孩子马上进入青春期了，我的苦恼好无处可诉

潼妈

我的孩子潼潼12岁了，女孩，比较典型的自闭症，星期一到五白天在特教学校还好，平时放假了我和孩子爸就像看牛一样轮流陪着她，她奶奶爷爷有点小钱，当年因为重男轻女逼我打了两胎女娃，一直到潼潼我坚决不去照B超才生下来，四岁了才发现是自闭症，奶奶娘家弟弟也有一个儿子是自闭症，可恨她奶奶一看到她就烦，老让我们锁着别让她出来，也不知是不是报应，她奶奶现在得了帕金森综合症走不了路，平时看她对潼潼的态度，我真是心凉啊.可是，好害怕孩子长大后还是无法自理，现在洗漱、吃饭在我的训练下基本可以了，但是还是不太懂上洗手间后要擦屁股。孩子的身体开始发育，马上进入青春期了，好无措，不知怎样才能教会她青春期的问题.

binfeng2000

首先要教卫生巾的问题了,早点打算,早早训练,不然的话是说来就来的.

BertMom

下面引用由[U]潼妈[/U]发表的内容：

我的孩子潼潼12岁了，女孩，比较典型的自闭症，星期一到五白天在特教学校还好，平时放假了我和孩子爸就像看牛一样轮流陪着她，她奶奶爷爷有点小钱，当年因为重男轻女逼我打了两胎女娃，一直到潼潼我坚决不去照B超...

潼妈, 我的儿子也是12岁, 快13岁了. 也是典型的自闭症.已经进入青春期. 我们共同帮助, 共同摸索, 不要怕. 兵来将挡，水来土掩.

何子

潼妈，关健点不在奶奶身上，不用多想她。

带着孩子生活，日子很长。孩子能平稳一些，你的生活就会更好安排。

BertMom

有谁能把这篇文章翻译成中文就好了.

Puberty Contribued By Melissa Dubie

At a parent group meeting, a mother asked “since my daughter’s mental age is about a third grade level, why is she starting her period? This doesn’t seem possible.” All children go through puberty regardless of IQ or social skills. The brain does not tell the body to stop growing if the boy or girl’s developmental level is younger than their age. Puberty is a stage of development just like moving from being an infant to a toddler. Puberty is considered to begin around age 12 for girls and age 14 for boys. The physical changes of puberty are centered on the development of secondary characteristics and the onset of menstruation (in girls) and ejaculation (in boys).

For girls, the physical changes usually begin between ages 7 and 14. Girls begin to have growth spurts, develop breasts, pubic and underarm hair, and have vaginal discharge. It becomes increasingly important to have good hygiene by taking a shower or bath each day, washing your hair, underarms, and vaginal area. A girls menstruation (period) usually follows within a year or two of these changes. The average age a girl starts menstruating is around 12 or 13 but some girls start as early as 9 and others are as late as 17 (Strong, DeVault, Sayad & Yarber, 2005).

For example, as a parent sees their daughter start to develop physical changes of puberty, it is essential to start talking to her about menstruation. A father called Indiana Resource Center for Autism concerned that his daughter screams loudly and runs around the room every time she sees the sight of blood even if the cut on her finger is small from a piece of paper. She doesn’t become calm until they put a bandage on the cut. How will she react about blood from her vagina? It was discussed that the term for the menstrual pad would be called a very large bandage. This language would help their daughter transition to starting to menstruate. In addition, the family decided it was going to be essential to start practicing the steps from wearing a pad to changing it regularly before the important day came. Here are some ideas to assist in that process.

