Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/24/the-key-to-health-wealth-and-success-self-control/#ixzz1E7kTawxf[/ALIGN]
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Self-control may be the secret to success, according to a persuasive new study that followed 1,000 children from birth to age 32: children who showed early signs of self-mastery were not only less likely to have developed addictions or committed a crime by adulthood, but were also healthier and wealthier than their more impulsive peers.
Problems surfacing in adolescence, such as becoming a smoker or getting pregnant, accounted for about half of the bad outcomes associated with low self-control in childhood. Kids who scored low on such measures — for instance, becoming easily frustrated, lacking persistence in reaching goals or performing tasks, or having difficulty waiting their turn in line — were roughly three times more likely to wind up as poor, addicted, single parents or to have multiple health problems as adults, compared with children who behaved more conscientiously as early as age 3.
"This is a great study, mining a huge trove of data to tease apart the relationships among some really important factors that can determine the direction of our lives," says Martha Farah, director of the Center for Neuroscience and Society at the University of Pennsylvania. "It highlights how incredibly important self-control is."
Dr. Bruce Perry, professor of psychiatry at Northwestern University, agrees: "It's a very cool study. This is taken from data from what is probably the best long-term study in our field." (Disclosure: Perry and I have written two books together.)
The new research confirms the findings of the famous Stanford marshmallow study, which found that young children who were able resist grabbing a fluffy marshmallow placed in front of them — for 15 long minutes — in order to get two of them later scored an average of 210 points higher on the SAT than kids who couldn't wait. About one-third of the 4-to-6-year-olds studied were able to withstand the sweet temptation. As in the current research, the kids with more self-control in the marshmallow trial had better life outcomes across the board.
For the new study, the "Dunedin Multidisciplinary Health and Development Study" whose results were published Monday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers led by Duke University psychologist Terrie Moffit followed 1,000 children in New Zealand for more than three decades.
Moffitt and her colleagues measured children's self control on numerous occasions, getting behavior ratings from parents and teachers as well as from research staff who worked with the children. "All children have varying attention spans, and all get frustrated now and then," she says. "But our measures indicated that a child had low self-control only if the scores from different reporters and on different occasions all added up and pointed in the same direction."
By adulthood, children in the highest self-control group were significantly less likely to have multiple health problems (11%), compared with kids in the lowest self-control group (27%). They were also much less likely to have addictions to multiple substances (3% vs. 10%, respectively), says Moffitt.
Only 10% of kids with high self-control grew up to have low income — less than $20,000 per year — compared with 32% of their more impulsive peers. Forty-three percent of the least disciplined children had a criminal record by age 32, compared with just 13% of the most conscientious. And as adults, 58% of kids who had low self-control had become a single parent; this was true for only 26% of the high self-control group.
In previous research, researchers have found that impulsiveness and out-of-control behavior are more common in children who have experienced loss, trauma or violence — factors that tend to affect poorer kids more than rich ones. "If you have adverse experiences, that's going to turn up the stress response," says Perry, explaining that stress may affect the proper development of the frontal cortex in children's brains, which is responsible for self-control and for "putting the brakes" on the brain's lower brain regions. "If you have lower self-control, you'll have a harder time in school, you won't learn as efficiently, you're more likely to act on frustration, which means more social problems and you might end up with legal problems."
Although Moffit's study found some "concentration of low self-control children in homes with low income," the author says, the correlation was small. "There were plenty of well-to-do children with very low self-control."
In fact, poor children who scored best on measures of self-control were more likely than others to become wealthy in later life. "One interpretation of the findings is that children with high self-control who began life in low-income homes ended up as adults with higher incomes," says Moffitt.
Not surprisingly, many of the lapses in self-discipline that led to the worst life outcomes occurred during the teenage years: teens who had scored lowest in measures of self-control in early childhood were the most likely to make mistakes in the first place. And even those low self-control teens who managed to avoid smoking, pregnancy and alcohol or other drug problems, and stayed in school did worse later in life than their more disciplined peers. "This suggests that there might be a better return on investment from early childhood interventions," Moffitt says.
"Trial and error is a healthy part of teenage life," she adds. "But teens with good self-control engage in trial and error strategically, and they appreciate the difference between a useful learning experiment and real danger. I'm convinced that teenagers can be coached on this distinction."
Interventions aimed at improving self-control and behavior throughout childhood are now being studied, but so far, research has not identified a single best approach. The most effective programs are small and tightly focused on increasing self-control itself — as opposed to fighting bullying, drugs or other problem behaviors — according to Moffitt.
Intriguingly, about 7% of the children in Moffitt's study dramatically increased their own self-control over the course of the research, suggesting that such change is possible. But researchers don't know how or why this happened. "Perhaps some of them attended a school that stressed achievement and provided structure. Perhaps some of them experienced changes in family life, such as parents' changing marital status that brought more structure into the child's daily life. We don't really know," Moffitt says.
"We have deeply held cultural beliefs about self-control — the importance of thinking about the future, persisting with the chores of life — which show up in fables like 'The Ant and the Grasshopper' or 'The Tortoise and the Hare,'" says Farah. "This research shows that there is great wisdom there — delaying gratification and hanging in are aspects of self-control that bring great benefit."
That's probably welcome news to all those tiger mothers' ears. While tiger parenting may err when it veers into harshness, the evidence in favor of teaching the discipline of hard work and repeated practice only continues to grow.
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-16 20:28
标题: re:22楼沉静好，好久不见，黑眼睛也好吧？不...
22楼沉静好，好久不见，黑眼睛也好吧？不知道你们译言翻译了上面这篇没有，如果有的话，能给个链接吗？
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-16 20:48
标题: re:以前没怎么读过于丹，后来方老师推荐，就情...
以前没怎么读过于丹，后来方老师推荐，就情不自禁地爱上她了。
小萨也好久不见了，估计去忙组合的事情去了。不过，星期一格莱美的时候见过另一个加拿大人，贾比伯，忒帅。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-16 21:47
标题: re:看明白了，自制力就是对自己ABA。因为喜...
看明白了，自制力就是对自己ABA。因为喜欢对自己下狠手的人不多，所以要从小培养。
一说ABA就简单了，决定权在后面价值观，文科。
作者: blackeye 时间: 2011-2-16 22:02
标题: re:被马四爷点了名，就跟着沉静冒个泡。这个“...
被马四爷点了名，就跟着沉静冒个泡。这个“自制力”我怎么看怎么觉得应该叫“他制力”才对。那些杀人的学生是否是因为管教的原因不说，就说那些吸毒的酗酒的人，我觉得都是家里“他制力”太强大造成的，他们从来就没有用过自己的眼睛来看世界，一旦脱离家庭，那些boundaries就不再存在，人也就迷失了。而自己建立起来的boundaries才是真正有效的boundaries。孩子成长的过程，就是摸索客观存在的boundaries的过程。家长人为地设置、灌输、并且强制实行一些boundaries，我认为对孩子的成长是有害的。家长能做的是帮助孩子去探索和建立自己的boundaries，这包括允许他们越过界限，允许犯错，给他们时间自我调整。这样，孩子才有可能长出真正的“自制力”。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-17 03:31
标题: re:黑老师给的“自制力”的定义很好，这样我们...
黑老师给的“自制力”的定义很好，这样我们这个贴从此就有目标了，重复定义如下：
-------------------------------
自己建立起来的boundaries才是真正有效的boundaries。孩子成长的过程，就是摸索客观存在的boundaries的过程。允许犯错，给他们时间自我调整。这样，孩子才有可能长出真正的“自制力”。
====================================================
下面的问题是怎样培养孩子的自制力， 我先说第1点，其他的大家有空补充。
1 等。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-17 03:36
标题: re:我等了这么久，QBB都没戒烟。老V给...
我等了这么久，QBB都没戒烟。
老V给了第二条，我认为是非常重要的：高级诱惑。喜欢上高级雪茄了之后，肯定就不抽烟了。
作者: 沉静 时间: 2011-2-17 12:47
标题: re:不白爹好，元宵节快乐。我去译言看了，没这...
