我要坚强，我会是个好妈妈，丹丹相信我！

丹妮妈妈

大家好，我是以琳的新成员，今天找到这个地方，看了很多平时比较模糊和不了解的资料，心里又是高兴又是难过。我在一年半以前知道“自闭”两个字的时候，吓得全身瘫软，一直以来用女儿的小进步鼓励（或者说欺骗）自己，她不是，但是，我觉得现在不能在侥幸下去了。
我女儿叫丹妮，小名丹丹，我们一直觉得她是个活泼可爱的好孩子。她11个月的时候开始自己走路，1岁的时候会拿着电话说“喂”，很喜欢妈妈，和家里人也很亲热。可是她到了18个月的时候还不会讲话，中间有几次有意识的叫过“妈妈”。要东西的话会自己想办法拿，拿不到就会拉着大人指。因为是白天外公外婆带的，和其他小朋友一起玩的机会很少，我们没有发现她的社交问题。可是2岁了，会在有要求的时候有目的地讲“拿、抱、背、糖”等单字，不会混淆，都是其他的都不讲，也不叫人，连爸妈也不叫，依然粘人，但是叫她基本没有反应，不理人，但是她自己吃饭，大小便会自己找马桶脱裤子，喜欢和大人玩游戏，有眼神交流，会看大人的脸色，知道你是不是生她的气了，没有情绪异常和刻板行为，不抗拒陌生环境。期间看了许多医生，都认为是语言发育迟缓，2岁半的时候，我们知道了自闭症，去了重庆市儿科医院，结果精神科的教授说不是自闭。我们大大的放心了，然后丹丹上了幼儿园，半年时间，进步很大，听指令好很多，一叫就有反应，能和其他小朋友一起做早操，在老师的引导下也可以和小朋友玩简单的游戏，能讲2个字的词语，会认30个左右的字，会数数。但是规则意识没有，不知道要等待和大家轮流玩，上课的时候如果内容不吸引她也容易自己跑出去玩，但是基本一叫就回来。
我约了5月9号去广州三院看医生，目前不知道该从哪里入手在家帮助女儿，请各位有经验的妈妈爸爸指导我，孩子的爸爸现在在准备博士考试的最后冲刺，我还没有告诉他，他也是一直和我一样侥幸着。对于家人也不能讲太多，怕大家都伤心，终于找到一个地方好好倾诉了！谢谢！

saimeng1r

sweet love taboo

　It’s not easy to have a great relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or spouse. But it’s not impossible, either — it takes some work, of course, but it’s work, work that’s a joy when everything comes together.

　　A lot of times, though, the work isn’t enough. We get in our own way with ideas and attitudes about relationships that are not only wrong, but often work to undermine our relationships no matter how hard we work at it.

　　I’ve watched a lot of breakups (some of them my own). I’ve seen dramatic flare-ups and drawn-out slow fades, and I’ve tried to pay attention to what seems to be going on. Here are a few of the things I’ve seen that cause people to destroy their own relationships.

　　1. You’re playing to win

　　One of the deadliest killers of relationships is the competitive urge. I don’t mean competition in the sense that you can’t stand to lose at tennis, I mean the attitude that the relationship itself is a kind of game that you’re tying to win. People in competitive relationships are always looking for an advantage, the upper hand, some edge they can hold over their partner’s head. If you feel that there are things you can’t tell your partner because she or he will use it against you, you’re in a competitive relationship — but not for long.wow gold,

　　2. You don’t trust

　　There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won’t cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won’t leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say. The second that level of trust is gone, whether because one of you takes advantage of that trust and does something horrible or because one of you thinks the other has, the relationship is over — even if it takes 10 more years for you to break up.

　　3. You don’t talk

　　Too many people hold their tongues about things that bother or upset them in their relationship, either because they don’t want to hurt their partner, or because they’re trying to win. (See #1 above; example: “If you don’t know why I’m mad, I’m certainly not going to tell you!”) While this might make things easier in the short term, in the long run it gradually erodes the foundation of the relationship away. Little issues grow into bigger and bigger problems — problems that don’t get fixed because your partner is blissfully unaware, or worse, is totally aware of them but thinks they don’t really bother you. Ultimately, keeping quiet reflects a lack of trust — and, as I said that’s the death of a relationship.

　　4. You don’t listen

　　Listening — really listening — is hard. It’s normal to want to defend ourselves when we hear something that seems like criticism, so instead of really hearing someone out, we interrupt to explain or excuse ourselves, or we turn inward to prepare our defense. But your partner deserves your active listening. S/he even deserves you to hear the between-the-lines content of daily chit-chat, to suss out his/her dreams and desires when even s/he doesn’t even know exactly what they are. If you can’t listen that way, at least to the person you love, there’s a problem.

　　5. You spend like a single person

　　This was a hard lesson for me to learn — until it broke up a 7-year relationship. When you’re single, you can buy whatever you want, whenever you want, with little regard for the future. It’s not necessarily wise, but you’re the only one who has to pay the consequences. When you are with someone in a long-term relationship, that is no longer a possibility. Your partner — and your children, if there are or will be any — will have to bear the brunt of your spending, so you’d better get in the habit of taking care of household necessities first and then, if there’s anything left over, of discussing with your partner the best way to use it.

　　This is an increasing problem these days, because more and more people are opting to keep their finances separate, even when they’re married. There’s nothing wrong with that kind of arrangement in and of itself, but it demands more communication and involvement between the partners, not less. If you’re spending money as if it was your money and nobody else has a right to tell you what to do with it, your relationship is doomed.wow gold,

　　6. You’re afraid of breaking up

　　Nobody in a truly happy partnership is afraid of breaking up. If you are, that’s a big warning sign that something’s wrong. But often, what’s wrong is the fear itself. Not only does it betray a lack of trust, but it shows a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem — you’re afraid that there’s no good reason for someone to want to be with you, and that sooner or later your partner will “wise up” and take off. So you pour more energy into keeping up the appearance of a happy relationships than you do into building yourself up as a person. Quite frankly, this isn’t going to be very satisfying for you, and it also isn’t going to be very satisfying for your partner.

zhuaj

加油！说不定她就是一个正常的孩子，只是稍微发育迟一点而已。