too wet to handle. Knead until smooth. Keep in a tightly closed container or bag.

Clay to make beads
3/4 cup flour 1/2 cup salt 1/2 cup cornstarch warm water Mix dry ingredients together. Gradually add warm water until the mixture can be kneaded into shape. Make beads by rolling into little balls, piercing the balls with a toothpick or knitting needle and allowing the balls to dry. Paint the bead. Allow to dry and string them when thoroughly dry. (Does not store well—use as soon as you make it.)

Cornstarch Fun Mixture (Make this with your kids; it is fun to watch!)
1/2 cup cornstarch 1/4 cup water food coloring

teaspoon measuring spoon small plastic container

Place cornstarch into container. Slowly add water, 1 teaspoon at a time. Stir the mixture after each time you add water. Feel it with your hands.

Continue adding water until the mixture is a thick paste. Observe changes as you add the water. Without mixing them in, add 3 drops of food coloring (may be the same or different colors). Observe as the colors mix into the cornstarch.

Finger Paint 1
Put a few drops of food coloring into some plain yogurt (buy the cheapest kind for this activity—you won’t be eating it.) This dries to a shiny surface.

Finger Paint 2
1/2 cup cornstarch 3/4 cup cold water 2 cups hot water 2 teaspoons mouthwash as preservative 1 Tablespoon glycerin (at crafts stores or pharmacy)

Mix cornstarch and 1/4 cup water in a saucepan to make a paste. Add hot water, stirring to prevent lumps. Cook over low heat until mixture begins to boil. Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 cup cold water and the mouthwash. Divide and pour into jars. Add food coloring and stir to mix. Keep tightly closed.

Shampoo paint (cheaper than shaving cream and just as much fun)
3 teaspoons shampoo and a small amount of water. Whip with an electric mixer until it is thick and creamy. Add food coloring if you want to.

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“只要是functional play,管它是小孩该玩的还是大人该玩的。只要动脑了，就可以。”如果真的如你所说的那样，也就好了。可是我家孩子不是这样的。

比如带他去Playgroup,他就喜欢看着那个屋子里的两个“Exit”标志发笑，看屋子里的挂钟发笑，然后在阶梯上爬上爬下。在家里，在厅里跑来跑去，摇头晃脑，或者去玩微波炉，打开关上，风扇打开停掉。或者玩一按按钮就出声音的玩具，按，听，再按，再听。数字玩具呢，以前还有规律摆放，现在是乱弄一气。玩电脑，以前也是有点意义地输入数字字母，现在也是乱输一气了。有个leapfrog游戏机，可以涂颜色可以玩小兔过河。。。我试图教他，他比我还快，只要我有企图，就马上把游戏机关掉。我就说他现在越来越倒退，拒绝用脑子了。

正因为他对很多东西不感兴趣，训练起来很struggle，需要不停地把他拉过来，强迫他做一做。我老公说他没有点子，不知道怎么训练，我说我有的是点子，可是很多东西在宝贝身上没有共鸣response。苦于没有特别吸引宝贝的点子。

看别人家的文章，总觉得别人的孩子很听话，让练球就练球，让作手工就作手工。。。。。程度好的和父母还有简单对话。我们的孩子，太不合作了。他不哭，他不闹，他就是忽略你或者要跑开。

我们夫妻都很宠孩子，训斥他两句心里都自责难受。可是有时候看他那么不听指令不合作，真觉得我们应该给他一点颜色看看。小时候不在他面前有权威，长大之后估计更难了。我自认为自己做不到“权威”，就对老公说你严厉一点吧，至少让宝贝服从一个人。可是他也觉得宝贝可怜，不狠心。。。。作慈父慈母容易，作有智慧的严父严母难啊。

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melon妈妈：

几个家长私下里给我写信安慰，如同你说的一样，孩子在慢慢变，随着长大孩子慢慢会变好一些。最后的breakthrough，其实很大取决于孩子自身的发展。你们这些走在前面的人的话，会给我很大的安慰与信心。怎么做好父母，我们也在学习思考调整。谢谢你们！