•Put red food coloring in her underwear to show what the blood might look like when she starts her period.
•Have her mom model for her the steps to wearing and changing a sanitary pad. If possible, include other girls in the house as well.
•Mark the pad and panties with a different color to show where the pad should be placed in her underwear.
•Go to the store and buy a few different kinds of sanitary pads. One could try different sizes, thicknesses, wings or no wings, fragrances, and brands. View www.kotex.com to identify some of the options this company has available.
•Make a visual schedule of how often the sanitary pad should be changed. Remember her school schedule. Try to arrange the changing time with the times that she would change classes (normal breaks in the day) at school. The more the schedule is the same at home and school, the easier the transition will be.
•Watch a video on a teens health website if they want to know why the menstrual cycle is necessary: http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/menstruation.html.
•If your daughter learns best with facts, go to the bookstore to buy a book on getting your period. See references at end of article. Having a full explanation of her menstrual phases may help your daughter transition to this part of her life. For others, the information may be overwhelming. As a parent you have learned what manner your daughter learns best. Apply the information you already know about her to this stage called puberty.
•Plan a celebration party for when she starts her period. Growing into a woman is exciting and should be celebrated.
For boys, the physical changes usually begin around age 13. Some boys start prematurely at age 12 while others begin as late as 17 or 18 years of age. Generally, boys’ puberty lags behind girls by two years. The secondary characteristic for boy’s includes: growth spurts, bigger hands and feet, increased muscle mass, deepened voice, facial and underarm hair, and more hair in the pubic area. Their penis and testicles also develop (Strong, DeVault, Sayad, Yarber, 2005). Like girls, it is imperative to be showering or bathing each day. Be sure to wash hair, underarms, and in genital area.

At puberty, boys begin to ejaculate semen. Many boys are unnerved by the first appearance of semen which will probably occur while sleeping (e.g., wet dreams). It is important to differentiate to your son that he is not urinating in bed. One parent shared that her son didn’t want to disappoint her because he was a “big boy” now and didn’t wet his bed. So when he started having nocturnal emissions (e.g., wet dreams), he was afraid to tell her because he thought she would be disappointed. His behavior escalated and he refused to go to bed at night. In addition, boys may have erections at odd or unplanned times. This is part of puberty and one should not be alarmed. Unplanned erections will go away during puberty.

What can parents do about these changes in boys?

•Don’t overreact or under react. Remember your son probably doesn’t have any idea of what is happening to him when he has nocturnal emissions. Change the sheets or have him help you.
•Use a calm voice. Don’t yell. Use the time to explain what is happening during puberty with your son. Relate the nocturnal emissions to other changes he is experiencing (secondary characteristics), then explain that this is part of puberty and growing into being a man.
•Go to the library or bookstore to read about how boy’s bodies change from being a teenager to a man.

For parents, when talking about boy and girl body parts use the medical terminology. Language concepts are difficult for many individuals with autism spectrum disorder. Therefore, if they learn the word “pee pee” to mean penis when they are young it will be awkward and inappropriate for them to still be calling their male genitalia “pee pee” when they are young adults or men. It is best to start with the medical terminology from the beginning. Get used to saying the words such as penis, testicles and pubic hair for boys and vagina, breasts, and menstruation for girls. Here are other critical points to ponder:

•Before you can effectively communicate your values about sexuality to your children, you need to know what you believe and why.
•You are the main educators of sex for your son and/or daughter. Whether you are comfortable or not, wouldn’t you rather they get factual information from you than to follow a classmate’s or friend’s advice? See www.familiesaretalking.org for information.
•You must be “askable” (Gordon & Gordon, 2000). This means one should be prepared for any question or incident that involves your son or daughters sexuality. Always say, “That is a good question.” You can decide to answer the question immediately or say, “We’ll discuss it when we get home.” If you answer with a positive tone, then your child will continue to ask questions. Also, remember to answer the questions simply and directly. Don’t give too much information to your adolescent.
•Children are not perfect. They make mistakes and it’s up to us to turn their mistakes into lessons.
Remember to use the same teaching strategies that you have used to teach your children other skills. Just apply these strategies to teaching them about menstruation and nocturnal emissions as they go through puberty. Some of these strategies may include visual schedules or check off lists, videos, facts in books, pictures of what is happening to their bodies, stories to predict what might occur, or specific terminology. Think of puberty as just another stage of development. Embrace this time and move forward.

