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Strangers in a Social World — Asperger Syndrome and Bullying
By Jennifer Sisk, MA
Misinterpretation of social interactions coupled with above-average intelligence make children with Asperger syndrome perfect targets for bullying.
Lashanda is a 7-year-old diagnosed with Asperger syndrome (AS). She is usually alone at recess, and instead of playing with the other students, she spends her time walking on the border, surrounding the play area. She thinks about her favorite videogame and replays it over and over in her mind. Lashanda doesn’t like the noisy playground and this activity helps her “go away” and relax enough to tolerate recess. The other kids make fun of Lashanda behind her back and enjoy taunting her ... they know she hates to swing and they just enjoy seeing her reaction because Lashanda says the same thing every time, “Go away, I hate to swing!” A group of girls ... all go up to her at once and talk at the same time asking her to swing with them. They keep following her around saying the same thing over and over, “Lashanda, come swing with us.” Lashanda starts yelling at the girls and tries to push them away. One of the girls trips on a rock and falls down.... She begins to cry, which brings over the playground supervisor. Lashanda is still upset and yelling when the teacher arrives. When the teacher asks what happened, the girls tell on Lashanda for pushing and yelling at them. The teacher is very upset and concerned and yells at Lashanda to come with her immediately. Lashanda is so upset she can’t comply and runs from the teacher when she grabs for her arm. Other adults come to help, and Lashanda is carried into the school kicking and screaming. Lashanda is suspended for three days.
— Excerpt from Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying: Practical Solutions for Surviving the Social World
Every day, children are bullied at school, and in many cases, they ignore or avoid the bully. Imagine repeatedly being the target of school bullies, but not understanding that you are. Or, imagine being manipulated into playing a mean prank on another student because you believe it means you’ll become friends, and then not understanding why you are being punished. For children with AS, every school day is another occasion to be a target for bullies. And, research has shown that children with AS are more likely to be bullying targets.
Adroit bullies can easily manipulate children with AS into behaving inappropriately without understanding the social ramifications of their behavior. “Because of their social naivete, children with AS may not even recognize when they are being bullied and are susceptible to being talked into doing things that could get them in trouble or will make them the object of ridicule,” says Rebekah Heinrichs, MSN, MSEd, an educational consultant specializing in autism and AS, and the author of the book Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying — Practical Solutions for Surviving the Social World.
In her book, Heinrichs summarizes evidence for bullying in schools. Studies, surveys, and anecdotal reports on bullying in United States schools indicate that approximately 20% of middle and high school students are targets of moderate or frequent bullying, roughly 30% of students in grades 6 to 10 reported being involved in bullying as a target, bully, or both, and approximately 75% of school-aged students report at least one incident of bullying during the school year. And, each day, 160,000 children do not go to school because they are afraid of being bullied.
Researchers estimate that roughly 10% to 15% of children who are bullied become targets for frequent and severe bullying incidents, for various reasons, and approximately 5% to 10% of those targeted for such chronic bullying will require substantial support as a result. “Children with AS are overrepresented in this subgroup who are so frequently, chronically, and too often severely bullied and excluded that if they do not receive significant support from adults, they will most likely not be able to progress positively in school and certainly will not reach their academic potential,” Heinrichs says. Because children with AS stand out and are alone more often than their typical peers, they are at greater risk for bullying and shunning at a time when peer acceptance is most critical for academic and social development, Heinrichs writes in her book.
However, there is very little research on bullying and children with AS, says Heinrichs. One survey of parents whose children have AS revealed that, compared with the general student population, children with AS may be four times more likely to be bullied. “In my own experiences with facilitating parent support groups and working with children of all ages with AS, I believe the incidence of bullying may be closer to 100% in this population,” Heinrichs says.
Why are children with AS so much more likely to be targets of bullying? According to Heinrichs, bullying involves a power imbalance, and for children with AS, the power imbalance is often extreme, due to deficits in social interaction skills. Dubbed “little professors” by the Austrian pediatrician who first described the condition because of their above-average intelligence and ability to talk about special interests in intense detail, children with AS misinterpret social interactions, have difficulties interpreting social cues, and may disrupt class with behaviors considered rude or strange by others. Other general characteristics of AS, including emotional vulnerability, anxiousness, inability to easily adapt to change, and clumsiness add to the likelihood that children with AS will become targets for bullying.