不白爹好，元宵节快乐。我去译言看了，没这篇。学习之后只觉得很急很闹心，它阐述的都是我早就知道的，我想知道的它都不阐述——“but so far, research has not identified a single best approach”；“suggesting that such change is possible. But researchers don't know how or why this happened”。好容易提了一句The most effective programs are small and tightly focused on increasing self-control itself，又故意不说是怎样的program。真是急死人。末尾暗示的虎妈推术，又与上面那句警告“stress may affect the proper development of the frontal cortex in children's brains, which is responsible for self-control”互相矛盾。着实叫人为难呀。
燕原给的第三条，价值观，我认为是非常重要滴。autism自然既不是自闭症也不是孤独症，而是自向症，自我感受就是最高强化物。价值观管着自身尊严、自我评判这些最重要的自我感受，肯定有谱。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-17 21:36
标题: re:谢谢沉静，很锐利，我看那段也有想知道的却...
谢谢沉静，很锐利，我看那段也有想知道的却找不着的感觉。
燕园发话了，老V写第二条，包包你就看着办吧。乘着葛莱美的热度，我先把第3条挂出来，周末再展开。
3 吹。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-17 22:30
标题: re:楼上自制力很好，说三年不写日记，就是不写...
楼上自制力很好，说三年不写日记，就是不写了。
24楼比第1楼靠谱，一到方法论那儿就不写了，因为前首席说了，除了ABA，就没有靠谱的教育方法论，哲学流派不能当枪使，那只是旗帜。
怎么让孩子学会自我ABA，首先要建立八荣八耻观念，夸人为荣，吵架为耻，然后自我奖励惩罚，自制力就培养出来了。
八荣八耻观念是哪儿来的，除了被我D洗脑，父母也可以洗脑。不过比较了中美的不同洗脑方式之后，我一个也没认同，洗AS比洗NT难多了。
那AS的价值观是怎么被洗出来的，看T版就行了，洗理科很容易，洗文科需要最纯的情感才行。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-18 03:26
标题: re:不喜欢方法,偏说方法.来自NPR的报道：...
不喜欢方法,偏说方法.来自NPR的报道：
http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133629477/for-kids-self-control-factors-into-future-success
Self-control keeps us from eating a whole bag of chips or from running up the credit card. A new study says that self-control makes the difference between getting a good job or going to jail — and we learn it in preschool.
"Children who had the greatest self-control in primary school and preschool ages were most likely to have fewer health problems when they reached their 30s," says Terrie Moffitt, a professor of psychology at Duke University and King's College London.
Moffitt and a team of researchers studied a group of 1,000 people born in New Zealand in 1972 and 1973, tracking them from birth to age 32. The new study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, is the best evidence yet on the payoff for learning self-discipline early on.
The researchers define self-control as having skills like conscientiousness, self-discipline and perseverance, as well as being able to consider the consequences of actions in making decisions.
The children who struggled with self-control as preschoolers were three times as likely to have problems as young adults. They were more prone to have a criminal record; more likely to be poor or have financial problems; and they were more likely to be single parents.
This study doesn't prove that the lack of self-control in childhood caused these problems, but the large size of the study, and the fact that it followed one group of people over many years, makes a good case for an effect.
（以上与24楼内容基本重复。下面是“方法”）
Teaching Control
Economists and public health officials want to know whether teaching self-control could improve a population's physical and financial health and reduce crime. Three factors appear to be key to a person's success in life: intelligence, family's socioeconomic status and self-control. Moffitt's study found that self-control predicted adult success, even after accounting for the participants' differences in social status and IQ.
IQ and social status are hard to change. But Moffitt says there is evidence that self-control can be learned.
"Identical twins are not identical on self-control," she says. "That tells us that it is something they have learned, not something they have inherited."
Teaching self-control has become a big focus for early childhood education. At the Clara Barton Center for Children in Cabin John, Md., it starts with expecting a 4-year-old to hang up her coat without being asked.
Director Linda Owen says the children are expected to be responsible for a series of actions when they arrive at school each morning, without help from Mom and Dad. The children sign in, put away their lunches, hang up their own clothes, wash their hands before they can play, and then choose activities in the classroom.
"All those things help with self-management," Owen says.
Mediating Conflict
Of course, not all 4-year-olds are ready to manage that, so the classroom is loaded with cues and clues to help the preschoolers make their own decisions and be responsible.
Liya Pomfret and Rowan Miller demonstrate how they use the "solutions kit" to resolve conflicts.
Enlarge Maggie Starbard/NPR
A series of seven photos over the sink shows the correct sequence for hand washing. A "solutions kit" poster shows techniques the children can use to resolve disagreements themselves, like sharing or playing with another toy. The two teachers give the children multiple cues when it's time to clean up: Lights flash, a bell rings and the children clap and count to 100. That makes it easier to switch gears without a meltdown.
If a child has problems with self-management, the teachers make a customized "visual cue" card, with photos of the four play choices in the room, to make the decision easier.
And teachers Cathie Morton and Daniela Capbert don't just supervise — they're in the thick of the children's play so that when the inevitable conflicts arise, they can redirect the children into other activities or help them talk through their feelings.
When things do go wrong, there are consequences. Timeouts and apologies don't mean much to children at this age, Owen says, so the teachers try to match consequences to the deed. When one of the children accidentally knocks over a 2-foot-tall tower of blocks that several children had spent half the morning building, the teachers ask the builders what should happen next. "Help fix it," one boy says. And, with a little prompting from the adults, they all pitch in and rebuild.
Self-Control At Home
Parents can help their children learn self-control. Mary Alvord is a clinical psychologist in Silver Spring, Md., whose new book, Resilience Builder Program for Children and Adolescents, teaches self-control strategies. Take small steps, she says. For example, preschoolers can learn that they don't always get what they want immediately; they may need to wait for that treat.
"I call it Grandma's rule," Alvord says. "No dessert until you finish your dinner."
Parents can help teenagers learn self-control by making sure the family has clear rules for things like curfew or finishing homework before they have screen time. Teenager who have problems with impulsivity may benefit from special driving classes that let them practice controlling the car in difficult conditions on a racetrack. For all teens, clear rules such as curfews help them regulate themselves.
Though self-control can be improved throughout life, Moffitt says the earlier children can learn these skills of self-discipline and perseverance, the better. "The later you wait in life to try to learn self-control skills, the more problems you have to reverse and overcome."
All the more reason to start picking up blocks when you're very young.
作者: 沉静 时间: 2011-2-18 18:28
标题: re:我对那个special driving...
我对那个special driving classes有兴趣。其它的就太虚了，日常自理、规范和责任心，相信以琳的每个家长做得都要比上面说的多得多，也比nt孩子家长做得多得多。然而事实是我们孩子的自控能力依然比nt孩子差很多。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-18 20:19
标题: re:我自己对孩子自制力的培养是不够的，因为经...
我自己对孩子自制力的培养是不够的，因为经常以自闭症为借口，有些事情是睁一只眼，闭一只眼。至于“相信以琳的每个家长做得都要比上面说的多得多，也比nt孩子家长做得多得多”，可以找方老师对证，我猜她多半会哈哈大笑，或者嘿嘿苦笑。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-18 22:13
标题: re:日常自理、规范和责任心，我家大都不如我家...
日常自理、规范和责任心，我家大都不如我家小都做得多，因为本身就事儿少，不需要整理书包，做小队长什么的。
事儿少是因为要求低，我没有把对AS的要求提到对NT的要求高度，这点和方老师的严格要求有距离，也是楼上最看不上的地方，资产阶级自由化，都有差距了还放养，不圈起来管教。
整天不检讨自己懒还有理，再有理也是小资产阶级的道理，不是红色的。
我承认我被西方历史文化洗脑的太多了，不符合中国文化和国情。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 11:09
标题: re:和楼上继续握手。你有点开始偏离你的同志们...