潼妈

谢谢大家给我回帖，让我在黑暗中看到一点点光明，得到大家的鼓励.我虽然很辛苦，但看到潼潼哪怕一点点进步心里也是莫大的欣慰，潼潼很喜欢吃肉和喝汤，身体很壮，力气也大，凡是自己想要的东西会自己拿，攀高爬低时身体平衡很好，但多动坐不住，自己有要求时会简单表达，很喜欢笑，是很美丽可爱的小姑娘，她本来两三岁时候会仿说很多儿歌和古诗，但四岁时一下子不说话啦，在幼儿园不合群，到五岁我才知道有自闭症，马上送到当地的自闭症康复中心但程度严重被拒收，好不容易才又送到一位自闭症家长自己开设康复中心，一直到六岁才又重新开口叫妈妈，现在进了特教学校，但是十个阿拉伯数字教了差不多十年也不会，中文字也不认得，可是我带她到外面时教她认的树木和水果却能惊人准确的学会，文化知识这方面我已经死心了，只希望在生活自理方面能学会。

何子

对什么孩子来说，生活自理都是最重要的。
只是要求可以不同一些。

潼妈，加油，你现在做起来就好。

杨柳风

青春期  作者 Melissa Dubie
在一个家长聚会上，一位妈妈说：“既然我的孩子智力年龄在小学三年级的水平，为什么她开始来月经了？这似乎不可能啊。”无论孩子的智商或者是社交技能在什么阶段，所有的孩子都会经历青春期。如果一个男孩或女孩的发育水平低于其年龄，那么他们的大脑不会告诉身体停止发育。正如从婴儿长大至幼童，青春期也是一个发育阶段。一般认为，女孩的青春期从12岁开始，而男孩从14岁开始。青春期的身体变化主要体现在第二性征，即女孩开始来月经，而男孩出现了射精。
  对于女孩子来说，身体变化一般在7到14岁之间开始。女孩开始迅猛发育：胸部发育，开始长出阴毛和腋毛，并且开始有阴道分泌物。女孩开始来月经的平均年龄是12 或13岁左右，但是有些女孩在9岁就会开始，而有些则晚至17岁开始。(Strong, DeVault, Sayad & Yarber, 2005).
  例如，当家长看到他们的女儿开始青春期的身体变化时，有必要和孩子就有关月经进行交谈。一位父亲打电话给印第安纳州自闭症资源中心，在电话中说他的女儿每次一见到血，即使是一张纸把她的手划了个小口子，她也会大声惊叫并且满屋子跑。直到给往她伤口上贴一个创可贴，她才能安静下来。那么她会对经血有什么样的反应？大家讨论认为，可以称卫生巾为一个大创可贴。这种语言可以帮助他们的女儿过度到月经期。而且，这个家庭认为有必要在月经初潮这个重要的日子来临之前，开始练习如何用卫生巾以及定期更换卫生巾。如下是如何协助这一过程的一些想法。
1. 把红色实物颜料涂在她的内裤上，让她看到当月经来时经血会是什么样的。
2.让妈妈做示范怎样用卫生巾以及怎么样更换卫生巾。如果可能，可让家庭的其他女孩参与进来。
3.把卫生巾和内裤用不同颜色做标记，告诉她应该把卫生巾放在内裤的什么位置。
4.去商店买几种不同的卫生巾。可以尝试使用不同大小，不同厚度，有护翼或无护翼，不同香味和牌子的卫生巾。浏览www.kotex.com网站去确定公司的产品选择。
5.制作一个图片计划表，来告诉孩子多久去更换一次卫生巾。切记她在学校的时间安排。尽量使得更换卫生巾的时间和学校课间休息的时间一致。家里和学校的时间安排越一致，这个过渡就月容易。
6.如果他们想知道为什么月经周期很有必要，可以观看青少年健康网站上面的视频：http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/menstruation.html.
7.如果你们的女儿可以从实例中学得更好，去书店买一本有关经期的书。查看文章末尾的参考书。给孩子详细讲解有关月经期的词语会帮助她过渡到这一阶段。对其他人而言，信息量会十分巨大。作为家长，你已经知道你的女儿通过什么方式能够学得最好。把你已经知道的有关你女儿的信息应用到月经期这一阶段。