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弟弟一直喜欢和宝贝争夺玩具，宝贝很紧张。不过，宝贝很善良，从来不打弟弟。即使弟弟喜欢用手轻轻拍宝贝的头，宝贝也从来不还手。

今天，妈妈陪着宝贝和弟弟在训练室里玩。不知怎么的，这一次，弟弟不再争抢哥哥的玩具，而是拿起哥哥喜欢的数字block，一个一个的给哥哥。弟弟递一个，宝贝接一个，弟弟再递一个，宝贝再接一个。这样几个回合，宝贝突然主动凑过去，抱着弟弟的头亲吻了一下。这样玩了又一会，宝贝又过去抱着弟弟吻了一下。

那一刻，妈妈的心都化了，眼睛也湿润了。宝贝儿，那温柔的举动背后，是不是有很复杂的情感体验呢？妈妈不知道你脑袋里是怎么想的。是不是也在欣赏感激弟弟的好表现呢？

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manyou:

非常感谢你提供的信息和鼓励。。。。

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今天，M女士来我们家里访问。她是附近某个自闭组织的工作人员。很热心，给我们讲了她孩子的故事，很鼓动人。更让我们感激的，她愿意免费为我们作advocate，以后在宝贝的IEP会议上为我们据理力争。－－－爸爸妈妈千恩万谢，感动不已。

和S女士联系上了。她的孩子有自闭诊断，正在宝贝以后要去的学校上学。她给我提供的任何信息，都是有价值的参考信息。寻寻觅觅，终于找到一个真正意义上在一个战"hao2毫”里的战友了，而且是一个热心肠的人。

和自闭作斗之后，有了很多很多我感激不尽的人。但愿，我也能有心有力助人，给同行人提供帮助。



以上文本借助www.InputKing.com在线中文输入法输入

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今天我们母子在电脑屏幕上输字玩。妈妈让输入“bed",宝贝竟然输入了”bird";妈妈让输入“sun",宝贝竟然输入了"son".妈妈很惊讶，爸爸妈妈没有教过宝贝怎么拼写这两个单词，宝贝怎么知道的？是不是平时识别卡片时自己注意了并且记忆下来了？既然自己记忆了这两个，那么是不是还应该记得其他的单词的拼写呢？

妈妈一直感觉，宝贝的视觉记忆不错，妈妈该怎么利用这个优点进行训练呢？

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昨天开了会。EI对宝贝重新评估（上次评估是一年之前），学区的负责人来我们家，观察宝贝观察EI的评估。

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manyou，

期待你的更多的经验之谈。我很感激你的回贴。
想私下和你联系，请查你的短信息。

-OY

oy

manyou，

期待你的更多的经验之谈。我很感激你的回贴。
想私下和你联系，请查你的短信息。

-OY

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背景....

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vivian，melon的感觉没有错。我真的是在痛苦期。其他的妈妈们谈自己的感慨，都是后悔以前把孩子耽误了，我却相反。孩子一岁以前的发展，我不是很后悔，因为我以前一直很在意亲子关系，曾经就主张妈妈是宝贝的最好玩具，让宝贝和妈妈玩而不是和玩具玩，没有给宝贝多少独处的时间。

可是现在，我已经力不从心。照顾两个宝贝，是个双刃剑。在小宝贝还需要很多attention的时候，对大宝贝，我很多时候只有内疚自责。他和我一个人相处时，注意力情绪都还不是特别糟糕，可是我们母子三人一起时，更多的时候他就要逃开，注意力也不集中。看着他跑来跑去，我去干预，而小宝贝拉着我哭要attention的时候，我的心真的在流血：两个宝贝，对谁我都对不起。可是我没有选择，因为我们财力有限，没有能力再去支付另外一份daycare钱。再说，小宝贝，他的发展也属于落后的，在他的发展还不是很明朗之前，我也不太敢把他交付给daycare。---我真觉得自己完全被“stuck”。 四面楚歌。

经过这个事件，我也仔细检讨了自己。伤心难受又怎么样。生活还是老样子。对孩子对自己对家庭更无益处。还不如let it be，尽我所能吧。

谢谢大家的安慰。。。。。希望我的事件也能启示其他生活在西方的人，不惹上这样的麻烦。