和楼上继续握手。你有点开始偏离你的同志们了。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 11:15
标题: re:F版那边的葛莱美贴不知道为什么参与的人不...
F版那边的葛莱美贴不知道为什么参与的人不多，反正我这里是要继续折腾一阵子的，有些话题先移过来。比如那里老V问：Lady Gaga 和 Katy Perry 哪一个更性感？ 不能马上告诉你。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 11:17
标题: re:翻页继续
翻页继续
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 11:17
标题: re:这个最性感。[flash]htt...
这个最性感。
http://player.ku6.com/refer/6B-x4VUvdaAgOs9Z/v.swf
作者: 沉静 时间: 2011-2-19 15:35
标题: re:有个ASD小孩，教他同样的自理和规范，人...
有个ASD小孩，教他同样的自理和规范，人家NT孩子最慢的都会了很久了，他还是浑浑噩噩。没办法，家长只好天天叮咛嘱咐，到处贴提醒条子，做星星表定期/量换物质奖励……几年下来，孩子跟自己比有进步，离通常对同龄孩子的标准还差得远。家长明白这是必须接受的事实，只能按他的能力来要求，按NT孩子标准强求只会坏事。那学校都是按NT标准要求的，怎么办呢，家长动手帮呗。
罗生门：
对自己高标准严要求的不白爹说，我自己对孩子自制力的培养是不够的，因为经常以自闭症为借口，有些事情是睁一只眼，闭一只眼；
不思进取善于自满的沉静说，每个ASD家长做得都NT孩子家长做得多。然而我们孩子的自控能力依然比nt孩子差很多。
燕原说，我没有把对AS的要求提到对NT的要求高度。
作者: 浩浩爸 时间: 2011-2-19 16:29
标题: re:孩子的自制力确实需要好好的培养，可是光空...
孩子的自制力确实需要好好的培养，可是光空谈是解决不了问题的，对于我们的孩子，有没有一些切实可行的、具体的办法，这可能是大多数人最需要的。
作者: 沉静 时间: 2011-2-19 16:38
标题: re:楼主接着贴方法论。我这都是不学ABA的结...
楼主接着贴方法论。我这都是不学ABA的结果，一心想看方法论，结果不强化还打击，笨得没救了。
我知道说的都是废话。无非是气不顺，好像我们孩子自制力差，是因为家长不懂得自我控制能力重要似的。看不上“it is something they have learned, not something they have inherited." 这样绝对的说法。learn当然都是后天learn的，包括各种社会能力，也都是后天学的，但是是用先天inherited的硬件——大脑，神经，来学的。先天硬件的不同，与后天学习环境的不同，各自对outcome的影响占比如何，不是is...is not句型能够表述的。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 19:32
标题: re:跟43楼这位妈妈也握一下手，我也是经常像...
跟43楼这位妈妈也握一下手，我也是经常像你这样去指责别人空谈的。问题是，发帖用的是自己的时间，还是让自己快乐最重要。如果要找方法，可参看1楼，34楼，以及后面还不知道的哪一楼。当然，很欢迎你把自己的方法贴上来共享一下。
沉静说的气不顺比较有趣，套用新学的一句话，你这可是有点女人心理哦。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-19 20:29
标题: re:下面展开一下29楼。 1 等 ...
下面展开一下29楼。
1 等
为了方便，免不了脱俗还是要说故事。我有一个儿子，今年6岁了，去年开始上小学，再往前，2岁的时候他被诊断为自闭症。下面我选取某一天他放学回家后2小时的时段来说明一下我对“等”的理解。这一天，他和往常一样回到家，很饿，我告诉他我需要20分钟的时间给他做饭，他需要等【1】。
我做的是意大利食品，水煮通心粉，大火把水烧开，然后加入内容物，改中火，保持沸腾15分钟，取出沥水加油盐醋及酱油替代品少许，搅拌均匀，等等。这段时间，儿子自己去玩他的火车。叫他吃饭，这时候我需要等【2】，不做声不提醒，看他会不会主动洗手，他自己把手洗了。
吃饭前，儿子离开桌子，打开壁橱取出一包土豆片，我不做声，略作惊讶状，看着他，等【3】。儿子看出我的不满，解释说：我知道饭前不能吃零食，我就是放在这里，饭后吃。他吃饭是比较慢的，这时候我可以离开，翻翻闲书，或者上以琳围观一下别人吵架。
吃完同心粉，他很开心地打开他的土豆片，这时候不能等，赶紧冲过去告诉他只能吃10片（需改进，此处今后可加入等【4】）。
因为天气一下好起来，我计划让他去后院练一下投篮，但饭后不能马上运动，所以中间要安排点事情。做作业，然后他自己要求看《猫和老鼠》。我说你已经看得太多了，他说今天我只看一集。一集也就10分钟的样子，我同意了。等【5】，他自己开电视，放碟片，把功能档从电视调到DVD，选菜单，播放。
10分钟后，等【6】，他嬉皮笑脸地看着我，说：就只再看一集？我说：不行。等【7】，他悻悻然把电视关掉。
稍后继续。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-19 22:47
标题: re:看来今天心情好，还是忍不住要写日记了。...
看来今天心情好，还是忍不住要写日记了。
我也等。。。。。。。
小萨说，家长喜欢枪，不知道危险性，我们能不能只给红宝书呢？然后等。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-20 08:50
标题: re:小萨这样讲讲是可以的，一来她不是这个家长...
小萨这样讲讲是可以的，一来她不是这个家长圈子里的，二来她本身是偶像级的。至于我这样的人，还是以讨论，或与臭味相投者一起自娱自乐为好。绝对不敢勇敢地站出来，去搞什么传经送宝，更别提什么红宝书了。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-20 10:05
标题: re:接46楼1 等 2 接下...
接46楼
1 等 2
接下来去后院投篮。篮板是绑在我家2楼阳台的柱子上的，高度大概是我自己可以低低跳起180度飞身扣篮的那么高，对我儿子还是有难度。虽然半个冬天没练，但他力气和个头都长了些，第一次投篮居然差点进了，等【8】，他自己捡球，继续投。
要投进一个球还是不容易的，所以5分钟后他跟我要求不投了，要打棒球。就像1楼老润说的， 这小孩就是想要舒服的，因为他打棒球很简单，就是球放在一个支架上，啪的一下打出去就行。所以，不同意，让他等【9】，等他至少5次球碰篮框后才能打棒球。有了目标，小家伙精神抖擞很快把数字达到了。
按老润的思路，不能让孩子太舒服，所以我把我家后院的一个圆桌放倒当靶子，要求儿子要在5米以外把球打到桌上。每打出一个球，等【10】，他自己去把球回来再打。没过一会儿他捡球烦了，看着我，不做声，等【11】，于是他去一个角落里找出六七个练习球，一字排开，不用每击一次球就去捡球了。
运动了半天，他要求吃冰激凌，我当然答应，一看时间，孩子妈妈大概半个小时就要到家了，和他商量：你等30分钟，然后和妈妈一起吃如何？他想了想，说：好的。等【12】.
作者: 方静 时间: 2011-2-20 12:43
标题: re:马丁看似在调侃，但事实上他为儿子所做的里...
马丁看似在调侃，但事实上他为儿子所做的里面道道很多。
佩服。
等。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-20 19:25
标题: re:谢谢方老师。你这么一说等， 那我就要开始...
谢谢方老师。你这么一说等， 那我就要开始吹了。我的意思是，展开32楼的第3点，吹。不过，都是些纯八卦的事情，下星期再吹吧。
作者: 秋爸爸 时间: 2011-2-21 10:28
标题: re:这个吹，方老师早就吹过了。当年让石头...
这个吹，方老师早就吹过了。
当年让石头不玩小鸡鸡，故意设局，让他在医院里巧遇插着导尿管遛弯的患者，....。
作者: 秋爸爸 时间: 2011-2-21 12:00
标题: re:等 = 瞪。使用“瞪”的关键，是...