8.当她开始初潮时，举办一个派对。变成一个女人是一件令人兴奋和只得庆祝的事情。
对于男孩子，身体的变化一般13岁左右开始。有些男孩过早的12岁开始，而有些则晚至17或18岁开始。一般而言，男孩的青春期比女孩的晚到2年。男孩青春期的第二性征包括：发育迅猛，手脚变得更大，肌肉块增加，声音变得更低沉，脸部和腋下长毛，以及更多阴毛。他们的阴精和睾丸也开始发育(Strong, DeVault, Sayad, Yarber, 2005).像女孩一样，他们也有必要每天淋雨或洗澡。一定要清洗阴毛，腋毛以及外阴部区域。
  在青春期，男孩子开始射精。许多男孩子会对精液的出现感到烦恼不安，而射精一般是发生在睡梦中（也就是梦遗）。有必要让你的儿子区分开他不是尿床了。一位家长分享说她的儿子因为觉得自己是个大男孩了，不想让妈妈失望，所以没有尿过床。因此当他开始夜间射精时，不敢告诉妈妈，认为这样妈妈就会很失望。他的行为升级，开始拒绝上床睡觉。而且，男孩子会在奇怪或无计划的时间阴茎勃起。这是青春期的一部分，不要因此而惊慌，无意间的勃起会在青春期消失。
那么对于男孩子以上这些变化，家长应该做些什么？
1.不要过度反应，或是不做出应有的反应。记住当你的儿子发生梦遗时，他可能不知道自己到底发生了什么。
2.使用平静的口气。不要吼叫。花时间给你儿子解释青春期发生什么变化。把梦遗和他正在经历的其他变化（第二性征）联系起来，然后解释这是青春期的一部分，他正在变成一个男人。
3.去图书馆或是书店，阅读有关男孩子从少年到男人身体变化的书。
4.对于家长，当谈论男孩和女孩身体部位时，请使用医学术语。对于自闭症谱系的孩子个体而言，语言概念很难理解。因此，如果在他们小时，学习词语“小便”，代表阴茎，当他们成年或称为男人时，如果仍然称他们的男性生殖器为“小便”就很尴尬和不合适。最好从一开始就使用医学术语。学会习惯使用诸如此类的词语：阴茎，睾丸和阴毛，以及女孩子的阴道，乳房和月经期。如下有些关键点需要仔细考虑。
5.在你能有效的和孩子交流你的价值观和性欲之前，你需要知道你的信仰以及为什么。
6.你是你的儿子/女儿的有关性的第一教育人。无论你是否感到自在，你是不是更愿意他们从你这儿得到事实性信息而不是听从同学或朋友的建议？可从网站www.familiesaretalking.org上得到此方面的信息。
7.你必须是“可询问的”。 (Gordon & Gordon, 2000). 这就是说一个人必须为你的女孩或儿子就性提出的任何问题或发生事情做好准备。要总是说“这个问题问得好”，你可以决定立即回答问题或者是说“当我们到家时再讨论这个问题”。如果你用一个很积极的口气回答，你的孩子会继续提出问题。同样记住，要简单和直接回答问题。不要把过多的信息灌输给你的青少年孩子。

8.孩子们不完美。他们也会犯错误。把错误变成教训取决于我们家长。
记住把你教孩子其他技能的一些教学策略应用到青春期的教育上。就是当他们经历青春期时，使用这些对策来告诉他们有关月经和梦遗的信息。其中一些策略包括：图片计划表或核对清单，视频，书中实例，他们身体变化的图片，预测他们身体变化的故事，或者是特定术语。把青春期当成另外一个发育阶段。

mae520joy

谢杨柳风！

ZHY

我儿子似乎在10岁时就进入青春期了，表现为胳膊腿上开始长出汉毛，鸡鸡上也开始长毛，声音变粗。鸡鸡上长毛时还问我：“妈妈我这为什么长毛？”我当时也挺纳闷的，心想怎么这么早就长阴毛了，但还是故作镇定的回答：“这很正常，男孩长大了那里都会长毛。”小时候换牙也比别人换的早一年多。不知道算不算正常。
有没有遗精倒是没有留意。

smilelady1972

儿子11岁了,以前一直上正常小学,但他基本学不到什么,有阿姨陪,现在看无法继续上正常学校了,我们想转去特殊学校.你们都还上班吗,孩子谁来陪呢,我现在工作压力很大,身体也不太好,不知道是否要辞职.