Kathleen M. Howe, MSW, LCSW, a psychotherapist in private practice, has some experience working with children, adolescents, and adults with AS. At her practice, Transitions Counseling & Coaching in Saylorsburg, PA, she helps couples in which one partner has AS. “With AS, difficulties with social behavior are one of the most important defining criteria,” says Howe. “People with AS lack the natural ability to see the subtexts of social interaction. They have an impaired ability to read others’ feelings, gauge level of interest in a conversation, and understand intended meanings. They may lack the ability to communicate their own emotional state, resulting in well-meaning remarks that may offend. They find it hard to know what is ‘acceptable.’ Thus, in middle school especially, where the pressure to conform is greatest and tolerance for differences the least, the AS child may be left out, misunderstood, teased, or bullied.”
This intensity and frequency of bullying, Heinrichs writes, puts children with AS at “considerable risk for serious, long-lasting consequences.” Some consequences include depression, poor self-esteem, suicidal ideation, anger management issues, and chronic stress.
The Brain Science of Bullying
“We are learning a great deal about the brain, stress, and the limbic system—the emotional center of the brain—and about emotional intelligence,” says Gary R. Plaford, MSW, director of social services at Monroe County Community Schools Corporation. In his book Bullying and the Brain: Using Cognitive and Emotional Intelligence to Help Kids Cope, Plaford describes how the brain’s anatomy and function relate to emotions and behaviors associated with bullying. The locus of control when emotions are involved—such as being upset when bullied—is the limbic system, where the “fight or flight” response is triggered, Plaford says.
Constant exposure to bullying can cause chronic stress that may result in long-term consequences into adulthood. Recent psychiatric research, summarized in Plaford’s book, suggests that high levels of stress in childhood are linked to a shrunken hippocampus, the part of the limbic system important in managing stress, and this affects the individual’s ability to manage stress for the rest of his or her life. Hence, childhood stress may well be a predictor and precursor of stress-related disorders in adulthood, says Plaford. “Being bullied regularly certainly falls in the category of high childhood stress,” he notes.
Plaford also proposes using the brain’s emotional functions to facilitate bullying prevention. Recognizing emotions and feeling empathy for others is a critical part of emotional intelligence, says Plaford. “The bully tends to lack empathy for others. No individual can recognize emotions in another or feel empathy for another if they cannot first recognize their own emotions and have some control over them,” he explains. In his book, Plaford discusses external and internal interventions for addressing bullying. “External interventions are the monitoring and controlling aspects. Internal interventions involve teaching, modeling behaviors, and building emotional intelligence in students so they have the skills and resources to make better decisions,” he says.
In his book, Plaford discusses key methods for developing emotional intelligence, including building connections, creating emotional language or emotional literacy, addressing emotional triggers, and utilizing routine, which can, in turn, contribute to bullying prevention. Helping students build connections with significant adults can increase the likelihood that, when targeted for bullying, children will seek assistance. Developing emotional literacy—the expression and understanding of one’s own emotions and empathy for others—may help bullies better comprehend the emotional consequences of their bullying. Helping children understand their emotional triggers can influence their thought patterns and behaviors toward bullying. Employing routines can help diminish stress and calm upset students.
Utilizing routines, Plaford says, may be especially helpful for children with AS who are bullied. “It is interesting to note that children with autistic spectrum disorders tend to cry, have a tantrum, or run when their routines are disrupted. This behavior originates from the ‘fight or flight’ response in the brain’s limbic system,” says Plaford. By engaging routines to help them regain control and calm, the locus of control is brought back to the brain’s left hemisphere, Plaford writes in his book.