等 = 瞪。
使用“瞪”的关键，是让他看到你在瞪他，必要时附有“嗯？！”的一声，作关羽那种立起丹凤眼、手捋胡须的摆酷pose，手边有大刀的话，甚至也可以持着在地上顿一顿。
这个等式，是我在春节期间建立的并经常应用的。虽然会招人不齿，但威吓也是生活。
作者: niuniuma 时间: 2011-2-25 03:52
标题: re:这是不是亲自带孩子真是不一样。马丁还有Q...
这是不是亲自带孩子真是不一样。马丁还有QBB真是“比妈妈还妈妈”。这等的耐心和花的这个精神，这么多圈套让你儿子跳啊，看得我这个累。不过看了10回都看明白了。等着看吹，吹好像不是和自制力有关的，越吹越没自制力。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-25 10:21
标题: re:谢谢NN妈的批评。我写贴跟发电报似的，习...
谢谢NN妈的批评。我写贴跟发电报似的，习惯了，字数一多就乱，下回尽量弄得好懂一点。
53楼的瞪我正在实践，当然本质上还是受QMM的启发：没事儿让儿子用小拳头打我的鼻梁，事先跟他说：要管住自己，轻轻地打。然后儿子会很高兴地开打，轻的时候我就给他飞个温柔的眼，重了我就瞪眼。几个轮次下来，鼻子酸酸的。请买好保险后再尝试。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-27 13:14
标题: re:仰望树林曾经正气凛然地说过：你能想到的别...
仰望树林曾经正气凛然地说过：你能想到的别人早想到过，而且别人还能想到你根本想不到的。这说明需要学习，需要检索，适当的时候还要像方舟子反对或者支持的那样搞点抄袭。下面这段摘自:
http://www.nasponline.org/resources/handouts/behavior%20template.pdf
有多少实用性我也不清楚，欢迎做个尝试的朋友分享心得。以下是其中的一部分。
Skill: Dealing With Wanting Something I Can’t Have
Often, young children are easily upset when their needs or wishes are not met immediately. Almost daily, children encounter many objects, toys, and activities that are attractive to them. Many times children do not know how to handle their frustration when told “no” or “later” by a caregiver. Also, there are times when young children do not understand that one child may or may not be allowed to do something because of their family’s religious beliefs or cultural background. In order to have positive experiences at home, in school, and in the
community, children need to learn skills to appropriately handle their feelings associated with wanting something that they cannot have. These skills will
increase children’s self-control and tolerance of others.
Teach children to use the following steps (see puppet activity below):
1. SAY, “I would like to (have) ____ but I can’t right now.”
2. THINK about your choices:
• Ask again later.
• Find something else to do.
• Ask to borrow it (if feasible).
• Ask to share it.
• Ask to do chores to earn money to buy one.
• Wait your turn.
• Accept that you are not allowed and say “I would like it, but that’s ok.”
3. ACT out your best choice.
Puppet Role Playing Activity
This activity helps young children learn how to identify one thing that they want and cannot have. They will talk about the feelings associated with not being able to have something they want. And, the children will review the possible choices of how to deal with wanting something that is not theirs.
Materials needed: Paper, crayons or markers, puppets
Directions:
1. Have your child write or draw about a thing or activity he wishes he had or
could do.
2. Have a conversation with your child about what she wishes or wants and why.
3. Tell your child about something you wish you could have or do, and why.
4. Use puppets to play different roles in the following pretend situations:
• Your friend has one of the new action figures (e.g., Pokemon, G.I. Joe)
that you have been wishing to have for weeks.
• You want to play with your friend, but he has to go somewhere with his
family all day.
• A girl in your class who uses a wheelchair has a computer with a game you
love to play.
• Your brother just got a great bat and baseball for his birthday … just
like the one you want.
Ideas for discussion during role playing: Use these questions to help your child
think about appropriate choices and behaviors in the role plays above:
• How do you feel when you see that another child has what you would like to
have?
• How would it feel if someone took one of your toys or things without your
permission?
• What can we do when we want to have someone else’s things? What are our
choices?
• What can we do when someone else is getting to do something we want to do?
What are our choices?
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-27 13:22
标题: re:如果大家打不开上面的那个pdf 链接，我...
如果大家打不开上面的那个pdf 链接，我可以把后面的内容再贴一下，不过格式肯定会乱。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-27 20:22
标题: re:下面贴段中文的，希望不要把方舟子方老师招...
下面贴段中文的，希望不要把方舟子方老师招来。
------------------------
儿童自我控制发展研究综述
【作 者】宋辉/杨丽珠
【作者简介】宋辉，杨丽珠，大连 辽宁师范大学 硕士研究生；博士生导师
【内容提要】自我控制对于人成功地适应社会相当重要，儿童期正是自我控制产生形成的重要时期。本文综述了儿童自我控制发展的四个方面的研究成果：（1）自我控制的结构；（2）自我控制的发生与发展；（3 ）自我控制发展的影响因素；（4）自我控制与个性发展关系。 旨在为进一步研究儿童自我控制的发展提供借鉴，为培养儿童自我控制提供心理依据。
【关 键 词】自我控制/结构/发生与发展/影响因素/自我控制与个性
自我控制是自我意识的重要成分。它是个人对自身的心理和行为的主动掌握，是个体自觉地选择目标，在没有外部限制的情况下，克服困难，排除干扰，采取某种方式，控制自己的行为，从而保证目标的实现。自我控制对于人成功地适应社会相当重要，它是一个人良好个性形成和发展的必要条件和基本保证。儿童期正是自我控制产生形成的时期，对儿童自我控制的研究具有重要的理论价值和现实意义。本文拟对国内外关于儿童自我控制发展的研究作一概述，以供借鉴。
一、有关自我控制结构的研究
自我控制是心理能动性的重要表现，是心理的整体功能，它是多维度、多层次的心理活动系统。有人将自控能力分为外显行为的自控和内隐行为的自控。外显行为的自控包括对情绪的控制、坚持性、自制力和独立性四个因素；内隐行为的自控包括对动机的控制和自觉性两个因素（谢军，1994）。还有的研究者对涵盖自控含义的自我监控结构进行了较为细致的研究，把自我监控分为静态结构和动态结构；自我指向型和任务指向型自我监控；自我监控的一般——特殊结构；自我监控的微观——宏观结构；自我监控的隐密——外显结构；自我监控的发生结构（董奇等，1996）。Zimmerman提出自我监控“WHWW”结构， 认为自我具有动机自我监控、方法自我监控、结果自我监控和环境自我监控四维结构（Zimmerman,1994）。
国外对自控结构成分的研究具体体现在对自我调控的不同定义上，认为自我调控是一个复杂的构成物。它是一种遵照要求的能力；根据情境要求引发并结束活动的能力；在社会和教育的环境下调节言语的强度、频率和持久性并控制行为的能力；延缓实现一个渴望目标的能力；在没有外界控制的情况下形成社会赞许行为的能力。
总之，国内外学者从不同角度研究自我控制的结构有一定成效，但儿童自我控制结构的年龄特征研究还不完善，有待于进一步探讨。
二、儿童自我控制发生与发展的研究
人类个体绝非一出世就具备了控制自己的能力。儿童是在生理不断成熟的条件下，在成人的指导教育下，通过与外界环境的不断交往发展各种心理能力，并逐渐克服其冲动性，学会控制自己的活动的。儿童自我控制能力的获得是通过一步一步的学习过程完成的。幼儿的行为缺乏思考，冲动性是幼儿行为的主要特点。儿童控制自身冲动的能力有极大的个别差异。有些儿童能够很好地忍受正常的挫折，有些儿童则不能容忍任何形式的拒绝或延迟满足，并表现为大发脾气或其他一些明显的攻击性行为。有“行为问题”的儿童大多数是后一种儿童，有的心理学家称之为“控制不足”。这些儿童不仅以一种敌意的方式行动，而且能够感染他人，他们煽动他人的失控行为，并且很容易被他人所煽动。研究表明，儿童控制自己冲动的方式是一种稳定的人格特征，对其进行矫治的方法往往费时且收效极慢（周宗奎，1995）。
西方心理学家对自我控制能力获得的研究主要从冲动性入手，即儿童如何从冲动性向自我控制过渡的，归纳起来主要有三个方面的研究：动作和运动的控制；认知活动的控制；情绪情感的控制。
自我控制发展的第一步是对机体自身动作运动的控制。普莱尔就儿童意志的发展对儿童出生以后如何发展对动作的有意抑制进行了描述。他强调了幼儿对动作有意抑制的发展与表象和观念的发展有关。儿童首先要学会停止、抑制某些行动，这对年幼儿童来讲并非易事。研究发现，让2～4岁儿童对某种信号不作反应比让其作出反应要困难得多（鲁利亚，1961）。实验者让儿童看到绿灯亮就挤压手中的橡皮球，红灯亮不要挤压，结果无论什么灯亮，儿童都倾向于挤压橡皮球，表明儿童抑制行动的能力不强。有人重复了这个实验，也证明幼儿在抑制行动上还存在困难。但同时也发现，儿童从三岁两个月到四岁十一个月，对行动的抑制能力有很大的进步（Mille,Shelton,Flavell,1970）。儿童自我控制能力的发展不仅包括对动作行为的简单抑制，还包括更进一步地根据需要调整自己的活动节奏和速度。儿童相对来说能快速地进行某种活动，但让其慢慢地进行活动却困难得多（Maccoby, 1980）。Ward 利用“慢画测验”和“慢走测验”追踪研究了儿童控制自己运动能力的发展，发现年幼儿童对自己运动速度的控制能力相当差，但又确实在不断进步（Ward, 1973）。
西方有关认知活动中的自我控制研究主要与人的认知活动方式相联系。Kagan等人在60 年代将人的认知方式用“冲动—熟虑”这一维度加以区分。他们设计了“匹配熟悉图形测验”，根据在一种不确定的认知情境中，是缺乏深思而轻率地作出反应还是经过深入地思考、审慎地作出反应，将人划分为冲动型和熟虑型。冲动型的人很快作出反应，错误率很高；熟虑型的人作出反应的时间相对较慢，但错误率低。冲动型的人在认知活动中缺乏自我控制，而熟虑型的人具有较好的认知控制能力。此外，儿童自我控制能力的提高可以通过成人对其自我概念施加影响而实现。如果成人帮助儿童在自我形象上确信自己是有耐心的，正直诚实的或其他自律的个体的话，那么便可以促进儿童自我控制能力的发展。
在儿童对自身情绪控制方面， 西方心理学家做了很多研究。 Mischel等人设计了“延迟满足”的实验，即为了得到以后更有价值的东西，愿意延缓立即得到的奖励。例如，让儿童在两者之间作一种选择：一种是立即可以得到的、但不太有吸引力的东西；另一种是须延缓一段时间才能得到的更有吸引力的东西。测验者认为选择立即要得到东西的儿童为缺乏自我控制力的儿童。有关“延迟满足”研究的结果主要有两点：（1）对于学前儿童， 抵制眼前奖励的诱惑而有耐心地等待是相当困难的；（2）学龄期儿童延迟满足的能力逐渐提高。10～12 岁的儿童表现出很强的等待延迟奖励的意愿。一般有自控能力的儿童和能延迟满足的儿童相对地比较成熟，有责任感，有较高的成就动机，即使在无人监督的情况下也能遵守规则（刘金花，1997）。
我国心理学工作者比较系统地研究了自我控制发展各个时期的年龄特征。学前儿童自我控制开始发生的年龄转变期为4～5岁。自我控制的特点主要表现在坚持性和自制力上（韩进之等，1990）。3～9岁儿童的自我控制能力随年龄增长而呈上升趋势，且这种发展的关键年龄明显在3～5岁之间（谢军，1994）。少年期儿童开始变他人控制为自己控制（左其沛，1985），自我教育能力发展较高（符丕盛，1989）。
此外，还有人从意志品质的角度对儿童自我控制能力的发展进行了探讨。研究发现，学龄初期儿童意志的自制性品质随年级升高而稳步发展，但其行为仍然明显受内外诱因的干扰。随着年级的升高，儿童抵制内外诱因干扰的能力逐渐增强。小学儿童的自我激励水平和忍耐克制能力在不断提高，尤其是中年级以后，注意能力以及相应的组织性、纪律性有了明显增强，自我控制和自我调节能力得到了较好发展（傅安球，1990）。
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作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-27 23:02
标题: re:我先把定义抄一遍：“自我控制是心理能动性...
我先把定义抄一遍：“自我控制是心理能动性的重要表现，是心理的整体功能，它是多维度、多层次的心理活动系统。”
我的目标是今年让大都独自在家自己控制自己的日常生活，争取做到4-6个小时不用看管按计划完成目标活动。
为什么有这个计划，主要原因是感觉大都这半年来多维度/多层次心理活动开始萌芽了，不像原来那样单线单层，思维复杂了之后，他对于因果关系，未来预测，目的结果就有了更明确的自我认识。
楼上文章的主旨是早期ABA干预，让先天控制能力弱的孩子从小被干预。从ABA的角度来说，是合理的做法，而且应当有一定成效，这样就不用等到思维发展到多层次后再做自我控制训练。对我家NT来说，思维多层次的明显发育年龄是6岁，正好是上学的年龄，逻辑思维和因果未来预测还不明显，预计是四年级。NT孩子通常不需要早期干预也能教得不错，而ASD孩子如果预计6岁发展不出多层思维，10岁发展不出未来预测，早期干预的作用可能会更明显一些，我希望是这样。
作者: 语风妈妈 时间: 2011-2-27 23:04
标题: re:自制力培养的话题最近正好也非常关注，谢谢...
自制力培养的话题最近正好也非常关注，谢谢马丁同学发起讨论。
我自己特别没自制力，主要表现在该做而对我无趣的事能拖则拖，而且好像年纪越大越糟糕。
现在看来儿子可能比我好。前几天我打电话，小家伙自己搬个小板凳坐我旁边，问他想做什么，答: 妈妈我想等你打完电话后给你看样东西。把我给感动得，真想立马搁下电话去陪他。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-27 23:08
标题: re:自制力方面，我得说我比NT一般水平做得好...
自制力方面，我得说我比NT一般水平做得好，因为我不是按照兴趣做事，是按照逻辑做事的，而且自我欲望很低，人被事情带着走不会感到失去自我。
作者: 沉静 时间: 2011-2-28 06:06
标题: re:兴趣动机——兴趣动机强烈，除兴趣外其它动...
兴趣动机——兴趣动机强烈，除兴趣外其它动机弱，我以为是AS的一大特征呢。不按兴趣做事的AS还真是第一次听到。所以说你是优良品种。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-28 06:40
标题: re:不能说优良，只能说几乎没有自我愿望，和老...
不能说优良，只能说几乎没有自我愿望，和老公去世有关，和我一直简单生活对世界不感兴趣也有关，AS特征也有重大贡献。
出世对我来说很正常，入世对我来说没压力，所以人就完全顺着逻辑走了。
我最大的兴趣应当是吸收各种信息和知识，满足好奇心，除此之外，几乎没有其他兴趣了。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-28 10:07
标题: re:奥斯卡颁奖。好多好多好好美丽的人。...
奥斯卡颁奖。好多好多好好美丽的人。
最佳女配角提名里有个小姑娘，和大都一样，homeschooler.很遗憾，她没获奖。
作者: 秋爸爸 时间: 2011-2-28 11:53
标题: re:借奥斯卡契机，拉个单子。我好久没看外国片...
借奥斯卡契机，拉个单子。我好久没看外国片啦。不是因为自制力，是因为体力。
燕原爱逻辑，看《盗梦》，但T版好像不喜《盗梦》，你敢说T版不逻辑。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-2-28 20:26
标题: re:我准备去看那个“总书记的重要讲话”，那么...