Responsibility for Bullying Prevention: Unreasonable Expectations
Because children with AS are so frequently targeted for bullying and they lack the inherent ability to interpret social situations, they may benefit from interventions and educational programs that increase emotional, behavioral, and social skills awareness. “Individuals with AS must learn the unwritten rules of social behavior intellectually rather than intuitively,” says Howe. Working on emotional triggers to bullying, as Plaford suggests, may help children with AS learn to calm and control their own emotional response to bullying. However, it is unreasonable to expect children with AS to handle bullying completely on their own, Heinrichs notes.
“Proactive adults are the key to successful bullying prevention,” says Heinrichs. Teaching children with AS social and problem-solving skills, emotional literacy, and self-awareness may help them learn how to build meaningful relationships and succeed in school. “However, the child with AS who is actively being bullied and excluded—the most vulnerable individual—cannot be expected to ‘beat' the bullies. AS students require support and protection from adults and peers. And, their ability to learn and stay safe in school will depend upon exactly how much we are willing and able to provide them with the support they so desperately need,” Heinrichs says. Unfortunately, some children with AS may not even be aware when they are being bullied; therefore, involved adults need to actively monitor social situations where bullying can occur.
However, myths about bullying prevent many adults from understanding and addressing bullying and bullying prevention, Heinrichs says. “Research indicates that adults almost always underestimate the extent and impact of bullying compared to what students report they are experiencing,” she notes. Teachers, parents, and other involved adults generally view bullying as a “fact of life” or “kids will be kids” issue, and that children can handle bullying on their own. Bullying has been shown to interfere with learning for students without AS, learning disabilities, and other conditions. According to research on school violence, the typical high school student copes with bullying by learning to predict the behavior of bullies, and that mental energy used to stay safe detracted from academic learning. “If ‘typical’ students are using too much energy trying to predict bullying behaviors and stay safe in school, how much energy might students with AS be using? Predicting behavior is a clear area of difficulty for individuals with AS. How can these extremely vulnerable individuals survive school when the main coping mechanism they need is severely compromised, and their behaviors and social deficits put them at risk for bullying and exclusion?” questions Heinrichs.
“It is critically important for adults to understand that individuals with AS are at extremely high risk for bullying, based on available research and the challenges of living with AS. Children with AS will experience difficulties in the social arena and will exhibit behaviors that set them up for being perceived as different by their peers,” Heinrichs emphasizes.
Therefore, she says, adults who work with and advocate for these students must acknowledge this fact and be provided with information about AS and how it affects education and peer relationships. “If adults ignore bullying or do nothing, they imply acceptance of the bullying behaviors and set standards for behavioral expectations that can increase feelings of self-blame and hopelessness for the unfortunate individuals being targeted,” Heinrichs says.
She also emphasizes the importance for adults to model behaviors they expect from children. Numerous incidents of parents and adults in authority positions (teachers, scout leaders, coaches) facilitating bullying or even bullying themselves are documented on the forum of her Web site for individuals with AS and parents of children with AS (www.aspergerinformation.org).
In her book, Heinrichs cites several examples of “educational bullying,” when teachers and other involved adults use authority to either intentionally or unintentionally harm students, causing them distress. For instance, sarcasm may be used as humor or to control the classroom by many teachers and can inadvertently create a hostile classroom environment because students will model teacher behavior. Heinrichs says, “Children with AS are more likely to experience educational bullying because of the innate characteristics of AS.” The subtleties of sarcasm are not apparent for children with AS and can elicit behavioral responses that will encourage other students to make fun of them, she explains.
In addition to adults intervening to prevent bullying, other children can also assist in bullying prevention. “Peer education is also critical because we perform an injustice to other students if we ask them to feel empathy and understanding for a peer with AS when they have absolutely no understanding of their unique challenges and strengths,” Heinrichs emphasizes.
“Students, especially bystanders, can play a major role in establishing an atmosphere where bullying is not tolerated,” Plaford says.
Unfortunately, as Heinrichs notes in her book, bystanders either reinforce bullying by providing an audience or supporting the bully, rather than defending the target. Fear of retaliation and peer pressure may discourage bystanders from becoming directly involved in bullying prevention or to report bullying to adults. According to Heinrichs, bystanders make up the majority of students at any one time, and therefore have the potential to assist in bullying prevention.
(待续) |
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