我准备去看那个“总书记的重要讲话”，那么多奖，还是剑桥口音。
安妮海舍薇很可爱，很high,而且使出了浑身解数，连春晚的台词都用上了：当脱儿，就可以被提名，唉，可惜这是以前的事情了。不过真正的高潮是最佳女配角，发奖的是特克.道格拉斯，看着有100多岁了，真是好玩儿，难怪那个凯瑟琳嫁给他儿子，基因好啊。领奖的那个大姐，那爆发力，那激情，那粗口，把ABC忙得。
接下来，我就没看了，不是我有自制力，而是由很多器具去油及表面除尘工作需要去做。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-2-28 20:50
标题: re:家里没电视，信息严重滞后，赶紧下重要讲话...
家里没电视，信息严重滞后，赶紧下重要讲话去看。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-2 19:26
标题: re:我的理解力比较差，58楼这种论文看得有点...
我的理解力比较差，58楼这种论文看得有点云里雾里的，挺简单的一件事，为什么要说的那么复杂？ 更偏好56楼一点，打算翻译一下，先做广告，以免有同好者重复劳动。
*************
马丁.路德.金说：我有一个梦想
奥巴马说：我就是那个梦想
不记得什么时候跟儿子讲过这些，但他小脑袋里对这些多少有些模糊的影响，所以当老师在课堂上要求他们就有朝一日要当总统写出竞选提纲时，他写了如下让人啼笑皆非的话，并配上了一幅画。homewood是个旅馆的名字。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-3 10:53
标题: re:继续说马丁。下面这段转自黑眼睛，...
继续说马丁。
下面这段转自黑眼睛，沉静她们家的译言，向华盛顿进军（重点部分用红字标出）
http://article.yeeyan.org/view/118742/73309
bobo yeah
1963年8月28日，20多万游行者进军首都华盛顿，为争取自由和工作权而斗争。这次行动成功地向当时的肯尼迪政府施压，并迫使美国国会立下严刑峻法，保障公民权利。在这次游行活动中，马丁路德金发表了他永垂史册的演说“我有一个梦想”。
1963年的华盛顿游行曾有若干先例。1941年的夏天，为了将非裔美国人被隔绝于国家垄断工业之外的事实公之于众，卧车列车员兄弟会的创始人菲利普兰多夫曾发起进军华盛顿的运动。尽管当时针对的垄断工业以向二战同盟国提供战略物资为主，黑人仍无法其中找到自己的一席之地。面临着十万人即将进军华盛顿的威胁，富兰克林罗斯福总统只好签署了8802号总统令，责令公平就业委员会对涉嫌在就业上实行种族歧视的垄断企业进行调查。而兰多夫则以取消进军计划作为回应。
1957年5月，人们聚集在林肯纪念堂参与一场名为自由朝圣路的活动，纪念布朗诉教育局案三周年，1958年10月，为了抗议校内种族隔离问题迟迟得不到解决的现状，人们又发起了一场“校园融合青年游行”。由于被艾佐拉科里和科雷塔斯科特金刺伤，金博士把本来准备在1957年游行的演讲推迟到1958年的活动中。
1963年，正值“解放黑奴宣言”发布一百周年，但之前的一系列抗议活动却收效甚微。由于黑人面临着高失业率、低收入和就业低流动性以及人权上的制度性歧视，加之南方长期存在的种族隔离制度，早在1962年，以要求政治经济上公平正义为目的的游行活动就已经在讨论中。在美国黑人工会、种族平等会议、南方基督领导会议和学生非暴力联合委员会的支持下，兰多夫写信给内政部秘书斯图尔特尤德尔，希望能获得批准在当年的秋天举行游行活动到林肯纪念堂。由于尤德尔以交通协调过于复杂和纪念堂游客太多为由，建议游行在华盛顿纪念碑的乡村剧院举行，游行计划被暂时搁置。
1963年兰多夫发电报给金，通知他美国黑人工会计划在当年七月举行“为了黑人工作权”的游行，并希望他做出积极的回应。五月，乘着伯明翰运动的余威金加入了兰多夫，一同发起“让黑人劳工发出声音”的运动，其他领导者还有种族平等会议的詹姆斯法默和非暴力联合委员会的查尔斯麦克德。确定下来的抗议活动需要达成的目标包括一份能去除公共场合种族隔离区的"明确的公民权利清单”、“对选举权的保护”、对违宪侵犯公民权行为的修正、“在1963清除所有公立学校的种族隔离”为失业工人提供培训和就业帮助的一系列联邦政府计划和“消除一切就业歧视的联邦政令”。
随着夏天的结束，越来越多的组织开始回应并加入示威游行活动，这其中包括“国际有色人种促进协会”、国际天主教联合会种族正义协会、国际基督会美洲分会和美国汽车工人协会。
向华盛顿进军也并非处处受到欢迎，伊斯兰世界的马尔科姆就笑称这次活动为“华盛顿闹剧”，尽管他自己也参与其中。美国联邦工会产业工人分会的执行委员会就拒绝支持这次活动以保持自己的中立地位。尽管如此，这些协会中的大量成员仍以个人名义参与了活动。
活动中众多的演说者和表演者显示出这次活动参与阶层的广泛性。他们包括歌手玛丽安安德森、奥德塔、久安贝茨和鲍勃戴兰，小石城的民权战士黛西李贝茨，演员奥西戴维斯，卢比迪，美国犹太协会主席莱比乔吉姆普林茨；兰多夫，美国汽车工人协会主席沃尔特路德，游行组织者巴亚德鲁斯汀，有色人种促进会主席罗伊威尔金斯，国家乡村联盟主席惠特尼杨，以及非暴力合作组织领袖约翰路易斯。
游行前，约翰路易斯挑衅性的演说讲稿被散播出去，招致路德、伯克马绍尔和华盛顿天主教大主教帕特里克奥博伊尔的谴责。在路易斯在原始版的讲稿中指责肯尼迪政府的“公民权利行动”时间太晚，效果太小，并扬言游行活动将不止于华盛顿，而是像雪曼那样把游行一路推进到南方，插进种族歧视的心脏。宣称我们将实行“焦土政策”。在金、兰多夫、非暴力合作组织的詹姆斯福曼等委员会成员的反对下，路易斯同意去除讲稿中的过激的语言，并相信自己的最终讲稿仍是“有力，而且是非常有力的一篇演讲”。
当金走上讲台发表了那篇令无数林肯纪念堂前和电视前的观众为之动容的演说“我有一个梦想”时，当天的活动也在这行将结束的一刻达到最高潮。金事后评论道：“当电波将这次了不起的集会传送到世界的每个角落，每一个对人类能超越自己，塑造自己抱有信念的人都会受到鼓舞，会对未来各人种的和谐共处抱有信心，他还称这次游行是整个夏天一系列活动的最高潮。
游行结束后，金和其他几位民权领袖与总统肯尼迪和副总统约翰逊在白宫会面，一同探讨两党在支持民权方面的立法问题。尽管1964民权法案和1965选举法案在肯尼迪总统去世后才得到通过，两部法案仍体现了当时游行活动对自由平等的诉求。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-3 11:08
标题: re:我主要是为了贴久安贝茨和鲍勃戴兰，关于他...
我主要是为了贴久安贝茨和鲍勃戴兰，关于他们的故事可见第 41楼或
http://player.ku6.com/refer/6B-x4VUvdaAgOs9Z/v.swf
读了一下上面的文字，很生涩。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-11 06:36
标题: re:我安坐于此 电话的听筒拿在手里...
我安坐于此
电话的听筒拿在手里
细细品味你遥远的声音
那声音早已烂熟于心
准备好可能再次被你伤害的感情
依稀记得你的眼睛
那深邃的蓝色比知更鸟蛋的淡蓝还要清澈
十年前
我曾买过一些袖扣送给你
你也回赠了一些东西
我们都清楚回忆能带给我们什么
那是钻石或是铁锈（美好或伤心的回忆）
此刻，我仿佛又看到了伫立于落叶凋零中的你
头发上覆盖着飘雪
你微笑着站在旅馆的窗前，那里可以遥望到华盛顿广场
你我呼出的气息在寒冷的空气中交织、凝结
以上是前面贴的diamond and rust 的部分中文译文，当然是别人翻译的。我大概是10年前听过这首歌，好像是齐豫唱的。前阵子偶然找到了原唱，久安贝茨，也有叫穷辈雅的，英文名是 Joan Baez, 追踪看了下她的事迹，知道自己会忍不住跑题，所以早早地被移到这个版块。
久安20多岁的时候和bob Dylan 有过一段感情，大概两个人都过于出色了吧，2年后就分开了。这首歌写于分手后的10年，1975年，那时候久安34岁，刚刚和丈夫离婚。关于这首歌，两人间有如下的对话：
"You gonna sing that song about robin's eggs and diamonds?" Bob had asked me on the first day of rehearsals.
"Which one?"
"You know, that one about blue eyes and diamonds..."
"Oh", I said, "you must mean 'Diamonds And Rust', the song I wrote for my husband, David. I wrote it while he was in prison."
"For your husband?" Bob said.
"Yeah. Who did you think it was about?" I stonewalled.
"Oh, hey, what the **** do I know?"
"Never mind. Yeah, I'll sing it, if you like."
久安后来没有再婚，和前夫共同抚养他们的女儿，她认为自己注定是要单身的。当然也还是约会，其中80年代初比较正式的男友是苹果当时和现在的老板乔布斯，小乔一度准备求婚，但因久安那时年龄偏大生孩子会困难而作罢。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-11 06:52
标题: re:虽然久安在唱歌方面有着“民谣皇后”的美誉...
虽然久安在唱歌方面有着“民谣皇后”的美誉，但让人印象最深的是她的革命生涯。她非常崇拜马丁.路德.金的思想和为人，很早就投入金领导的抗议运动。1963年进军华盛顿中，久安带领20万人共同唱了"We Shall Overcome"。她和bob dylan也是那时候结缘的。后来她还参加了反对越战，反对伊战，反对歧视同性恋，等等，是个骨子里的抗议者。她唯一支持过的一个总统是奥巴马。奥巴马入主白宫后，邀请她去演唱，她唱了那个著名的抗议歌曲"We Shall Overcome"，让我不由遐想有朝一日侯德健去中南海唱歌的情景。
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yId_ABmtw-w
作者: thankstoyilin 时间: 2011-3-11 08:27
标题: re:呵呵，侯德健。巧了，昨天晚上从硬盘里翻出...
呵呵，侯德健。巧了，昨天晚上从硬盘里翻出一个之前看过的那个时长逾3小时的反思回顾片。侯德健采访时说的也很客观。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-14 20:59
标题: re:In Va. assault case,...
In Va. assault case, anxious parents recognize 'dark side of autism'
By Theresa Vargas
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, March 13, 2011; 12:30 AM
When a Stafford County jury this month found an autistic teenager guilty of assaulting a law enforcement officer and recommended that he spend 10 1/2 years in prison, a woman in the second row sobbed.
It wasn't the defendant's mother. She wouldn't cry until she reached her car. It was Teresa Champion.
Champion had sat through the trial for days and couldn't help drawing parallels between the defendant, Reginald "Neli" Latson, 19, and her son James, a 17-year-old with autism.
James might have said this, she thought. James might have done that. She had fresh bruises on her body that showed that James, too, had lost his temper to the point of violence.
"This is what we live with," said Champion, of Springfield. "When they go over the edge, there is no pulling back. "
The cause of autism - a complex developmental disability that affects a person's ability to communicate and interact with others - remains the subject of heated debate. What's not in dispute is the soaring number of children found to have the disorder. In 1985, autism had been diagnosed in one out of 2,500 people in the United States; now the rate is one in 110.
Champion said parents are just beginning to acknowledge what she calls the "dark side of autism," their children's capacity for aggression when they are frustrated, angry or overstimulated. Her son recently hit his attendant and attacked his father in front of a movie theater. Other parents describe scary episodes of biting, kicking and hitting.
It's not easy to talk about children lashing out, Champion said. But it's necessary because many are getting older and bigger and yearn for more independence, which leads to private struggles becoming public.
During Latson's three-day trial, no one disputed that he assaulted a Stafford deputy one morning in May. The deputy was bleeding so profusely that responding officers thought he had been shot.
But why Latson - who has Asperger's syndrome, a relatively mild form of autism - did it and whether he could have stopped himself played a central role in his defense and has engaged the sympathy of parents in the Washington region and beyond.
"Everyone is like, 'Oh my God, that is my son,' " said Ann Gibbons of the advocacy group Autism Speaks. She said the case calls attention to two crucial issues: "How do we protect the community, and how do we protect the impaired individual?"
"And in this case, we didn't protect either," she said.
Instead, a law enforcement officer with 33 years of experience ended his career early, and a teenager, who had committed no crime in the moments before he encountered the deputy, has spent about 10 months in custody.
Stafford prosecutor Eric Olsen maintains that Latson didn't assault the deputy because of his Asperger's but because of "his violent tendencies." But advocates for people with autism fear that Latson's case represents a scenario that will become increasingly common in years to come.
"It's not like the population is going down," said Scott Campbell, who has done more than 120 presentations for local agencies, including police departments, on how to deal with autistic children. "It's going up."
A violent struggle
On the morning of the confrontation, Latson's mother said, he slipped out of the house early to go to the library. But it was closed, so he sat on the grass.
What followed was a call to police about a suspicious black male, outside the library, wearing a hoodie and possibly carrying a gun. The call came, authorities said, after some children at the elementary school across the street became frightened and told a crossing guard.
The school was put on lockdown, a search ensued and deputy Thomas Calverley, 56, a school resource officer, spotted Latson walking out of a nearby wooded area.
"Hey, what's up, man?" Calverley said, according to his testimony.
The deputy approached. He squeezed the front pocket area of Latson's sweat shirt and lifted it to check for a gun. There was none. According to authorities, no gun was found, and the children, when questioned later, said they never saw one.
Calverley said he asked the teenager his name several times and, after the teen refused to give it, he grabbed Latson, told him that he was under arrest and bent him over the hood of a car. That's when the two started wrestling and fell to the ground.
At one point during the struggle, Calverley said, Latson flipped him hard onto his back, causing his head to hit the pavement. The teenager then hit him dozens of times and, at one point, took his pepper spray from him.
When it was over, Calverley had a one-inch cut on his head, numerous abrasions and a shattered ankle that required two plates and a dozen screws to repair.
Latson's attorneys didn't dispute what had happened. Instead, they presented an insanity defense in court. They said Latson - in whom intermittent explosive disorder and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder had also been diagnosed - could not control his behavior because of an "irresistible impulse."
The issue resonates not only with parents but with police. Every year, the International Association of Chiefs of Police picks one major issue to address at a national summit. In 2010, it was improving police response to people with mental illness and such conditions as autism.
"It has been a huge and significant part of our conversation in the last couple of years," said John Firman, director of research for the organization.
Firman, who participates in the Big Brother program, has a "little brother" with Asperger's. He said that when he goes out with the youngster, he sometimes wonders, "If anything would happen here, how would police deal with him?"
Among the summit's recommendations, Firman said, were that all officers be trained in how to deal with such people and that police work closely with families and community organizations.
Latson's case, however, was not a matter of a law enforcement officer being untrained, the prosecutor said. "This deputy has a 33-year-old mentally retarded child," Olsen said. "So the deputy is very sensitive to dealing with children with disabilities. He's lived it every day for the last 33 years."
Pained parents
On March 4, the jury found Latson guilty of four charges, including assault of a law enforcement officer and wounding in the commission of a felony. On May 19, he is scheduled to appear before Stafford County Circuit Court Judge Charles Sharp, who can accept or reduce the jury's recommended sentence.
Last week, prosecutors tried Latson on a breaking-and-entering charge related to an incident in 2009. In that case, prosecutors said, Latson rang the doorbell at a teenager's home. When the teen opened the door, Latson hit him and followed him inside. Latson pleaded guilty to assault last year. On Thursday, he was found guilty of breaking and entering.
"I'm not here to try to paint a pretty story about my son," but he is not the violent individual that Stafford authorities have depicted, said Latson's mother, Lisa Alexander. "Neli is not a danger to society. He doesn't belong in jail. He belongs at home."
Holly Robinson Peete, a co-host of CBS's "The Talk" and mother of a 13-year-old boy with autism, said she has had nightmares about a boy sitting on a lawn with a hooded sweat shirt. "In my dream, the boy's face is my son's," said Peete, who, with her son's twin sister, has written a children's book, "My Brother Charlie," about a boy with autism. "I'm telling you: It haunts me."
And it haunts other parents, too.
Ann Worley of Springfield has a scar on her cheek where her son David bit her. When he was younger, David would take out his frustrations on himself, she said, but now he is 18, 6-foot-2 and 360 pounds, and he lashes outward.
"There was a time last September, I actually locked myself in the bathroom," Worley said. "I was scared. I thought I was going to have to call the police."
If she had, she said, she wonders what the officers would have done.
Worley followed Latson's case through Facebook and started prayer chains for him that stretched to Chicago and Michigan. When she read about the verdict, she said, she felt "sick."
"My David," she said, "could have done the same thing."
Juan Navarro of Waldorf has long been aware of the dangers of having children who are growing older and larger and craving independence they may not be ready for. After moving moved to Charles County five years ago, he took photos of his autistic sons, Omar, now 17, and Sebastian, now 25, to the police station so officers would know their faces.
But on a recent night, Navarro hesitated to call 911 when Sebastian, who has Asperger's, took off down the road. The Latson case was fresh in Navarro's mind. Yet there was his son, a young man, 5-foot-9, who recently couldn't stop talking about Harry Potter, running down a busy street in the dark.
He dialed.
原文：
http://www.washingtonpost.com/
作者: 冠飞 时间: 2011-3-17 00:46
标题: re:[QUOTE][B]下面引用由[U]马丁...
[QUOTE]下面引用由[U]马丁[/U]发表的内容：
我自己对孩子自制力的培养是不够的，因为经常以自闭症为借口，有些事情是睁一只眼，闭一只眼。
同感。希望大家多介绍些方法培养孩子的自制力。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-17 07:03
标题: re:谢谢楼上的呼吁，还是大家都出力的好。否则...
谢谢楼上的呼吁，还是大家都出力的好。否则我就一个人在这里瞎吹，知道的笑笑而已，不知道还以为我有毛sick呢。
简单介绍一下第74楼。
这是最近美国弗吉尼亚州宣判的一个案子。被告人是一个19岁的黑人男孩，有艾森伯格的诊断。有一天上午他一个人去图书馆，图书馆关门了， 他就孤零零一个人坐在草坪上。这时候有一队小学生路过，有小孩被吓着了， 就有大人报案，说有个黑人男子兜里揣着枪在图书馆外晃悠。于是来了一个警察，搜了那孩子的身，没发现枪。警察问他好几次他的名字，孩子拒绝回答。于是警察把他推到警车前准备铐起来，这时候孩子情绪突然爆发，两人扭打起来。警察打不过，被揍得厉害。后来增援来了才把孩子制服。
这篇报道强调的这个事件在自闭症社区里的影响，很多家长对自己孩子的未来表示了忧虑，同时也呼吁警察要具备更多自闭症的知识，学会和自闭的孩子打交道。然而，具体到这个被打的警察，他有一个33岁的智障儿子，应该对特殊孩子有相当经验，可悲剧还是发生了。
后来宣判，因为孩子有点前科，被判10年半。真是太重了，不知道他会不会上诉。
作者: happyyue 时间: 2011-3-21 10:38
标题: re:这个要加为精华帖啊
这个要加为精华帖啊
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-24 09:44
标题: re:日本地震，利比亚战争，伊丽莎白.泰勒去世...
日本地震，利比亚战争，伊丽莎白.泰勒去世。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-3-29 08:27
标题: re:先做预告，这个周末结束本帖。66...
先做预告，这个周末结束本帖。
66楼提到的“总书记的讲话”还没看，不过刚刚听了总统的讲话，很服气，知道为什么72楼的久安贝茨要支持他了。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 10:03
标题: re:翻页继续。
翻页继续。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 10:15
标题: re:下面简单介绍一下56楼，它是关于自制力培...
下面简单介绍一下56楼，它是关于自制力培养的一个简单手册。主要提到了和自我控制相关的3个技巧。
1 孩子想要东西不能马上得到怎么办？
2 教孩子懂得自我的情绪
3 孩子暴怒时应该怎么办？
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 10:32
标题: re:先说第一点，孩子想要东西不能马上得到怎么...
先说第一点，孩子想要东西不能马上得到怎么办？
首先，让孩子给事件定性，教他说：我很想要这个东西，但是我知道我不能得到它。
然后让他自己考虑可能的解决方案，比如（1）过段时间再要 （2）把这个东西借来用一下，然后还掉 （3）大家共用一下 （4）等待自己的轮次 （5）做点苦力挣钱去买 （6）阿Q一下，说：我知道我想要这个东西，但我不能马上得到，这很正常，没什么大不了的。
接下来去实施自己的方案。总之，要培养孩子碰到这样的问题时要有一个理智的思路，而不是发脾气。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 10:53
标题: re:第二点，关于情绪，也有叫感情的，有点长，...
第二点，关于情绪，也有叫感情的，有点长，算了，跳过。欢迎有兴趣的朋友翻译。
第三点，关于愤怒时怎么办，首先，让孩子学会定位自己在愤怒状态（脸红，拳头紧握，眼泪在眼眶打转，等等）；然后，从1默数到10；接下来，可以考虑对策（1）走开 （2）放松，深呼吸 （3）尽量用平静的声音告诉对手我生气了；最后，实施你的选择。
当然，对于自闭症的孩子这些也许复杂了一点，不过不妨试试，也许有效呢？
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-4-3 10:59
标题: re:理智的思路？恩，还是理科战胜文科...
理智的思路？
恩，还是理科战胜文科的思路。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 11:16
标题: re:楼上好，注意到了，你今天穿了件蓝衣服。...
楼上好，注意到了，你今天穿了件蓝衣服。
作者: 马丁 时间: 2011-4-3 11:17
标题: re:下面展开第32楼，吹。 我这个年...
下面展开第32楼，吹。
我这个年纪的人，没看过“阿甘正传”的恐怕不多。其中有这么一段场景，主持人说： Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Dylan! 然后大幕掀开，珍妮（阿甘儿时的玩伴及后来孩子的母亲）抱着吉他坐在那里，开始唱一首歌，唱着唱着，嘘声四起，仓惶下台，居然没穿衣服。
她唱的那首歌是bob dylan的blow in the wind
How many roads most a man walk down
Before you call him a man ?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand ?
Yes, how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned ?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
影片里用的是68-72楼提到的久安贝茨的原唱。前面几句都好解释，最后一句，the answer is blowin' in the wind, 常规的解释是：答案飘在风中。也就是说，没谱儿。我认为这种理解是不对的，结合我对儿童自制力的培养的体会，应该是：
答案就是， 我亲爱的朋友啊，你得把孩子放到风里去吹。
就此打住，谢谢收看。
作者: 燕原 时间: 2011-4-3 11:23
标题: re:我昨天穿的也是蓝衣服。楼上改文科...
我昨天穿的也是蓝衣服。
楼上改文科了？也对，无论家长讲多少道理，孩子自己不去亲自体会一下那个痛，也就尝不到那个甜。
什么时候拉着，什么时候放手，这是个技术活还是一个感觉？
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